Weak (skins uk)

15:

The next few days were weird. Me and Freddie avoided eachother even though he was at my house like everyday. Me and effy didn't talk much recently but she was acting different. Like how she acted when tony got hit by the bus but a bit worse now. She would wake up and drink alcohol, she was acting a bit crazier. I went to college by myself today because effy said she wasn't feeling well. I was a bit scared, I felt like something was wrong. Once I got to college cook snatched me with a kiss. "Hey babe..what's wrong," he says noticing my expression. "I'm worried about effy.." I say looking down. "I'm sure she's fine, don't be sad today's a new good day alright?" Cook says lifting my chin up. I then smile and kiss him for a while which made me feel a lot better. He then puts him arm over me and it was time for us to make our first appearance together at college. "I knew it," JJ says. "Shut up JJ," cook says sitting down with me. Freddie just stares at us and I turn away from him. "When did this happen?" Naomi asked. "You're late," Emily says. There was still tension between them.

Before I left college I decided to go see the counselor. I just needed to talk to someone about my fear. Once I got the the counselor door I spot Freddie reaching for the door. Was he having the same issue as me. "Freddie...are you scared too?" I asked awkwardly. "About what?" "Nothing..forget it," I say walking away. "Wait Lana..I'll bike you home I'm going. There anyway," Freddie says. I decided to just let him, " okay.."

Once we got home Freddie called for effy. "Eff?" "Effy you home?" We went up the stairs and saw her in our mum's room. "Effy are you doing in mums room?" I ask. Me and Freddie both walk in seeing a bunch of papers on the wall and bed. She definitely isn't okay. "Effy?" Freddie asks. He kneels down to her and she starts to laugh. "What? What is it?" Freddie asks again. "Found my porn stash," she says throwing paper up on the floor. I laugh a bit still weirded out by this situation. "To make it easier," Effy says looking at papers looking crazier. "Okay..what the fuck did you take? cuz you're not making any sense," Freddie says. "It is to accept," she continues. "Accept?" I say. "The end," she replied. "End? And what fucking end would that be?" Freddie says confused. She looks up at him with a death stare, "mine. Freddie." His face turns from confused to scared..and so does mine.

The next day I stayed home later just to keep an eye on effy. Freddie woke her up early so he could give her breakfast. The next thing I know Freddie is storming out the door. I walk into effy's room, "what the fuck just happened." She doesn't say anything she just finished the rest of the bottle of vodka under her pillow. "Eff easy on the alcohol," I say grabbing the bottle. She looks up at me with a hurt look. I really didn't want to leave her alone but I couldn't miss any more coursework.

Once I got to school cook came up to me, "babe you don't look okay," cook says with a concerned look. "I'm not..I just can't focus I'm just so worried," I say stressed out. "Hey..it's okay, look we'll go somewhere alright? I don't like to see you like this," cook says wiping a tear from my eye. "Jesus cook i would've never thought I'd love you this much," I say smiling. He smiles back and grabs my hand. We run up to the roof and he hold me tight. "This time don't stand towards the end," he says. I laugh a bit, "I promise." I then jump on his back and he twirls next around. "Does anybody come up here?" I ask. "No, why?" I get off his back and start to kiss him. "What are you planning L?" He says. I smirk and then took off my shirt. Cook looked at me and licked his lips then I got on top of him wrapping my legs behind his back. We start kissing passionately and he starts making marks on my neck and boobs. Then we fall back, "Ow!" I laugh at cook hurting his back and leave kisses down his chest. I unzip his pants and take off his underwear. He twitches a bit in shock and then I go back up to his lips. He then turns me over and my back lays on the cold ground. He takes off my panties and places his penis inside of me. I moan a bit as my walls contract. He pushes in and out leaving me with a sensation. "Mmh..cook fuck," I say grabbing his back. He starts to go harder and harder and I moan loud hoping nobody can hear us from up here. Then his penis tightens and he releases. We both let out breaths and lay beside eachother. "Fuck..cook that was.." "yeah I know," he says smirking. We begin to put our clothes back on and lay down together watching the clouds. "You know I love you a lot right?" Cook says. "Of course and I love you a lot right back," I replied grabbing his hand beside me. Of all the things that happened this year I'd never thought this would be one. For some reason I fall asleep watching the sky. When I wake up Cook was driving me home. "Shit I fell asleep," I respond. "Yeah you're almost home," cook replied smiling. "What the fuck.." cook then says. "What?" I say looking out the window and I see people standing outside my house like we're having a party. Cook parks the car and we both run inside. "What the fuck is going on?" I ask Thomas, pandora and JJ. "Eff through a party," pandora says. "Yeah Freddie went to get her and we were going to leave," JJ says as they wave us goodbye. "Fuck our house is gonna be trashed," I say shaking my head. "It's alright I get the people out. Suddenly at the same time I hear cook and Freddie yelling at people to get out. I sit at the end of the steps as people exit the house. Effy and Freddie sit at the top of the stairs and effy looks hurt and scared. Cook and Freddie go to talk and Freddie passes her off to me. "Effy im here," I say hugging her.

Once we put effy to sleep freddie shows me paper. It reads psychotic depression. "I think she has that..she's had all those symptoms," Freddie says looking nervous. I didn't even know what to say. I was so scared for effy but I knew Freddie and me would protect her. Freddie loves her too much and would do anything to keep her safe, that's what love about them regardless of all the other shit. "She's gonna be okay freddie..we got her," I say patting his shoulder. The paper in front of him says effy but under the first f it spells out forever. I smiled at it and then left him with time alone. Cook was standing outside the door, "are you guys okay?" "Yeah..she has psychotic depression so we're gonna take care of her," I respond trying not to cry. Cook looks me in the eye with a genuine look, "Lana I love you...everything will turn out fine alright?" I nod and he wipes a tear that falls from my eye. We share one last kiss and hug then he leaves the house. I went up to my room and cried myself to sleep scared for what's gonna happen with effy.

-

The next day Freddie takes care of her assuring me he has it in the bag so I just stay in my bed all day. Before effy and Freddie left in the morning I saw effy in Tony's room. "Hey you alright?" I asked. She doesn't say anything but she looks at the picture of me her and tony and touches it. She smiled and then frowned again. "Eff.." I say before she just looks at me. I just hug her, I think she needed it. She hugged me back and then Freddie came to bring her to the park. When they left I grabbed my phone and decided to call tony. Me and him hadn't spoken in a while since I never knew If we wanted me to call and he never called that often. I guess he was really busy but I tried anyway. This time he picked up. I gasp in shock as I hear him speak, "Lana? Hey how are you?" I start to cry loudly and he gets concerned, "what's happened? Are you alright? I'm here L..speak to me," he says. "TONY...I FUCKING MISS YOU, PLEASE COME BACK effy has gotten a horrible depression, I've got depression and I'm scared effy might do something stupid..tony I need you, we need you," I cry out. "What? Slow down? Effy what? And I miss you too," he says confused. I take a few deep breaths before I speak again, "effy's got psychotic depression which is worse than any kind of depression
, I've got regular depression and I've tried cut myself so imagine what effy might do. I'm scared tony..IM SCARED." "Jesus..is she alright right now? Where is she? Just keep an eye on her and make sure she is okay and put on her favorite movie tonight," tony says softly. "You guys can sit in my bed and call me too. I'll be there and we can all talk..I think that will help things for a while before I can come," tony adds. "Yes I think that would," I chuckle. "And why'd your cut yourself Lana? Please don't say it was over a boy I might have to knock him up good and you shouldn't do that I love you Lana," he says firmly. "It wasn't exactly about the boy though he was apart of it," I say. "It complicated but..I miss you a lot when are you coming for a visit?" "I'm not sure..but with this news I need to find out, oh shoot I've got to scurry but I love you both please stay strong..together. See you later," tony says then the phone hangs up. I start to cry even more this time a mix of happiness and sadness. I've finally talked to tony after a long while but I miss him. I then fell asleep again because I couldn't get good sleep last night with everything that happened yesterday.

I wake up to a call on my phone from Freddie. "Lana..effy she did something bad get down to the hospital right now,"Freddie says his voice trembling. I could hear his tears through the phone. My heart started to beat fast and I quickly got dress running as fast as I could to the hospital. Once I got there I saw Freddie and Karen I'm the waiting room. "Where is she?" I ask. "She's alright she ain't the room," Karen says holding Freddie's hand which is trembling like crazy. "I need to see her..I NEED TO SEE HER NOW," I start to yell. A doctor comes around the corner looking at us. "Let me see my sister," I say to her. She nods motions us to her room. I run in and see effy with bandages on her arm and in a hospital gown. I almost broke down right then and there. Tears started rushing down fast like lava from a volcano that's about to erupt. " Eff ..I love you I love you I'm so glad you're okay," I struggle to say without breaking down. She smiles at me and holds my hand tighter. Freddie then walks in and sits beside me crying too. Effy turns to him with a blank face , "go away." Freddie holds it all in I can tell he was on the edge. But he leaves the room as effy told him to. I get up and hug effy this time like I'm clingy on to her life. "I spoke to Tony today..he said he loves you," I say to her. She smiles and I could tell she was really happy about hearing from tony. I held on to her hand tight and didn't let go. I couldn't loose her she was one of my favorite people in the world no matter what, and I love her more than anything.