mainly a stress reliever for me, I've not really been 100% despite what I show. my brain sucks sometimes, man :/ sorry in advance if it sounds like venting or projecting. writing is one of the only ways I relieve stress anymore.
they/them
mentions of transphobia, deadnaming, anxiety, and panic attacks mentioned. please be warned.
(I recommend listening to Talk To Me by Cavetown while listening to this)
you were sitting on the roof of your house again, just crying. it was the 3rd time this week you had done so. it was the only place you actually felt safe despite being up so high. you had been stressed again. you felt like you always had to be this happy person for everyone. you put up this happy persona every day for everyone in your chat, but at the end of the day, you were burnt out. you were afraid that if you didn't upload 3 times a week, your fans would leave, and you would be alone again. school was catching up with you too. you had at least 11 pages of homework due in a week. on top of that, your parents wanted you to stop streaming and finish college so you could support them. not to support yourself. to support them. they had this dream of moving far away from where you currently lived, away from all your friends. and they wanted you to finish college so they could do that. what was worse was they didn't accept you. you had tried several times to come out to them as non-binary, but only getting the same response. 'i had a daughter, I will always have a daughter, and I'm proud to have a daughter' was the response from your mother. 'yeah- whatever (dead name)' from your father. they never listened. you just wanted to leave. so you did.
Bad- or Darryl, had many times said if you needed to, you could stay with him. you always declined, saying you were fine. but this time, you needed to leave. you just couldn't do it anymore. you were hurting, and not even your family cared. you climbed back into your room through the window, landing on the floor with a small thud. your parents had refused to let you move out, even though you were almost 20. from a young age, they always told you that you had to stay with them to support them for the future. and here you were, almost 6 years after they made that statement, leaving to stay with the one person that supported you through everything. your boyfriend, your partner in crime for life, BadBoyHalo.
after packing all your stuff, you made your way down the stairs of the house. you were exhausted. "Where do you think you're going with all that, (deadname?)" your mother said as you almost reached the door. "I'm leaving. I can't be here anymore. I'm in so much mental pain, and you don't care! all I asked was that you respect my pronouns and name! it would have helped so much! but you cant even do that!" you shouted, about to leave when your mother shouted back. "Because you're confused. your not 'non-binary', you're my daughter, (deadname)." she shouted back. "Stop it! that's not my name! im leaving, and that's final!" you said, slamming the door shut on your way out. you could hear your mother shouting about how you would be back when you came to terms with your "Confusion".
fuck that household and everyone in it.
arriving at Darryl's house in your old white Toyota Convertable, you sat in your car for a moment, tears brimming at your eyes. pulling out your phone, you shot him a quick text.
you
hey, i need a place to stay until i can get on my feet, im outside in my car, can i come in?
BadBoyMuffin
Sure! is everything ok?
you
can we talk about it inside?
BadBoyMuffin
yeah, sure
sitting in your car, you watched as the front door opened, and you saw him poke his head outside to see your car. he walked out in some slippers, and in his hands were your favorite pajamas you left there, and your favorite blanket. giving a small smile, you got out of your car, leaving your luggage for tomorrow. walking beside him, the two of you entered his house as he gave you the things in his hands. you went to the nearest bathroom to change into the pajamas, wrapping the blanket around your shoulders.
Bad was waiting for you outside the door, and when you emerged out of the bathroom, he wrapped one of his arms around you, taking you upstairs to his room. the two of you sat on his bed when he pulled you into a hug while you started crying, explaining why you left. and he sat there, and listened to you, gently swaying the two of you back and forth as he rubbed your back.
"Muffin, listen to me. you don't have to be happy all the time. it's ok to be sad. it just shows your human. your parents think they know you because they raised you, but that's not true. only you know you. You're the best partner I could have ever asked for (Y/N). that's never gonna change. sometimes our parents think they know what's best for us, but forcing you to stop doing what you love is a terrible thing to do. You're an incredible person, and your friends and your fans would understand completely if you wanted to take a break. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what, ok? I love you, (Y/N)." he said, kissing your forehead, rubbing your back gently.
eventually, you stopped crying and the two of you just sat there. "Better?" he asked. "A little," you responded, taking out your phone opening Twitter, and composing a tweet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Y/N) - (Y/U/N)
hey all, i think im going to take a mental health break. I've been stressed lately, and i think i need to focus on self-care a little. ill be back soon, I promise. love you all <3
1.2k♻ 3.2k💬 10k❤
Replies;
Dream - Dreamwastaken
Take care, (Y/N), if you ever need anything let us know, we're here to help :)
Tommyinnit - Tommyinnit
Stay safe and drink water. You're doing great. take care :)
see more replies...
~~~~~~~~
throwing your phone onto the bed, you hugged Bad again, this time the two of you laying down on the bed cuddling. it had been a while since you had slept well. laying there while Bad messed with your hair, you became drowsy, you started to fall asleep. the last thing you heard before drifting off was Bad's voice.
"I love you muffin. you're worth it"
sorry for venting and projecting at all, I've just been kinda out of it i guess. writing has helped a bunch though, and all you guys' support has helped as well. thank you for sticking around with my lazy but this whole time. love you all <3
YOU ARE READING
(DISCONTINUED) DreamSMP x reader one-shots
FanfictionI'm probably privatizing this book soon
