Everything seemed went back to normal, except we're still limping due to our wounds. Two weeks are not enough to fully heal these.
Though it's enough to gain strength to service Chan as a driver. This is his last week for the semester, so, hooray.
"You're going back to condo?" Chan went down the bike and returned the helmet.
"Yeah. Since your brother told me so."
"Brother.. hehe. What are you going to do?"
"Dunno. Another errand most likely."
"Okay. Just don't tire Joshua out."
"Hey, I'm the run dog here."
"Blah blah. See you later." He went inside his campus. I started the engine right away so I could arrive at the condo earlier.
It hurts, this wound really hurts but I think this is worth it. For the third time, I sensed Joshua's emotion: anxiousness. I'm not happy to see him panic like that or anything. But I felt so satisfied that he didn't hide anything from me.
When he ran to me back in Jun's restau, his eyes were so grey. He was also shaking. Just seeing him get to that level of emotion because of me, just, I don't know. I thought, yeah, I am willing to get stabbed one more time just to protect him.
That was also my first time to touch his hand and to lay my palm on his face. I'm not thirsting for him or anything. It's just like an achievement for me to do it.
I didn't notice that I arrived at the condo sooner. I stood in front of the gate when Joshua went out, wearing a formal blazer.
"Why are you so groomed?" I asked.
"And why are you not?"
"I don't have to dress up to fetch Chan."
"I thought you read my message?"
"I did. You told me to go back after sending him to the univ."
"Ahhh. I sent you another one."
"Oh. Really?"
I took my phone and checked on it. Yeah, there were two messages, my bad. The first one is telling me to get back here and the other one is
"Let me meet your mom. Also, I'm going to visit dad."
Shitake. I am a hundred percent sure that I am as red as chili now. I felt the blood in my feet rushed up to my face when I read the text. Why does he want to meet mom? Is that why he's so presentable now?
I checked myself, I'm wearing a sweater and jeans. I'm bringing him to mom wearing like this. I'm also going to visit his dad looking like his driver.
"Jeonghan?"
"Oh yeah. Okay, hop in."
"I was thinking of using my car. This time, I'm driving."
Good thing this guy can't read faces. I am having an internal panic right now. Just imagine him driving for me, oh god it was really cool. Oh no, I'm out of my mind. What should I do now? I should have prepared myself.
"Can we drop by my apartment? I want to change." I asked.
"You look.. okay."
Wow. He lied.
"Tsk. Just let me change."
"That's out of our way. Want to borrow mine instead?"
Oh please, give me a rest, will ya? Not only he's driving for me with his car, but I'm also gonna use his clothes? I really hope I don't look silly right now-
"Are you okay? You're red." He called out.
"Yeah. Just, yeah I'll borrow yours instead." Fine, let's just get over with this now. He's starting to notice.
We entered his condo and it looks like a hotel. Everything's squeaky clean. The interior design is minimalist with neutral paintings. But it doesn't look boring. Also, I don't know whose coloring book I'm seeing on the desk and whose drawing is pinned on the wall. It's a cute cartoon bunny. I'm also seeing a set of beads under that drawing. Did I enter a day care?
He guided me and pass through Chan's room, something's hanged on his door knob. A whiteboard with a handwritten "do not disturb". If I'm gonna live with him, I will not mind that sign and just gonna barge in. For fun.
We entered his room and it smells good, a clean smell. He doesn't have much things in here, making his room spacious. I just remembered the apartment Hoshi and I are renting. Joshua needs to tell me a week before if he's visiting so we could conduct a major cleaning in our place, so he won't stumble on our cup ramens and chips.
"Here. You can choose anything."
He opened his closet and it's not a lot, but enough set of clothes. Just enough for casual, business, training clothes.
I picked up a navy blue short sleeved formal polo and a black neck tie. I think this could go well with the black jeans I'm wearing. I don't want to borrow more clothes from him.
I am about to change my clothes when I saw Joshua still standing beside me.
"Yo?" I called.
"What?"
"I'll go change."
"Okay." But he didn't move.
"Are you for real?" I asked.
"What??"
"Go out!"
"Ah. Okay."
He went out and I changed. Geez, how insensitive. I went out again after I got dressed.
"Sorry about that. Chan doesn't mind seeing each other naked so." Joshua explained.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Well, that's like brothers." I said.
"Brothers? Ah. So you don't see me as a brother?"
"Huh? Stop talking nonsense."
He paused and he suddenly clenched his fist and ran his finger through my right arm.
"What are you doi-"
I noticed that he's touching my gunshot scar.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Don't worry about me."
He still hasn't stopped running his fingers. I looked at him but he's back at hiding his emotions. But this action of Joshua usually screams guilt.
To be honest, I'm not mad at anything. I'm not blaming him. I do not see this as a burden. I'm fine and alive and kicking.
"Joshua, you're overthinking again."
I took his hand and placed it on my abdomen, on the recent stab wound I had. He flinched and insisted on taking his hand back. I moved closer to him and said
"This is the stab I got for protecting you."
"I'm.. sorry."
"And I told you to reserve your apologies. I did this to keep you alive. So promise me, don't die on me."
"I don't know if-"
"Promise me."
"I mean there will be uncontrollable factors like accidents or illness or-"
"Then control it. And promise me."
"You're kidding me. Besides.. Besides I don't want you to protect me anymore. I want to do everything to keep you alive. But right now, as long as you're with me, I don't think it's possible. So we can just-"
"Then let's keep each other alive. What's the point of you being a doctor."
He was taken a back. But his eyes sparkled. What, are you happy? Are you surprised? Show me.
He finally laid his whole palm on my wound and smiled.
"Yes. I'll not die on you. I'll not also let you die on me. Let's stay alive, together, okay?"
