Chasing You (Terrell Clarricoates Fan Fiction)

Chapter 28

Terrell pulls the car up to the emergency entrance of the hospital and parks the car before rushing to the passenger side to help me get out of the car. He helps me walk but I move too slowly on my own. He considers before he lifts me off the ground and rushes me into the building.

"She's pregnant! Something's wrong with the baby!" Terrell shouts to get someone's attention. A nurse rushes over with a wheel chair and Terrell helps me in.

"Get a room ready!" The nurse shouts at someone else. She pushes the wheel chair through the double doors and into a room as Terrell follows close behind in panic.

They get me changed into a gown and they have me lay on the bed. The pain rushes through me again and I groan softly. Terrell moves the hair out of my face as he kisses my forehead.

"I need you to tell me what you are feeling," the nurse says.

"It's a sharp pain that comes and goes every few minutes," I try to explain while the pain subsides. By the nurses face, I can tell it's not good. I know what she's thinking, I just pray to god it's not true.

~

I lay in the hospital bed while Terrell holds my hand next to me. We are waiting for the test results to come back.

"What are you thinking about?" Terrell asks.

"It's taking too long. Something is really wrong Terrell. I feel it," I say as a lump forms in my throat. He kisses my hand.

"They will figure it out okay. It'll be okay," he says. I can tell he's worried about the baby, although he won't admit it.

The doctor knocks before walking into the room and shutting the door behind him.

"How are you doing Caroline?" The doctor asks.

"Fine, are the tests back?" I ask. He looks over the papers in his hand.

"Yes, I have so unfortunate news for you both," he says sadly. My heart drops. This is it. The choice is being made for me. I never got to decide if I wanted this baby or not and now my options are being taken away.

"You have a placental insufficiency, in which the placenta fails to pass sufficient hormones, antibodies, oxygen and nutrients to the baby. In other words, your placenta is not growing big enough to sustain the fetus. You're having a miscarriage," the doctor explains. Terrell stares at me the whole time the doctor speaks. It's like he's watching me to see when I'll break. I stare at the doctor.

"What do we do now?" I ask. My heart pounds.

"Now, you can stay here or go home where you are comfortable and wait for the passing of the fetus," the doctor says. I swallow the lump in my throat. This isn't happening.

"What about for future pregnancies?" I ask.

"It's very unlikely that you would be able to carry a baby full term, without harming the baby or yourself," the doctor replies. I can't have a baby, ever. I always knew I would be a mom, the only question was whether or not it was with Terrell or not.

"I'll give you two some time," he states before he leaves and closes the door behind him. That's when I break. Tears fill my eyes. Terrell stands and pulls my body into a hug as I cry. This isn't what was supposed to happen.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers. I hold my stomach and for the first time, Terrell lays his hand on my stomach too. He looks down at my stomach and I see his eyes get glossy. This was his child, and I let the baby down. I let Terrell down.

"I'm sorry," I cry as I see the sadness in his eyes. His head shoots up.

"Why are you sorry?" He questions.

"I couldn't carry your baby," I tilt my head as more tears fall.

"No. This isn't your fault," he says as he leans in and presses his forehead to mine.

"You didn't do this. I don't blame you at all," he says confidently.

"We lost our baby," I whisper in sadness. He brings his thumbs up and brushes the tears off my cheeks just as another wave of pain hits. I throw my head back and cry softly. He crawls into the bed next to me and lays next to me. He holds me and whispers his sweet words into my ear as he strokes my hair to help me get past this.

I passed the baby a few short hours later at the hospital. I don't think I've ever cried as much as I did tonight. Terrell held me while I cried and even cried with me at a few moments. It was painful both physically and emotionally. Even with us fighting over the baby and the wedge that it put between us, I feel like the loss of the baby brought us closer together than ever before. It's sad but true. Now that I know having babies won't be in my future, I can't help but worry about the day Terrell decides he wants to be a father and I can't give him that.