If I can't have you

five

" I miss you more, grandma." I say on the phone as my grandmother ends the call. She has been calling me at least twice a week to check on me and I really do miss her, but I know she wanted me to come live with my dad so we could reconnect now that I don't have mom anymore.

It has been one more week since I first came to Canada and I feel like I'm finally getting used to the weather, even though I miss the beach like crazy. That's not the only thing I've been missing though. I still find myself missing my mother and the talks we had sometimes. The truth is that I feel selfish for not missing her even more, like I'm betraying her or something. But the change of scenario from Miami to here has been helping me not miss her as much, especially the time I spend with Shawn. He has been helping me heal, even if he doesn't know that. We became a lot closer the last few weeks and by now I know for sure I'm not crazy. He's been holding my hand and touching my face whenever he has the opportunity to, but we never talk about what it means.

I hear something scratching my door, so I get up from the bed and open it, already knowing Coco is the one doing it. She walks inside wiggling her tail happily, leaving some golden fur on the floor as she walks around my room. I laugh at how excited she is before I walk to the bathroom, but as I come back I gasp when I see her with the book Shawn gave me between her teeth. Before I can say anything, she runs outside through the open door, heading downstairs, still with my book.

" Coco!" I scream, running immediately after her, but she doesn't even hear me. She makes her way into the kitchen first, making me chase her around the table before making her way to the open doors that lead to the indoor pool. I scream her name again when I see her running towards the pool, knowing I won't be able to save the book because she's about to jump into the water. Just then, I notice there's someone inside the water. Shawn is swimming to the edge of the pool and quickly takes the book from Coco before she finally jumps in. I walk to him and he hands me the edition of " Anne of Green Gables" that he gave me two weeks ago as a gift. " Thank you." I manage to say before we both start laughing, watching Coco happily swim next to him, her head just slightly above the water.

" I think there's water on the cover. Sorry about that." He says once we finally stop laughing. " Would you help me take her out of the pool? Mom hates when she leaves fur in the water."

" Sure." I say with a smile, walking to place the book on a table on the corner of the room before helping him. He lifts Coco over the edge of the pool and I pull her enough for her to walk out, and she ends up throwing water all over me while trying to get herself dry. I'm still standing next to the water when I feel Shawn touching my hand and pulling me closer, making me trip and fall in the water with him.

" I can't believe you just did this." I say in shock as I feel the warm water around me.

His mouth lifts on the corners in his most innocent and boyish grin, making me look at him angrily before throwing water on his face. In a few seconds, we find ourselves in a fight of water while Coco enters the water again, swimming around us. At some point, Shawn manages to pull me into his arms and try to tickle me, making me laugh while trying to breathe properly. He finally stops when he sees I can't breathe, but keeps holding me in his arms as I hold on to his shoulders. Suddenly, I'm hyper aware of how his wet skin feels under my fingers, the way he has both hands on my waist and how close we are from each other. I can see him visibly gulp as I catch my breath and look down at his bare chest, finally noticing he only has swim trunks on. My eyes go back to his face and he's already looking into mine, but then Coco breaks us apart, making us both laugh with our cheeks red. I lower myself underwater, trying to hide my embarrassment, but when I return to the surface, Shawn is looking at me with such intensity that I have to climb out of the pool.