If I can't have you

twelve

Two days later I’m walking downstairs in my uniform, carrying a red coat in my hands because of the cold, when I see Layla running from the living room to the kitchen, then Shawn runs right after her, making her laugh. We all sit down to have breakfast and as my dad and Ella have a conversation, I notice Shawn gesturing at me with panic in his eyes. He’s pointing at me and then at his neck. I narrow my eyes in confusion before I raise my hand to my own neck, suddenly realizing what he means. There’s a huge hickey on my neck that he left there the other night and I forgot to put a scarf on. I look at him with the same panic in my eyes as I discreetly try to hide it with my hair, but from the look in his eyes, I don’t think it’s working. I try to hide it the best I can and not draw too much attention to myself, so when we finally walk out of the kitchen, Shawn takes a scarf from his backpack and wraps it around my neck. My dad leaves the kitchen just in time to see him helping me, but he doesn’t seem to make much out of it.

 “ Oh my god.” I sigh and laugh when we’re inside his car. “ I thought they were going to see it.”

 “ Me too. It looks really bad.” He says, pulling out of the driveway and driving us to school.

 “ Really? I thought it would look better by now.” I take the scarf off and try to look at it in the rearview mirror, being surprised that it looks as bad as he said it would. “ How did you even manage to do that?”

 “ Sorry.” He says with a small laugh, but when I look at him he’s blushing. “ Guess I just got a little carried away.”

 “ I like it.” I say quietly after a long moment of silence, feeling my face burning from the confession.

 We look at each other and he has a smirk on his lips that makes me go even redder, so I look away at the window as he laughs. I put the scarf back on before we get to school and Julia keeps asking me why I have it on inside the building, which leads to me taking it off and her and Brian teasing us because of what’s underneath it. During lunch Alessia finally sits with us and things start to slowly get less awkward, making us go back to how it used to be before Halloween. We all start to talk about what we did for Christmas, but Julia notices Brian paying attention to his phone with a smile.

 “ Is that the girl from the party?” She asks in a teasing tone of voice.

 “ What?” He asks, quickly blocking his phone so she can't see whoever he’s texting.

 “ The one from Halloween.” Julia says excitedly. “ Come on, we all saw you making out with Snow White.”

 “ I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Brian says before looking at his food and making us laugh. 

 Julia is not wrong though, I did see him at that party with a girl dressed up as Snow White and they were definitely doing more than just talking. I look at Shawn and I’m instantly sure he knows more than we do about Brian’s mysterious girl. The next day we’re at our usual hidden spot at the library when I ask him about it.

 “ Yeah, he told me about her.” Shawn says as he plays with a strand of my hair. “ But just because he thought it would be awkward if he didn’t.”

 “ So you know her?” I ask curiously.

 “ I do.” He says, pausing for a moment before talking again with a laugh. “ She was my first kiss. We dated for like three weeks.”

 “ Oh.” I’m surprised by that, but it makes sense that Brian would tell him. “ Does she go here?”

 “ No. She goes to the public high school. She’s friends with Brian’s cousin.” And with that, he kisses my lips and makes whatever questions I had go away. He starts kissing my neck, but I stop him when I remember I still have this huge hickey and I don’t need a second one to hide from Ella and my dad.