If I can't have you

four

I walk out of the ensuite bathroom in my new room with a towel wrapped around my body and open the closet next to the window to look for the school's uniform. It has been almost a week since I got here and I finally learned my lesson to wear the uniform's black pants instead of the red skirt. I also have a lot of new coats, scarfs and beanies that are helping me survive the cold weather. After changing into my clothes, something catches my eyes outside the window and I step closer to take a look. Shawn is running towards the front steps of the house in sweatpants and a hoodie and even though he doesn't look tired or out of breath, the sweat dripping off his face tells me he probably ran a long distance. I've seen him getting out of the house after school to run almost everyday since I moved in, but this is the first time I see him doing it in the morning. When I walk out of my door with my backpack on one of my shoulders, I notice Shawn walking up the stairs in the direction of his room. I wasn't wrong, he does look really sweaty and like I thought, he doesn't even look tired.

" Hey, good morning." He says with a smile when he notices me. " You're already up? I must be late."

" You do this every morning?" I ask with curiosity. " I thought you were already running in the afternoons." I feel my cheeks burning, realizing I just admited I've been paying attention to his routine.

" I run twice a day." He says quietly, like he's not supposed to be telling me that. " My mom doesn't know that, she would probably say it's too much."

" Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." I say as I start walking towards the stairs. " You should change or we'll be late for school." I add, trying to end the conversation before I say something stupid, like offering company on his morning run.

My feet make their way downstairs before he can answer me and I find Ella by herself in the kitchen making pancakes. I offer to help her and in a few seconds my dad and Layla enter the kitchen, finding us making breakfast together. My dad seems happy to see that I'm getting along with Ella and once we all sit down to eat, Shawn walks inside the kitchen in his uniform with his hair still wet from the shower he took. I try not to stare when sits down across from me on the table, but he looks extremely cute with his cheeks flushed because of the cold weather. He looks up and catches me staring, flashing me a smile that sends unwanted butterflies to my stomach and an obvious blush to my cheeks.

" You're red." Layla's soft voice breaks our stare contest, making all pairs of eyes look at her, who's sitting down next to me. " Both of you."

I panic for a second, thinking I made it obvious with my reaction when Shawn smiled at me. I don't want my dad or Ella even considering the possibility that I might have a crush on him, which has only become harder to hide during this week I've been here.

" Yours too." Shawn says, reaching for his sister's cheek across the table, making her laugh and pull away from his hand. " It's probably the cold."

I look at Layla and she does have red cheeks, so I take a breath of relief knowing that Shawn's right. No one noticed me blushing because of him, because it does look like the cold is the reason for our red cheeks. My eyes go back to him and he winks at me with a smile that makes me question if he did notice I blushed because of him, but I let that go. It would be much easier to forget about it if he didn't keep doing this type of thing though. Am I crazy to think that wink meant more than just a friendly teasing?

" Shawn, don't forget your tie." Ella says when the two of them stand up to go to school. " I got three calls from school already this month because you're not wearing part of your uniform."

" Ugh. You know I hate that thing." Shawn sighs before walking upstairs and meeting me at the front door a few seconds later with his red plaid tie in hands.