ZINDAGI KYA KEHTI HAI

Chap 18

Swara was sitting in the darkness of her room. Words of Nikhil were stabbing her heart. Past was haunting her mind.

You are the best Swara! I love you, so much!

I hate you Swara! You failed me!

She was wondering , how some mental illnesses can change the perspective of an individual. How can someone change so much that he can't even remember his own love for someone.

I am nothing without you, Swara! You are the best thing happened to me.

You ruined everything Swara! You are the worst thing happened to me!

Swara wiped a tear trying to come out from her eyes as she saw lights from the hall turning on. She saw the time. It was 5 in the morning, time for Sharmishtha's morning walk.

Swara realised she was awake whole night. She couldn't sleep the night before and was awake tonight too. Her traumas were surfacing up again. She healed everyone of their traumas but her traumas were unhealed.

She heard the noise of shutting the door. Sharmishtha had finally gone out for walk. Swara stood from the bed and went towards the window. It was the cold morning of November. Diwali was on it's way, after two days.

She got up and did some yoga and meditation to stop herself from thing about Nikhil. But nothing helped.

Finally, she collected her old clothes. She knew what would help! Before going to her clinic, she stopped her car in front of an orphange. She donated the clothes there. Watching the children playing gave her heart some relief.

From the corner of her eye, she looked at a building a few metres away from there. She moved towards it. As her steps reached the main gate of it, the watchman stood up and greeted her. Swara smiled humbly and looked at the board of building

SANT KUMAR TRUST MENTAL ASYLUM

She stepped inside the premises. Swara was a visiting doctor there. It was the place for the hopeless cases. But Swara was among the few doctors in Mumbai, who were known to treat those hopeless cases.

Swara looked around. Some of the patients were playing, some were sitting in the corner just staring at the sky. Some were creating funny noises, some were talking to themselves.

Swara felt an ache in her heart seeing them like this. She left a silent prayer for them and went inside. After checking her patients, she turned towards nurse.

"How is he, sister?" Swara asked.

"Just as 4 years back, Dr. Swara!" Nurse replied.

Swara let out a sigh and turned her back.

"Ma'am!" Nurse stopped her, "You don't want to meet him?"

Swara let out a sigh and turned her face towards nurse, "I wish I could!"

"He is sleeping now. You can see him at least." A voice came from behind. Swara found Parineeta standing there.

"Pari! When did you come?" Swara hugged her.

"Just now!" Pari said, "Let's meet him. At least once!"

"Nah Pari! Please! You don't know in what way will he react!" Swara's distress was visible in her voice.

Pari's steps stopped all of a sudden. She looked at Swara with all the pity in her eyes.

"For four years you have not even looked at him, just for his betterment!" Pari carressed her hair, "But Swara! You yourself know that there are no chances of any betterment"