Black And White //N.H

43.

"Niall Horan, what the actual fuck?" I say into the phone as soon as he picks up. It's the 20th of October, and he just released his album. "Emily, nice talking to you too," he says ironically into the phone. "What do you think you're doing?" I ask, ignoring his comment. "What do you mean?" I huff, before getting off my bed. "What do I mean? Your album. Almost everything is about me, what the hell," I say and I hear a sigh coming from him. "Em, I'm sorry about that, if I had any idea that you didn't know I would call you up," he tells, making me frown. "Knew? How would I know that when we haven't spoken in a month?" He's quiet for a minute, probably thinking. "Well, I wrote a lot of them when we were together. You and Me, The Tide, Slow Hands, Seeing Blind, Mirrors. What did you think? That I threw out those when you broke up with me, so that I would have to start up again?" He asks, and I flinch a little. "I'm not talking about those songs. I'm talking about Flicker, Paper Houses and I don't know, On the Loose. And for the record, I didn't break up with you, I said break," I tell him, and he lets out an unamused chuckle. "Em, I thought you wouldn't mind, ok? And what's the difference, anyways? The word break is in break up," he says, and I close my eyes. "Break means you don't want it to stop forever," I mumble. He's quiet for some time, the only sound I hear is his breathing.

"Do you really mind the songs?" he finally says, making me smile a little. "No." He huffs at this, and I can picture him rolling his eyes at me. "Then why did you call me?" he asks, and I bite my lip. "I needed an excuse to talk to you. Not that I have anything to really say, but I miss you, as my friend I mean. I want us to be friends again." I tell him honestly, at this point my dignity is gone, if I ever had any, that is. "I thought you would never ask," he jokes, making me laugh. "I miss talking to you, and hanging out with you. I'm actually coming to London on Friday, if you want to hang out?" he says, and I smile. "Yeah, sure. I can pick you up if you want, I have the day off," I say and he agrees. "Em, before you hang up, did you listen to the album? Like for real?" he asks after we have talked for a while. "Yeah, I did. I absolutely loved it, every single part. You're a great songwriter, and a great singer as well," I tell him honestly. "Thank you. I know we haven't spoken in a while, but your opinion matters to me. I gotta go, I have an interview, but see you on friday then," he says, and I tell him goodbye before letting out a sigh and walking out of my apartment.

"Hey, Lily," I say when I enter her flat, approaching her by her couch. "Hey," she says, sitting up a little. "Oh, belly," I say, and poke it gently, making her laugh. "How far along are you now? Six months?" I try and she nods, rubbing her growing belly. She was quite big for being six months along, but she still looked good. "Can you come with me to my ultrasound tomorrow? It's at 12 and I don't want to go alone," Lily asks and I check my schedule in my head. "Sure, I can do that. I'll pick you up at eleven thirty," I tell her, letting my body fall back on the couch. "They are going to tell me the gender tomorrow," Lily tells me excitedly, and I grin. "Really? What are you hoping for?" I ask, and she smiles a little. "As long as the baby is healthy it doesn't really matter," she tells me and I nod, before she looks up from her stomach to me. "But I do think it's a girl," she says and I frown. "Why?" She shrugs a little. "I don't really know? It's just a feeling I have," she tells me and I nod, before we start talking about her paternity leave.

"Do you think you could ask Roman or Niall to help me set up the nursery? I can manage most of it I think, but there is some furniture that I need help with," Lily says and I bite my lip. "I'll ask Roman, I guess." She nods a little, before placing her hand on mine. "Did you listen to Niall's new album?" She asks, and I nod slowly. "I called him earlier today. Asked him what the fuck he was doing," I say with a small smile, and her eyebrows shot up, surprised at my words. "You called him?" she repeats, and I bite my lip. "Yeah." It comes out as a breath, more than a word. "I'm picking him up at the airport on Friday," I mumble quietly and Lily sits up straight. "You're meeting him again this friday? You haven't spoken to him since you kissed Roman. What are you even going to tell him?" she asks me, shocked. "I don't know, ok? I miss him," I tell her, the last few words barely coming out as a whisper. "Yeah, I know you do, I see you almost every single day. I know that you're miserable," she begins and I cut her off. "Hey, I'm not miserable, come on," I say and she rolls her eyes at me. "Well, you're definitely not having the time of your life, and you can't deny that. Does he want to get together again?" she asks, straight forwards as always. "No, maybe? I don't know. I hope he does, but I told him I wanted us to be friends again," I say and she nods a little. "If I were you I wouldn't try anything right now. Wait with it. You decided you wanted a break because he lives in LA, and he still does. Let both of you grow a little, as persons I mean," she tells me and I frown, realizing what she's saying is right. I did pretty much break up with Niall because of my own, selfish reasons. I didn't take his feeling into consideration, thinking about how moving might have been hard for him. I only thought about how I couldn't deal with it, and I didn't even try it first. "Maybe I should tell him that I shouldn't pick him up on friday?" I say slowly, taking in Lily's expression to see how she reacts. She bites her lip a little and glances away from me. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Emily," she sighs and I bite the inside of my cheek. "I understand what you mean anyways," I mumble.

When I get back home to my flat I'm surprised to find Roman laying on my couch, zapping through the tv channels. "M'ello?" I say, leaning into the doorframe. "Em, hey. I'm gonna cut straight to it, you have two weeks of work. I thought you might want to know. I already sent your mother a text saying that you'll visit her," I frown, before jumping down on the couch and crossing my legs. "Why?" He smiles a little, leaning back with his hands placed behind his head. "Because, we know you've been stressed out lately, and we don't want you to get sick. Now, I also know you spoke with Niall earlier today," he explains and I look down at my hands that's fiddling with the hem of my shirt. "Yeah, it was stupid, really." He chuckles a little and I look up at him. "No, or a little, but what's done is done. You're picking him up on friday, yeah?" Roman asks and I nod slowly. "I'm supposed to, but I'm not sure it's such a good idea," I tell him, the talk I had with Lily just an hour prior still messing with my head. "You don't really have much of a choice now. Pick him up and see how it goes," Roman tells me and I shrug. "I don't know. I just spoke to Lily and we were talking about how I should wait and grow as a person before I do anything," I tell him. "If you want to grow as a person the right way to do so is certainly not to ditch him now, without a legit reason. Just pick him up and then do your growing or whatever." I roll my eyes at him and lick my lips a little. "Whatever."

AN// Niall James Horan, welcome back after a chapter without you lol...