Black And White //N.H

44.

AN// Make sure you read chapter 43. Also:

TW// Abuse (I'm not sure if I'm supposed to have this here, but I thought I'd put it in her to be safe)

"Ok, so here we can hear the heart, it's strong and steady so that's good. If we go a little lower we might be able to determine the gender, if it doesn't hide away like last time," the elderly woman says while moving the device over Lily's belly. I'm a little uncomfortable, as I don't really know what's going on. Lily squeezes my hand a little, flinching at the gel. "Does it hurt?" I ask her concerned, and she looks up at me as if I just said something stupid. "No, it's cold," she says and I open my mouth in a 'oh'. "If you look here, it seems like you are having a little baby girl, congrats," the woman tells us and I squeal.

"Seriously, congrats Lily, let's go out and get some lunch or something?" I told her after the appointment. I tried paying attention to the rest but after she said the gender it was just a lot of talk about cells and breathing and uterus, so I couldn't keep up. I told myself that I would have to read up on this before I ever get a kid, as I realized I don't know a single thing about what actually happens inside the belly. All I know is that when they come out they scream, eat and sleep, and even then I don't really know how to handle it over a long period of time. "Sure, we can head over to the bakery if that's ok?" she says and I nod.

"I'm leaving for Manchester on saturday," I tell Lily when we're eating. "Really? For how long?" I shrug a little, not really having decided on how long yet. "And you're still picking up Niall tomorrow?" she continues and I nod at her. "I mean, I told him I would," I say and she smiles. "Yeah, I know." I finish up my salad and sit there, resting my head on my hand. I was going to see Niall again tomorrow. I purse my lips, thinking about our last encounter. "Emily, hi," I hear a voice from behind say and I turn around, frowning when I see my ex, Chris. "Christopher," I sat surprised and he smiled at me. "How are you doing?" I raise an eyebrow at him, not used to his kind behavior. When we were together he never asked me how I was, and how I felt. "Uh, I'm good, thank you," I respond slowly, not really knowing how to act. "Lily, you're glowing, congrats by the way," he says turning his attention to her. I glance over at Lily who looks like she's looking at a complete stranger, and in some ways it seems like it as well. Chris looks back at me, biting his lip. "I've been trying to get a hold of you, Em. I completely understand if you say no, but I was wondering if you might want to have coffee with me one day, I want to talk to you. About how I've treated you," he says, looking straight into my eyes and I swallow hard. I clear my throat a little, and bite my tongue. "I'm sorry, I'm busy tomorrow and then I leave for Manchester on Saturday," I tell him, trying to avoid the awkward situation with him. "What about now? Half an hour, that's all I need," he pushes and I look over at Lily, but she just shrugs, not really helping me. "Ok, half an hour, meet me here tomorrow at 10," I say, curious of what he has to say.

"You look good," Chris said when we're sitting in the park the morning after. "Thanks," I mumble, looking at a girl on the other side of the road, riding her bicycle. I don't say anything and neither does he, so it's complete silence for about five minutes. I don't plan on starting this conversation either, as I don't really have anything to say to him. "I'm sorry, Emily," he finally says and I look over at him. "For treating you like shit. I realized that I was a complete dick, really. I wish I could take it back," he tells me softly, looking down at his hands. I bite my lip, not really knowing what to respond. "You didn't deserve it, you never did. I was just really stupid. I grew up thinking girls are an accessory, my parents always acted like that anyways. I couldn't see that there was more to you than just your looks." I flinch a little when he says that, but he doesn't seem to notice. That was both an apology but also an insult at the same time.

"I'm different now, I really am. And I miss you, I think we could work things out, see if we can try again. I'm ready for it." When he says this I stiffen, straightening up my back. "What do you mean?" I ask him, not really believing that he's suggesting we start dating again. "I mean that I'll let you be my girlfriend again," he tells me, placing his hand over mine but I quickly pull it away.

"Are you serious? You brought me here to say sorry and now you want to get together? Are you crazy?" He frowns a little, before his appearance becomes a lot harder and intimidating, removing what he had shown me of softness earlier. "I know that you want to, don't deny it." I get up from my seat quickly and roll my eyes at him. "What on earth made you think I want that?" I ask, and he gets up, taking a step closer, towering over me. I back up a little, but he follows. "I know you, Emily. You wouldn't agree to meeting me if it weren't for the fact that you want me, and it's ok. I want you to." When he says the last couple of words I want to turn away and run. I've forgotten how scary he can be, his eyes darkening, and his hair falling into his eyes. "I'm gonna go," I mumble, turning around, but I quickly feel his hand take a hold of my wrist pulling me back. "Chris, stop it, you're hurting me," I say, trying to remove his hand. When he tightens his grip I flinch, and pull a little harder. He leans down, placing his other hand on my chin roughly. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't kiss you right now," he whispers, making me shudder. I try to scan my brain for what I should do, but I can't come up with anything.

When we were dating Chris never touched me like this. By now I was sure his grip would leave a bruise, and if he didn't remove the hand on my chin that would bruise as well. "I have a boyfriend," I say, without thinking it through. He smirks a little, and by now I'm not sure if he had changed at all, if anything it seems like he had only gotten more mean. "Really? What's his name, love?" he asks, releasing his grip on my chin, and places it on my other wrist instead. "Niall," I say, my voice barely making it. "Niall, right. The popstar, huh? I knew you were into guys with money, but not that much of it. Anyways, doesn't seem like he thinks you're that interesting based on the articles I've seen lately. But then again, you don't really know how to keep a guy's attention. I lastet a month, maybe two, before I started fucking other girls. Don't cry, I'm just telling you the truth. It's not like you didn't know," he says, his tone low. I blink away a couple of tears forming in my eyes, before pulling the most intimidating face I can muster on my face.

"You know what Chris. I haven't seen you in so long, and to be honest I forgot what a fucking joy you are to be around. I know you don't take rejection well, but you need to face the fact that I am over you, and I've been for years. Yes you fucked other girls, but guess what, I fucked other boys, so get over yourself," I say sarcastically, spitting out lies. I never slept with someone else in our relationship, I could never. Before I can even react he lets go of my hand and I feel a striking pain on my cheek. I put my hand up to where he slapped me, my eyes widening at his actions. He takes a step back, suddenly realizing what he did as well.

"Fuck, Emily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I don't know what I was thinking, you just pissed me off and I don't know," he speaks quickly, but I just turn around and start walking to where I parked my car. I hear him shouting my name, and can sense him walking after me so I pick up my speed. "I think someone is calling your name," I hear someone say and look over to see a guy my age leaning against a brick wall of the building I'm walking past. "I can stall him if you want. Wouldn't want you to get hurt, right?" he says, and I laugh at his statement, but realize he doesn't know it's too late for that. "Thank you," I say quickly before running off to my car and driving off.

AN// Chris is an arse, but what can we do about that, huh? Also, thought I'd let you know that I've never been in a situation like this, so I didn't really know how to write it.