Pretending

chapter 15

Kuroo's pov

I began to chuckle as Ash rested his head against my shoulder and started falling asleep . A idea appeared in my head and I dug around in my pocket . Then pulled out my phone . After unlocking it i held my phone up infront of me and moved it so Ash was also visible . Next I proceeded to take multiple selfies .

When I got board of talking pictures . I started using some snap chat filters . One of them I found made the person you're talking a picture of look like a tedy bear . Even better you could choose the color .

So I decided to take a picture of Ash and me . But in it he looked like a grey tedy bear . It was still obvious it was him in the photo though . 

Smiling and laughing to my self . I thought I'd send it to bokuto . Seen as he has been asking me about the time he video called me when I was in Ash's bed .

On the picture I wrote ' my new tedy bear . Then after that I put a load of emojis with love hearts . After sending it I waited for a reply . Until I realised that he wasn't on line . So I just put my phone back in my pocket .

Twenty minutes later

We were now getting closer to our stop . I new I was going to have to wake Ash up . But I really didn't want to disturb his peicefull sleeping face . If I didn't have to carry my school bag I would carry him so I don't want to have to wake him , but that's not an option .

I gently shock his shoulder to try and wake him and he growned while slowly opening his eyes . " We've gotta get of the train soon Ashie " He sent me a tired glare and I held my hand up in an apology for waking him .

Then after the train slowed to a stop we both walked into the plat form . Ash seemed to still be tired so I offered to carry his bag . So In one hand I held on to our bags and the other hand , I folded it over his shoulder . He had his head resting against my chest .

Once we started walking through the gates that lead to the street my phone buzzed . I didn't want to answer it yet because I know I have to stop walking while I get my phone out of my pocket .  So I continued to walk towards Ash's house .

When we reached the driveway I put our bags on the floor by my feet . Then I pulled Ash closer to me and he looked up at me . His face was slightly rosy from when I woke him up . ‘ Wow he looked adorable ‘ . I was even finding it hard not to start blushing while looking at him .

After laughing to myself I placed my hands either side of his face on his cheeks . He then raised an eyebrow before smiling . That's when I thought it was the perfect time to give him a quick kiss . But as i leaned in to do so i noticed him doing the same . So a smile grew on my face .

As our lips collided I humed to myself . But as I did this Ash started kissing me back quicker . It was as if he had suddenly gained a bunch of confidence out of nowhere . I smiled to myself as I also started moving my lips quicker .

Me and Ash had been kissing for what felt like five minutes now . Taking every chance no matter how small so we could breath in oxygen . By now i was starting to get aggravated by the fact that something such as oxygen could stop me from being able to show Ash how much i valued him . A growl echoed deep in my throat and floated out of my lips as I urgently moved and put my hand on the back of Ash’s head . So I moved his head up ever so slightly so it was easier to show him how much I appreciated him .

The situation was getting really heated really quickly . I literally felt like I could do anything . But that’s when Ash pushed me away . So I gave him a concerned expression . “ i ...urrr ….j...just thought it would be b...better if we went to m...my r...room “ After raising an eyebrow suspiciously i started laughing and agreed with my cute little Ashie teddy bear .

Ash turned around, picked up his school bag and ran towards his house . Leaping over a small hedge as he went . I followed after him but without jumping over the cluster of leaves that grew out of the ground . Then he opened the door , quickly greeted his auntie before saying he had a project to do and running up the stairs . So I sent a nod to his auntie and followed him .

His bed room doesn’t look much different from the other time I was here . As Ash walked into the room he tossed his bag across the room and it landed by the chair in his room . I couldn’t be bothered though so i just dropped my bag at my feet and stepped closer to Ash . His hair started shining in the final light of the day that managed to break in through the window . I nodded to him to question whether he was still okay with this and he smiled back . So I wrapped a hand over his shoulder and my other hand rested on the back of his head .

While we both leaned in closer toward each other I unzipped my hoodie and slid it off my arms . Seconds after Ash’s and my lips connected for the second time this evening . This time we went straight into the heated affectionate kisses rather than starting off with small gentil ones .

Ash’s pov 

As the intensity of the moment increased Kuroo guided me over to my bed while still kissing me . Then he moved his hand from my shoulder and pushed my chest and I fell backwards . But as i did he still had his hand on the back of my head so i didn’t end up hurting my neck . It was surprising how kind and considerate Kuroo was being . Now that I think about it, everything he's done , although it’s seemed weird, he's done it because he cares about me . It’s weird to think that someone cares about me but there's nothing I can do to stop him. He's so determined to get what he wants that if I did refuse him he’d probably never give up .

Kuroo started laughing at my reaction . Then he moved a hand to the bottom of my t-shirt . Once he started to lift the material I slapped a hand down on his . I didn't want him to see the scar left from the accident . Even though I really wanted to continue what we were doing .

" What's up , we can go slow if you want "  I let out a short sharp breath and Kuroo began to kiss down my face to my neck . The look on his face told me that he was excited by this opportunity . Whereas I was nervous and it must have been obvious . When he began to nibble on my neck I bit my bottom lip in an attempt to stop myself from making a sound .  

All my memories from the moment that ruined my life came crashing back . Causing panic to spread across my face . The only thing I could think about was my parents death . Just the thought of losing them seemed to overload my senses . Wiched caused me to react without thinking

Everything was just too much so I pushed Kuroo off me and he fell off my bed . But as I began to stutter out a response , he sent me a  confused face . “ j...just l...leave “ With a shaky hand i pointed to the door . Not knowing what to say or do Kuroo just picked up his hoodie and his school bag then left .

Once I heard the front door click shut I quietly shut the door to my room . Then I clamped my hands around my head and took a deep breath before screaming . The loudest scream I've ever screamed . It was so loud that kuroo would probably be able to hear it from outside .

That night I ended up crying myself to sleep . But I didn't get much sleep because i couldn't stop thinking of Kuroo's face as he walked out the door . I even so felt guilty for what I had done to him .