It Was A Whole Thing | Herophine

Wildest Dream

Time is a tricky thing. It either feels like it's moving too slow or too fast. One moment you complain about a certain day to come faster and the next, when it's right there, you feel like it just snuck up on you and all the waiting and anticipation have passed and you're left wondering where the time went.

That's exactly how I feel right now.

Five years and four movies.

It's been a wild ride. From being unknown to rising in Hollywood. It still feels surreal. This has been my dream since I care to remember. An actress, known and loved by the world.

And now the franchise that has opened so many other opportunities for me is coming to an end. It feels as though it is an end of an era as I sit comfortably in the back of a Range Rover arranged by the production team while we slowly inch towards the premier of the last movie.

The crowd is loud and wild outside as if they surely know that I'm in this car. They're calling out my name and professing their love for me. It's sweet and funny at the same time. How could they love me when they barely even know me at all? I never share too much of myself in interviews and I've long since abandoned any part of social media since my rise to fame. That's why I don't get it but I'm grateful nonetheless.

My hands shake on top of my lap and my as the car comes to a snail-like crawl and the blinding lights from cameras start flashing outside. We're almost to the red carpet.

I'm nervous, so freaking nervous, but not about the movie coming out. I'm nervous about seeing him. It's been two years since I last saw him. Two years since I last touched him. Two years since I last kissed him. Two years since we promised to make it work. Two years since we broke that promise.

Bulgaria will always be that place for us. It's where we finally gave into all our pent up emotions over the three years of being just friends, just co-stars, just two professional actors starring in a few movies together.

We thought that after Bulgaria, we'd make it work. Our goodbye was bittersweet bit we were hopeful for a reunion soon once the pandemic eases in time for the press tour for After We Fell but the universe wasn't on our side. The pandemic was still persisting and the press tour was officially a no go.

At this point, our long distance relationship was already strained. We were both bitching about anything and everything and it was just... exhausting. I was where work was plentiful in LA and he couldn't leave London. We fought and made up and then fought until we just drifted apart eventually. There was no official breakup, no "it's not you, it's me", no "I think we need some space". We just stopped being.

I became busy with other work and so did he. I check up on what he's been doing every now and then but I never dared to call or chat him up again. It felt weird and I fought the urge because I didn't want to seem sticky. He's been seen around with random girls and I'm fine with that. It's not like I've been sitting here in LA and wallowing by myself either. Like I said, I've been busy and I've been meeting other people.

The pandemic is over now. People are back to their normal routines and the entertainment business is back in full blast. Hence, the grand Hollywood premier of After Ever Happy tonight. This is literally just the second real premier of this four-movie franchise. We're actually lucky to get a second one now that Corona is just a thing of the past.

Unlike the last three movies where the last opening day was in the US, the last movie will premier on the same day simultaneously all over the world. Virtual red carpets are set up in major cities in Europe and Latin America along with the LA premier tonight. I think it's brilliant though sad that I will never get to experience meeting the fans on the other side of the world again.