As the World Caves In

summertime sadness

Skye

     As I'm holding my mom's diary in my hands I smile because I'm reminded that she actually cared about us, she loved me. I wish I could tell her that I love her too and I'd thank her for trying to protect me. Maybe I can find some answers about why she did things the way she did or maybe some more information about our family in it. Her diary could be a way for me to connect to her again. I pull the book to my chest, close to my heart, as I'm hugging it pretending it's my mom. "Dad could I.. spend some of the summer vacation at Malfoy's?" I ask with a shakily voice. He looks at me longingly before giving an answer. "I'll have to talk to Lucius" he responds seriously not looking at me as he pours himself some more water. He takes a sip then stands up and comes to stand next to me then whispers "If you behave.." he warns me. And with that the father I know and detest is back. No more pretending or playing games, he's back to his normal self. The realization makes me gulp, I don't even dare to look at him. "Good night" he says and goes up the stairs. I wait for him to get in his bedroom then I let out a big sigh. "Can I tidy up Mistress or would you like anything else?" Norbey asks when he sees me with my face buried in my hands as I'm sunk in thoughts. "Nothing else, thank you" I respond softly. 

      I pluck up my courage and go up to my room, I lie down on my bed and check the coin if George has texted anything. Can I help?  I see written on the coin. I stop for a second to think about what my answer should be because I don't want him to come here and get in trouble. I wish you could I respond sadly. I put the galleon down on my bed side table and open my mom's journal. There are pictures of her from when she was my age she seemed happier back then. There are some logs about her meeting my dad: Tom helped me out with potions today he then asked me if I would like to go to Hogsmeade with him this weekend I said yes and immediately told Lily and Narcissa all about it. Lily and Narcissa? Did she mean Lily Potter and Narcissa Malfoy? Her bestfriends were Lily and Narcissa? I can't comprehend this. I turn the pages of the journal trying to find where she wrote about them. Okay here it is 6th year: I spent summer break at the Black's they still don't know that I'm really good friends with a gryffindor, Lily. They wouldn't understand unfortunately they're obsessed with purebloods and slytherins. Hmm okay makes sense, I think to myself. The Blacks really are obsessed, they look down on people who aren't purebloods. I keep turning the pages when I see something interesting. It's whole pages with just one sentence written on them over and over again: I can't do this, I don't want to do this. The scribbles look like some insane person wrote them but I know my mom isn't like that. I go back a couple pages hoping that I'd find an answer for why she was like that. Tom wants me to join the Dark Lord's army but I'm only 18 and I don't even know if I want that however I don't want to lose him. My father the great manipulator, she made my mom get the dark mark he must've threathened her by leaving her or something.. I close the journal it's been enough for one day.

     Days go by with only father and I at the house and of course he still hasn't answered my question about spendig a couple of weeks at Malfoy's. I wake up to my father's voice "SKYE! Get down here!" he yells. My eyes open wide when I hear him. I quickly get out of bed put on a robe and get down "Yes father?" I ask as I'm descending the staircase. "Who'd you like to invite to your celebration?" he asks as he stands over a table with his hands holding a piece of paper and a quill. "You really don't have to do this..." I respond shyly. "Nonsense darling! Now say the names" he demands. I don't answer because I don't want to put my friends in danger or for them to meet my dad. "ANSWER ME! he slaps his hand hard on the table as he yells at me which makes me flinch. It's weird that I was used to this but now him just yelling makes me wince. "I-I uhh.." I take a few steps back. "Didn't I tell you to behave?" he comes closer to me "I just want the best for you why can't you understand that?" he continues as he keeps coming towards me and I keep going backwards but I reach the beginning of the stairs and I fell. "Look at you pathetic!" he grabs his wand and crouches down to grab my chin and caresses my face "I missed you princess" he smiles at me as I tremble in fear not knowing what he's going to do. He stands back up and points his wand at me "I'm doing this for you" he smiles as he easily says "Crucio" I get ready for the worst because 'I'm out of practice' at this curse being used on me. But as I close my eyes and brace for the worst I don't feel anything. I open my eyes and see that a bright light is coming from the necklace Georgie gave me. It's some kind of protection spell I think. When it stops I see that my dad's laying on the floor. I stand up shaking and stutter "D-dad?" as I take a few steps closer to him but when he moves I hastily back out and almost fall again. "Skye" I hear him whisper angrily but weakly under his breath as he reaches for his wand. Fortunately I notice what he's trying to do so I run up the stairs, go into my room and close it behind me. I grab my wand although I now that if I use it I'll get expelled but I'd rather not go to school than die. Maybe the necklace with the little wand I got from George can protect me again but I can't risk my life on a theory. I push my dresser in front of my door so it's harder to get in. I grab the enchanted coin with my hands shaking and write S.O.S!  I hope that he sees in time for.. for what? Do I want him to come here and find my dead body? And what if he does come here before my dad gets up the stairs? If George takes me away I might blow my cover.. I delete the text and sit down on my bed and wait for what has to come. I hear my dad "SKYE" shouting furiously. I take a deep breath as a tear falls down my face but I keep my face serious . I hear my door knob moving rapidly. When it stops my door is breaken down by a spell my dad did. I turn my head away, protecting my face with my arms from the blast but in the next moment I feel him grabbing my arms and pushing me down to the floor. "Did you really think you could get away with that?" he laughs as I'm laying on the floor with my wand in my hand. "You wouldn't use that now would you princess?" he smiles at me and steps on my hand which makes me groan  and drop my wand. "Now, if you'd behave we wouldn't have to do this" he whispers gently and looks at me with piercing eyes.