As the World Caves In

loving you is a losing game

Draco

     Following our fight with Skye I immediately regretted it. Sometimes emotions can just be a lot for me. I haven't even told Skye about my parents who want me to become a death eater. I knew they'd say it one day but it happened sooner than I'd hoped for. I realize that they want the best for me but I'm not sure I'm ready. So I was just taking my anger and repressed emotions out on her and I know it was wrong. I can be jealous but even I can see that I've gone too far this time. I have to apologize to her. I can't lose her. I wouldn't survive that. I really need her.

      I'd never admit it to anyone but I broke down and cried after Skye ran away. I went looking for her but she wasn't in the dungeons or anywhere in the castle so Zabini and I convinced Umbridge that we should patrol Hogsmeade too so I could look for her. After all if she wasn't in Hogwarts she had to be in Hogsmeade but if she isn't going to be there either...No, I'm sure she's okay. We check out Zonko's Joke Shop, Dervish and Banges then Three Broomsticks. When I step foot in the pub I take a quick look around and see Skye with one of the Weasleys. I don't understand why she's friends with them. But the red head noticed me and he keeps looking over to me. I try reaching for my wand but when Skye moves then turns around she looks at me, Blaise stops me from drawing my wand. She and I look intensively at each other for a while but she quickly turns back to their table. I just get angrier and angrier so I storm out of there and go back to school. "Greaat girlfriend of yours" Blaise said to me cocky. "Shut up Zabini" I snap at him with this image in my head about Skye and some other guy being cozy.

Skye

       Next morning I wake up super early to sneak out and go back to the slytherin dungeons. Fortunately no one's awake yet so I go up to the girls' dorms and sleep some more before I talk to Dray. Sadly I can't sleep well because of the anxiousness that I feel from having to talk to him. After tossing and tumbling in bed for two hours I get up and go down to the common room. I don't sit down just pace up and down as I'm waiting for Draco to get up. Other people come down but they don't greet me, could be because they're Dray's friends and after yesterday they think that I'm the bad guy somehow, rumors get around quickly here. But after some time passes I see him coming down the stairs. "Hi Dray" I say to him while playing with the sleeves of George's sweater. "Hey Skye" he greets me then stops about two meters away from me, no physical contact between us at all. "Look... I'm really sorry about yesterday." Draco says as he looks down on the floor. "I didn't mean to do any of it... I just have some other stuff going on" he finally looks at me and his face shows confusion when he stares at my sweater for a long time. "You know you can have my pullover" he slightly hints that he's jealous. "Oh, yeah, I totally forgot about it.." I respond as I tug on the sleeves of George's sweatshirt. He steps closer to me which makes me take a step back. He notices that I'm uncomfortable with him being close so he says "Can we just talk somewhere more private?" I look around the dungeon and they already are a lot of people so it might not be a bad idea to have this chat elsewhere. I slowly nod my head. "Astronomy Tower?" Draco asks simply. "Sounds good" I answer and we go up to the tower to talk. We sit down at our usual spot and stay quiet for a while but I break the silence "So do you want to tell me about what happened yesterday?" I look at him but he's looking at the sky. "Well the short version is that I got jealous...I mean you run off to a Weasley the first second we're not together? I don't trust guys around you because you're so gorgeous and I want them to know you're mine, they can't steal you from me because..." he says hastily then stops for a second so I quickly burst out at him "But look at what you did to me Draco. LOOK AT IT!" I shove my bruises in his face. I can see him fighting his tears as he turns away. "Because I need you in my life, Skye! I... I-" he declares but has struggle saying something that's on his mind. "I know" I say softly when he looks at me. We don't talk for a minute bu then I say "I want you to know that if there's something going on you can tell me anything" I encourage him to tell me what's bothering him. "It's uhh... my parents." he starts. "They want me to become a death eater..." he says uneasy with his voice trembling. "I mean I know it'd happen I just didn't think it'd be this soon." I can see sadness in his eyes as he looks at me so to console him I put my hand on his which makes him smile a bit. "Oh Dray.. You could've just told me. I'm kind of an expert in your parents wanting you to join the Dark Lord's army. And you know I wouldn't let that happen to you" I caress his face lovingly. I take my hand off his face and go: "But you have to stop with keeping secrets and taking your anger out on me because that's not healthy." I state my terms to him.  "I can do that" he says and gets closer to me by softly grabbing the side of my neck trying to kiss me.  But I hiss and move back because of the pain. He then notices the pink-purple line on my neck "Oh Merlin's beard.. I did that didn't I? I-I... I'm so sorry" he says then turns away from me. "You know maybe.. We should take a break." I say softly. "Not breaking up just.." I try saying but my voice breaks just thinking about it. "I care about you Dray" I turn to him with tears in my eyes.

Draco

     When Skye said we should take a break my heart stopped beating. I can't even look at her, words aren't coming out of my mouth. "I care about you Dray" she says to me. I can't lose her I think to myself. So with a shaky voice I say "Skye.. please don't do this. I.. I can't. I need you" I look at her sobbing and she wraps her hands around me in no time. I feel so safe with her holding me. Why did I ever hurt her? I didn't mean to, intentionally I never would, I couldn't. She broke off the hug while saying "I'm sorry Draco" and with that she got up and left. I watch her walk out as she's wiping away her tears with that  Weasley's pullover. I just sit there in silence wondering about what I should do to get back on good terms with her. After all we're just taking a break. It's all going to be alright. Right?