A Song for the Devil

Needs

When I imagined Nobunaga returning to us it was all smiles, happy crying, embracing, kissing. Feverish kissing and clawing at each other like brand new lovers. I painted his lips hundreds of times, imagining their warmth and skill as they had been when he kissed me before. His eyes I painted joyous, passionate or proud.

When Hideyoshi and I embrace Nobunaga that faint smile turns into a pained scream before collapsing into our arms. Just a moment after his collapse the light begins to shake and slowly turn back into the white light of the moon and we sink into the water.

I swim close by as Hideyoshi swims and carries an unconscious and groaning Nobunaga to the shore. The air stings, cold, as I exit the waters just before them. Nobunaga is writhing a screaming when they exit the waters. Hideyoshi's face looks as frightened as I feel as we hurriedly wrap Nobunaga and ourselves up, instructing our scout to give us one of his layers as well in an attempt to keep Nobunaga warm. All I want is for him to be warm again and stay that way.

As we ride back to the inn near the hot springs my heart is simultaneously excited and crushed by the screaming and crying coming from Nobunaga as Hideyoshi holds him close on the back of the horse, hushing and trying to get Nobunaga to relax to no avail. I manage to barely keep up with the breakneck pace that Hideyoshi urges his horse on. "Do not hold back for me." I yell from his side, breaking my own heart a bit. "I can catch up if you can go faster." He nods as he urges the horse to speed up and soon all I can watch as the wails continues to spill from my first husband is Hideyoshi's slightly hunched back and the back of both of their heads as Nobunaga rests it on my second husband's shoulder.

When I arrive at the hot springs Hideyoshi has already dismounted and has Nobunaga cradled in his arms, shaking and crying with grit teeth against the other's chest. I've never seen him this— this pitiful.

Hideyoshi isn't slowing down for me as he enters the inn but his barking orders at the staff isn't difficult to follow, even when it wakes the baby nearby.

"Food. Bring food to the hot spring. I don't care that it's against your policies! I will compensate three times for the trouble! Just do it! Please!" He sounds panicked.

When I find him by the water of the hot spring he is trying to set Nobunaga on his feet only to find him unable to hold his own weight. Hideyoshi sounds terrified. "He's cold as death Rina. Help me get him into the water."

Hideyoshi holds him up while I remove the layers we had managed to get on him by the water, all the while he keeps groaning and recoiling at our touch. For a brief moment Hideyoshi and I make eye contact, and we find terrified hope in each other's glance.

It is him. His face, even while distorted in pain and agony, is his face. I would know this face anywhere after the months I spent painting it. His body is weakened, he has lost most of his mass since the last time we saw him. The scar from his brother and all of his other scars are still with him though. It is him.

I quickly remove my clothes and enter the water. As Hideyoshi carefully lowers Nobunaga into the water and into my arms he hisses and trembles in pain. He shivers and quakes in my arms as I wait for Hideyoshi to abruptly get into the water, shaking and moving us, evoking a load groan from Nobunaga. Hideyoshi settles on the other side of Nobunaga and whispers solemnly. "I'm sorry my love. I'll be more careful." There was a promise in his words.

Nobunaga continues shaking and whimpering in the water for what feels like an hour. When we try to feed him his mouth stays clenched shut, even when we ask gently, it's as if he can't really hear us through his pain.

After awhile of Hideyoshi and I remaining as still as we can as we support Nobunaga in the water he finally stops his writhing and is breathing somewhat steadier, a few shutters escape him every few breaths though. I speak quietly, careful to not disturb his rest. "He still feels so cold... and if we move at all he winces..."