A Song for the Devil

Impossible

I continued my dance lessons, still without singing. I even extended them in an attempt to avoid Nobunaga and it somewhat worked. After missing the second days request to visit in the garden due to lessons I was not asked to sit with him at dinner. I ate my dinner with my eyes lowered and tried to avoid any conversation. This worked for days that turned into a just shy of two weeks. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end.

My preferred dinner routine was interrupted by Masamune Date, the one eyed- dragon and a relentless flirt. He sat next to me, bring sake with him. "You look very lovely for such a sour little plum." He remarked after taking his seat. I didn't respond, just continued to eat.

"Have you noticed how he peers at you? It's almost impossible to have a real conversation with him when your in the room." He sipped at his sake with his sly and confident smile.

"Is there something I can assist you with Date?" I asked without looking at him.

He let out an amused laugh. "I'm just here to see if I can win a bet I made with Mitsuhide."

"What is the bet?" I asked hardly interested, just hoping it would get him to leave faster.

"I bet Mitsuhide that I could get you to crack a smile. Quit the risk really on my part though don't you think?" He faked a concerned look.

I met his one light blue eye with a blank stare and no words.

"I don't know if making you smile might get me killed. There's another bet on who might kill me if you crack." He looked over to Mitsuhide and lifted his cup and smiled before taking another sip.

"Who's bet it is?" I asked mildly interested.

"Ieyasu believes that Nobunaga will run me through if he isn't the first to put a smile back on your face." He looked back at me.

"And who else is a threat to the grate a Masamune Date?" I jested.

"Mitsuhide believes that if I get the ghost of Azuchi to smile the ghost herself will steal my last breath." There was a small smile now as he leaned his head back.

I could feel the smile threatening the corners of my mouth but fought it.

"Anyway. You seem quite content with keeping your smile concealed from us. I admire your commitment." Then the devilish smile crossed his expression. "Would you like me to run one of them through for you?" The playful mischief in his eyes was so evident.

I broke. The idea of him killing anyone of his comrades was so ridiculous I even felt a small chuckle bubble from my lips as I turned my face down.

"I win! Pay up cowards!" He shouted as he stood, which actually turned the chuckle into a small laugh.

When I looked up the room was still and all eyes were on me. I tried so hard to compose myself quickly but the way Masamune was gliding through the room was too ridiculous.

It wasn't until I landed on Nobunaga that I could bring myself to rest again. A soft happiness with a hint of sadness as he watched me settle back into eating quietly.

As he walked me back to my room that night he took us through the garden again. A pensive look on his face. "It was nice to hear you laugh again." He commented.

"It was nice to laugh." I stated blankly.

"I wish I had been the one to make you smile." His confession was so raw I stopped in my tracks.

He turned back to me. "Tomorrow evening is when I will accept your final answer— " he looked up at the sky to stare at the full moon that lit our paths. "I feel like I'm going to lose you again."

My heart was breaking watching him struggle with his confession. "I wish I could return to you." The words surprised me, not nearly as much as Nobunaga's movement towards me though. An even greater surprise, I didn't pull away when his fingers brushed against my cheek.

"Then do. I won't fail you again." His worried eyes framed with knit browns were melting my resistance.

"Nobunaga— I—" I didn't know what to say. How to tell him that my heart wanted to stay with him but my mind couldn't, especially now that I was most likely carrying that dragon's child.

"You think your with child." His words were warmer this time. I thought I was better at concealing my thoughts, get this one man reads me like a book. Am I that transparent to this man? Or can he read minds?

"Fairly confident that I am. I should have bled by now." My eyes were softer. Why? Why did I feel calm with him talking about this topic.

"How can I keep you if you are?" His hand was still resting on the side of my face. I grabbed his wrist and returned his hand to his side.

"Impossible." I said before continuing the walk.

We walked in silence until we reached my chambers. He stood in the doorway again as I entered. "You may enter." I said. Misayo was waiting for me and even she looked dumbfounded. "Would you please get us some tea Misayo?" She bowed and left in a hurry, looking entirely too hopeful. I gestured to the small table. "Pleas sit my lord."

We sat across from each other. A steady look of confusion on his face. "You truly don't see a way you can stay with me now do you?"

"Misayo says that perhaps the stress from readjusting to Azuchi is the cause of the delay. Tomorrow you get your final answer, that was your deal. If Misayo is correct and the signs that I am not pregnant arrive before my final answer I will stay." My voice was too political for his liking, I could tell by the wrinkle in the bridge of his nose.

"What if the signs appear or something happens to the pregnancy after your final answer?" He asked in a tone matching my own, as if we were discussing war and not life.

"Then I would have given my final answer already and we should have moved on to our next marriage arrangements." I appeared unshakeable despite the knot in my heart.

"I don't care if you carry his child. He didn't claim your heart or soul. So why are you keeping them from me?" He had cracked. The knot in his heart might rival my own.

"Why do you still want those things from me?" I was beginning to crack as well at the sight of him trying to fight for me.

Misayo was back with the tea and after she set it out Nobunaga dismissed her.

"Because you have mine." His words where just louder than a whisper before taking a drink.

"Then when I give you my answer I will be returning them to you. I don't deserve your heart and soul anyway." I would have taken a drink if it hadn't been for his cup slamming on the table.

"I thought I was the fool in this area. That's not how it works you foolish girl." there was a bitterness to his words I hadn't heard from him before.

I reached out my small porcelain hand and took his large war torn hands in mine. "I'm not a girl anymore. I'm a woman. And I know that's not how it works, but we will just have to make it work that way."

"Why are you doing this to us?" His head has dropped and I could hear the war to hold back his tears again.

My heart snapped as I realized my answer and my hand squeezed his tight enough for him to raise his head back up to me. "Because I love you."

We stayed like that, holding each other's hand across the table, for what felt like an hour. Eventually he turned my hand and brought my knuckles to his lips.

"You've made up your mind and I don't think I can debate you to a new conclusion. I'm not sure I want to—" he stood to leave with a pained look on his face. "Thank you—" his fists clenched again. "For loving me so much." He left and Misayo returned to find me collapsed on the table quietly sobbing.