Feathers Of A Bird

Chapter : Three (Part Two)

(Listen to the music while reading for a better experience!)

"Because-"

"Hmm? Say it!"

Ethan gets impatient.

I look at Grace. She's giggling at me, I try to tell her "OH MY GOD, GRACE!! HELP ME!!" with my eyes.
However, she didn't get it. Or she got it, but avoided it and pretended as if she were a little child! God knows what!

I finally say,
"Let's not talk about this, shall we?"

Ethan replies,
"Nope, not happening. You gotta say it! Right now!"

"Fine!"
I let a sigh out.
"I didn't like him... like that much, I guess. Everyone had a crush, so I thought why don't I find myself one as well? And so I did!"

I look at Ethan,
"Okay? While I was searching for a crush like mom searches for fresh vegetables in supermarkets, I found this extremely handsome guy."

Grace bursts out of laughter. I can't guess how bad her stomach will hurt...

Ethan facepalms.

And Fiona. She literally is giggling like a rabbit. She really is!

Ethan says,
"If you had found this extremely handsome guy, why did you reject him? Oh my God!!"

I hesitate for a moment.
"Because..."

"Yes?"

"Because I realized I didn't like him right at the moment he said he liked me..."

Ethan looks at me as if I said that I have murdered somebody.
"Holy Batman..."
He slowly says.

Grace starts laughing her soul again.
I can't blame her.
I myself am having difficulties to control my laughter as well.

Ethan gazes at me, now he's the one looking like a murderer.
"I swear, Kathy! Tell me the whole thing, or I won't be able to sleep tonight!"
Then he shouts,
"TELL ME!!"

Grace looks like she's gonna die!

"Oh my Goodness, Ethan! *Why are you shouting like Loki?"

*its a reference of the movie 'Thor'.

"Because you aren't telling me!!"

"Okay okay! Gosh! I liked someone else."

"Ooo!"
Now it looks like he's satisfied.
But actually he isn't, to be honest. He asks,
"Who was it? Huh? Who was the one you slapped you crush off for?"

I give him an annoyed look.
"Don't talk like I'm still a teenage girl. I'm almost in my 30s!

"Okay okay! Miss.Thomas, can you kindly tell me who this guy was by the grace of Almighty?

"Don't also talk like I'm a grandma."

Ethan makes a tired face.
"Tell me, Kathy. Who was the boy?"

"Okay, now it's good!
I smile.
"But I can't tell you. I'm genuinely sorry!"

Ethan says being disappointed,
"WHY? I'm curious to know!"

"But you told me to tell you when if I feel uncomfortable! I'm comfortable now, Mr. Williams!"

Ethan stammers,
"But... I didn't mean this..."

Fiona unexpectedly looks at her dad and asks,
"Then what did you mean, daddy?"

All of a sudden, a silence broke down.

Ethan and Grace both stare at me.
I smile weakly.

This was my fear. That something would make it obvious for me to think about it. To talk about it. About something that I've been avoiding for over a decade.

"Don't ask about it, Fiona."

Grace takes her on her laps.
"Kathy is uncomf-"

"No."

I stop her in the middle of her sentence.
"No, Grace. I'm tired of running from it. I'm really exhausted. I gotta face it. One day or another."

Grace stares at me.

I look at Fiona.

"I had a friend."

Fiona slowing says,
"Okay?"

"I had a friend who changed my life. Remember my speech on the day I got the booker?"

Fiona quickly says,
"Yes! I do, I do!"

I smile at her.
"He's the rain. He watered the seeds of my confidence, trust and loads of others. Who basically showed me that I was living a lie."

Grace slowly says,
"And who taught you that you should stay with your loved ones."

I smile weirdly and nod.
"He taught me that the fear I had, and still have though, shouldn't be in my heart."

Fiona asks,

"What fear?"

"Fear of being with others."

"Okay...?"

I stop for a second.
And I don't know from where I got this strength from, but I eventually say,
"His name was Ryan. Ryan Anderson."

I stop for a moment; and ultimately face it.
"I came here with him."

I look at Grace. Smile.
"It was our last trip together before he left me."

"I see..."
Fiona slowly says.
"Kithie?

"Hmm?"

"I wanna know about him."

"Okay, I will tell you."
I look at Grace and Ethan,
"Don't worry! I'm good! And Fiona!"

"Yes?"

"You wanna know from the beginning to the end?"

"Yes yes yes yes!!!"

I laugh.
"Okay, it started like this-"