raura one shots

I can't do this anymore...

So you guys probably thought this was an update.. But it's not. I'm really, highly, just I'm MAD and HURTING, okay? God, just.... ugh! Why are people so ignorant?! I want to scream and cry but I know I can't because  hear me. Just... ugh!!! This is crazy! I was watching my favorite youtube channel, Lush. (I'm a gaybie, sue me!) There were people in the comments, hating on Nick and Mat and I thought nothing of it. Because, people do it to R5. People do it to 5sauce. People do it to each other! So I thought it was a normal everyday thing. And then I saw this comment.

I hope you sinners burn in H***. God hates homosexuals and will kill them all.

This is something I see almost everyday. I heard it too. My uncle is a homophobe and he says crap to me like, "Why are you friends with gay people?" Or when we watch tv, two guys can kiss and he'll say, "Man they need to stop showing f****ts on tv." Like, wow! ARE YOU REALLY THAT IGNORANT?! I don't know, it hit me hard!

And it stung, a lot. I don't understand! I mean, probably because my friends are gay, or maybe just... UGH! And it's crazy because I see stuff like this everyday but today it made me cry.

And I had a good day today. I went to my friend's party, who has the same birthday as me, we both turned 13! The party even had a music theme! And then I got home and I saw that comment. Then because of that comment, there were suggestions, and me being curious, I clicked on one. And I didn't like what I saw.

It was the Ellen show, Ellen talking about how an 8th boy was killed by another eight grader because he was gay and asked the straight boy to be his valentine. Then the next video (the video was 2 hours long, had a bunch of clips) was Leelah Alcorn. And as we covered, I'm very upset about this. There's people calling Leelah a "f****ot." There's people called HIM a disgrace. Him?! Really?! Ugh! I just threw my phone on the bed and started to cry, and I have not one clue why.

The next few clips were WHAT WOULD YOU DO a show that puts people in different shituations. They have like 15 episodes or so on gay bashing. Do you guys know a lesbian was denied her wedding dress for marrying a woman? Do you know that two men were arrested in Alabama for pecking each other on the lips when a couple in front of them was full on making out? Do you know that gay couples are denied food from restaurants because they're gay? Do you know kids get bullied because their parents are gay. SO WHAT IF THEY HAVE 2 DADDIES OR 2 MOMMIES?! THEY HAVE SOMEONE!

Then I thought about my friend... who is gay. I told you guys about him in the Leelah Alcorn chapter I did. I thought about him because I thought, "Wow, they still treat gay people like this after all this time and it's like that's my friend. Like my little brother, I'm not gonna sit and let people bully him." Like, in this situation, the bad outshines the good.

There are very little people that stand up for gay rights and it makes me sick. And once again, I don't know why it hit me harder than usual. But it did.

And I feel like, with all that's going on in my life, and the world, I can't take it anymore. I just... I don't know, okay? I feel depressed. Like the weight of the world and all this stress is on my shoulders.

I just feel like I need someone to talk to.