Two Broken Hearts

Chapter thirty-nine

Maria's POV:

When I woke up first thing I did was took a long cold shower to get Matteo out of my head.

I got to my phone and saw that no mission is for today and I quickly gave the guys the day off.

I was sad that there wasn't any mission, I would love to see someone hurt today.

Then I remembered that I didn't train in a long time and wanted to go to the gym to get my skills improved.

Just as I was going downstairs I saw Matteo and Kelsey going out, probably to the warehouse.

"Kelsey!" I yelled.

She turned around and smiled her 'sweet girl' smile.

"Yeah?" She asked while putting a gun into the holster.

"Where are you going?" I asked her and took a glance at Matteo who was staring at me and my choice of clothing.

I was dressed for boxing, I had my boxing gloves in my hands.

"And where are you going?" Matteo asked from behind Kelsey.

I rolled my eyes: "I'm going to the gym. You must have one in your house?" I asked.

"Yeah, we do. Why are you going to the gym, tho?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"I need to practice. I have a lot of hard missions coming up. I didn't practice in a long time." I said.

"OK, then Kelsey you can go ahead and I will stay with Maria and help her train." He said and I chuckled.

"Woah! No one said I need your help. I've been doing this for years. I don't need anyone's help and I like to train alone. You can go ahead and go to... Wherever you're going." I said.

Matteo was left a little bit confused but I wasn't rude to him. I was saying the truth. I always trained alone.

Matteo nodded and went outside. I could also see Sarah in the car and she smiled at me and waved.

Uhh.. she can have him all for herself if she asks me. He is a dick!

I went downstairs to the gym and started practicing on my combat skills.

I didn't even notice it got dark outside and I was still going at the punching bag. It was hours ago since I came down here.

My trail of thoughts always goes everywhere and I lose track of time when I'm boxing.

I took of my gloves and felt that my mouth was really dry. I went over to my bottle of water and as I was drinking I felt someone's presence behind me.

I quickly turned around and I saw an amused Matteo just leaning on the door.

He was dressed in shorts and a white t-shirt.

"How long are you here?" I asked as I didn't notice him before.

"Actually a while. You didn't seem to notice. I think I need a new punching bag, you just punched the shit out of it." He smiled.

I shrugged: "I have a lot of emotions built up and I needed to get it out. I'm frustrated because of everything that happened back in Russia. Including my dad and... You know.. Adrian." I kind of whispered the last word. I didn't want to remember him even though I imagined his face instead of the punching bag.

He grinned: "That's actually why I'm here now." He said.

I furrowed my eyebrows: "I don't understand." I said.

"After we left for Russia I arranged for Adrian to be tortured and then killed." He said, anger in his eyes visibly seen.

"I wanted to be the one who took his life but I couldn't. Not in Russia, on their territory." He added.

"Really? He's.. dead?" I asked.

"Yup. Do you want to see the video?" He asked and held his phone up.

I thought about it and at first I wanted to say "yes, of course" but then I knew that, that wouldn't bring me closure.

"No." I said and my voice was stuck in my throat.

"He furrowed his eyebrows: "Why not?" He asked, coming closer to me.

"I... I don't know. I guess I know that if I really want to move on from that I need to forgive him and forget about it. I won't say he didn't deserve death and that I'm not glad... Because that would be a lie but... Don't we all deserve death and hell for what we're doing?" I asked, looking back at my life.

I didn't regret anything. It was just a little bit sad that this is what we became. For a long time I couldn't even look at myself in a mirror and not feeling the guilt of all the people I killed.

OK... They weren't innocent, that's true. All of those did something that lead to their death. But they did not deserve it. No one deserves it. After some time I learnt to deal with it. I would kill a person one day and the other day I would be perfectly fine and that's fucked up.

I always kept my body count. And that's fucked up too. I didn't count it for my own fucked up mind, but because when my life finally comes to an end I could remember each person and regret it. Until then... I keep it bottled up inside me.

Matteo was just looking at me and how I've gone into my own trail of deep thinking.

"I know what you mean. That's just how we are." He said like it's that simple.

And I knew he knew that it wasn't but I could guess that he nor I wanted to talk about that and be vulnerable.

People like us do not know how to be vulnerable.

"Karla... I didn't come here just for the video, I actually wanted to apologise." He said looking almost ashamed.

"For what?" I asked confused.

He came closer to me so I had to look up to see him.

"For yesterday. I said things and-"

I cut him off quickly: "It's not your fault if you don't feel the same. It's how life is. And it's fine." I said, blushing when I remembered that scene.

"No, you don't get it. I didn't mean it. I do have feelings for you, Karla. And those feelings never went away, I had them always. It was so hard to go away from you and leave you behind. But that's not the subject now. I know tomorrow is your birthday so please do me a favor and let me take you out." He said and I was left speechless.

1. I didn't expect him to say that.

2. It was a few sentences that I wanted to hear since I came here.

3. I TOTALLY FORGOT IT'S MY 17 BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!

"I don't really know what to say, Matteo. I forgot it was my birthday." I said chuckling to myself.

"Well.. I didn't. So... What do you say? Just you and me." He asked, smiling.

I rolled my eyes playfully: "I thought that you don't do dates and dating and everything about that?" I asked.

He looked away and shook his head while chuckling: "And you're right, I don't. But you are, after all, Karla Kalem. So don't stump on my pride because I am, after all, Matteo Konovalov and I am not ashamed to ask someone as beautiful as you, for the third time, out."

I smiled and shook my head: "Dobar si s riječima, Konovalov... Imaš sreće."
I said and went out of the gym and left him there while he grinned like an idiot that he is. (You're good with words, Konovalov... You're lucky.)

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