Two Broken Hearts

Chapter fifty-one

Karla's POV:

I didn't move. I didn't know how much time passed. Maybe minutes, seconds, hours... I don't know.

My father was breathing frantically.

I held my gun up quickly and my father stilled.

"If you kill me! He's over. If it is the last thing I do, I will kill him." He said as his eyes were big and looked like he didn't know what he was talking about.

My hand was shaking uncontrollably.
My gun wasn't stable.

My father put his hand on the trigger and fired.

I was about to shoot too but nothing came out of his gun... The gun wasn't loaded. I sighed loudly.

My father quickly threw the gun and took out a knife. He held it against Matteo's throat.

"What? You're going to shoot me? I'm still your father you know? I hope you do shoot me and you have that burden for the rest of your life." He said, spitting anger from his mouth.

"What about you? Do you have a burden from making me like this? For all those times I was tortured?" I asked, my eyes filling with tears.

My father grunted: "I wasn't in my right mind! But that doesn't mean I don't love you!" He said, desperately.

Maybe he really did love me. He's been thru a lot and that changed him so he didn't see what he was doing to his own family.

At this point I couldn't think about anything.

I was shaking. I wanted to shoot so badly but... Something was stopping me.

He's my father... My only alive parent.

I didn't know what to do. I looked up and saw Matteo. I couldn't read his expression but then I saw that my father wanted to kill him. He would be dead if the gun was loaded!

My father didn't care about me! How could I think that! I wanted to kill him since the day I know for myself.

The tears spilled on my cheeks and just as I was about to shoot someone behind me shot three gunshots.

Not at me and as I could see not at Matteo who was standing still. My father was on the floor, blood coming out.

My hand was still up with my gun in it but I was shaking like I saw a ghost. Finally the gun fell on the floor and my hand fell beside me.

I saw Marcus and Lucas coming towards Matteo who was still standing without saying a word.

What just happened?

Why did I wait so long, why didn't I shoot?

Matteo would be dead if it wasn't for Marcus and Lucas.

I failed everyone.

I don't know how long it passed when I looked up and saw Matteo looking straight at me. Marcus was asking him questions if he was OK, but he was staring at me.

My chest was moving rapidly up and down and I felt someone's hand on my back.

"Hey are you OK?" I turned and saw Kelsey looking at me worriedly.

I nodded my head, not able to say anything because my voice would definitely betray me.

"Most of the team is alive. I think two of them are dead and two are injured.
We did it! We did it Karla!" She said and smiled at me.

I couldn't smile back. I shook my head. Because I didn't do it... I didn't save him. They did all of it. I was a coward.

I looked down again and saw my father laying on the ground.

I wasn't sorry. That was the truth. I didn't feel anything towards him. I wasn't feeling compassion.

I was still standing there, even when Matteo, Marcus and Lucas went away to get him dressed and to treat his wounds.

I couldn't move. I was still so disappointed in myself.

After some time, Kelsey gave me the space alone and went away.

She said that she knows that I need to be alone and she will leave me.

I didn't say anything.

After some time I could feel the deep pain in my arm. Then I could feel my legs painfully pleading for me to sit down.

I took the gauze from my waist that I had packed with me and quickly put it around my wound, just so it doesn't get infected.

I sat down by the wall of the house and looked in the distance.

I was still there when the sun came up. I watched the sunrise there and watched my father being taken away by Matteo's men.

I didn't say anything when Kelsey came and asked me to eat something.

I was still sitting on the floor with my head on the wall. I closed my eyes and tried to get my mind and body to work again normally.

But how can I do that? I just left someone I considered most important person in my life... To die. Of course, he didn't die because they saved him.

But I didn't. I couldn't. In the most critical situation I left him completely alone and abandoned him.

I'm such a piece of trash! He saved me two times and even more times from myself and I left him alone.

How can I ever look at myself.

As I was lost in my thoughts of guilt, I didn't notice Matteo who sat down beside me.

I shook my head and looked at him. He was looking straight ahead in the woods.

I looked at the floor and he put his hand on my hand.

I glanced sideways at him and he sighed.

"Why are you out here almost two days?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"What happened out there? Are you OK?" He asked looking at me and his face full of concern.

My bottom lip quivered and he looked at me, his eyes softening.

My tears fell on my cheeks and then on the floor.

He gently moved them away with his thumb.

"Why are you crying? Can you tell me what's wrong? Are you sad for your father?" He asked, his face serious.

He asked me if I care about my father who kidnapped him and me, tortured both of us. He wasn't mad at me that I didn't do anything to save him.

I sobbed in his shirt and he just hugged me in silence. We got on the plane in silence as well and Matteo said he will wait until I'm ready to say what's wrong.

Nothing was wrong. I was stupid and I  believed that I didn't deserve him. He saved me numerous times and I just stood there like a statue.

When we finally landed I at least could feel the hunger in my stomach and the jet lag.

Matteo bought me take out and we went to the house.

As we got in, it was nice and quiet, nothing that I was used to. It was weird. Just 24 hours ago there were gun shots everywhere and we were fighting everyone and now we're home.

Kelsey, Marcus, Antonio and Lucas went away to give us privacy. Matteo told them to. I didn't want to. I still had nothing to say.

As I was going up to my room be blocked my path and took my hand to lead me to the couch.

He sat down and I had to sit beside him.

"Start talking." He said, nodding at me and I knew that I had to tell him what I felt.