this // narry au

67. did you forget?

biggest thank you to twilightniall for the cover she sent me two but we chose this one aND LOOK HOW ALIKE IT LOOKS TO THE REAL COVER LIKE IT'S FUCKING UNCANNY WHOA AND BTW HOW DO YOU GUYS FIND ALL THESE PICTURES OF NIALL WITH LILAC HAIR IM?? when i first started writing this story lilac niall was like barely a thing and it was really hard to find them

A/N: two of my best friends (who were secretly dating the whole time) came out to me as gay today and I'm just sooo :)))))) I'm so happy for them

MY BIRTHDAY IS JUNE 9TH YOU GUYS CONFUSED ME I LITERALLY SECOND GUESSED THE DAY I WAS BORN

because when I said I'm allowed back into the malls I was banned from (still not telling you what happened) I said I was allowed back the day after my birthday, which is June 10. And everybody confused me because you made me believe my birthday was on the tenth lol

ALSO GUYS I MAKE A LOT OF TYPOS LETS JUST ACCEPT THEM AND MOVE ON

TITLED AFTER MY FUCKING SONG DONT FORGET BY DEMI LOVATO IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THE CHAPTER BUT IM LISTENING TO IT SO WHAT CAN YOU DO

67 - Did You Forget? (DID YOU FORGET THAT I WAS EVEN ALIVE DID YOU REGRET EVER HOLDING MY HAND DONT FORGET, DONT FORGET, ABOUT US *EXTREME GUITAR SOLO AS DEMI SINGS IN THE RAIN*)

I couldn't tell you exactly how long me and Niall were standing there with him running a hand through my hair, whispering assuring nothings into my ear and not letting me out of his embrace but all I knew was when we started it was bright outside and when I finally let go of him (because he promised he wouldn't let go of me until I let go of him) the sun was already starting to set.

"Are you scared of me?" Is the first question Niall asks instantly.

I don't think I could ever bring myself into fearing Niall, he had his moments but overall he was the most amazing person I had ever met in my entire life-- Amazing wasn't even the word to describe Niall. That was an understatement.

He was a unfurnished diamond; perfectly imperfect, and sometimes the diamond cut you with it's sharp edges but at the end of the day the flaws and vulnerability within the diamond was what made it so beautiful (aren't I just John Green right now).

And he told me he wouldn't hurt me. (But he lies. Niall lies).

But there was always a part of me that thought if one day Niall got pushed too far, if he got too drunk, if he was too angry, he would hurt whoever he would hurt, regardless of who they were. And that's what truly scared me.

"No." I mumble.

"Are you lying?" Niall asks instantly, without skipping a beat and I shrug.

"Tell the truth, I won't me mad." Niall whispers.

"I don't know anymore." I murmur before finally looking up at him, "I don't know."

"Why are you sad? Can you tell me that?"

"I don't know, Niall."

"You have everything you ever need, Harry. Please tell me and I'll fix it. I just want you to be happy."

"That's the thing about depression, Niall. Your life could be perfect and you can be depressed. For no reason. You're just depressed for no reason. It's a mental illness, Niall."

"Why are you sad if everything is happy?"

"Asking a depressed person why they're sad is like asking somebody with asthma why they have trouble breathing, there's plenty of air in the room." I mumble. Niall was starting to sound like my school teachers and I didn't like it.