serendipity | w.yh

63 - Narration

H A N E U N

Kung kinakabahan ako nung kinausap ko si Yago, ngayon feeling ko lalabas na yung puso ko palabas sa puso ko. Lucas is probably on his way here.

I still have to think about this. I breath heavily and starred over the ceiling of my room. Mabuti nalang din at wala dito si Savannah, nakina Jaehyun oppa kasi ang gaga. In love na in love ang dalawa at hindi na mapag-hiwalay. I'm happy for them. I'm happy for my best friend. She deserves to be happy.

"Baby?" I snapped my head towards the direction of my door.

There, I saw Wong Yukhei. His hair was dishevelled and he got this tired look over his eyes. What's with him lately? He looked miserable for an unknown reason. May hindi ba ako nalalaman sa kanya?

I starred at him, not giving a smile or anything. I saw how he furrowed those brows of him as he slowly made his way towards me.

He sat beside me and my eyes were still glued over him. I tried to stare really hard, trying to remember every bit of his handsome face.

"Lucas..." I started. I smiled to keep myself from crying already.

Wala pa nga akong nasasabi eh. Ayoko munang umiyak dahil baka mahirapan ako mag-salita. Kahit pa sa loob loob ko ay gusto ko na sumabog. Halo halo na ang nararamdaman ko. I'm thrilled that finally I'm confessing to him, but sad because of course this could stain our friendship.

"What is it? You're making me nervous." his lips shaked a little as he ran his big hands over my back softly.

A tear fell from my eyes and I scoffed finding it pathetic. How can I be so weak when it comes to him? How come one person can be your strength and weakness at the same time?

I trailed my eyes from his face down to his arms down to the small space between us.

"Lucas, I have something to tell you." I tried to swallow the big lump over my throat.

"I'm all ears baby."

I gulped and looked back up to him. I pouted and then showed him a weak smile.

"I love you, Lucas. I'm in love with you." there was concrete silence after my pitiful confession.

All I can hear now is the loud beating of my heart hoping to be loved back. I looked at Lucas watching what will he react to what I said.

He didn't say anything and his face remained stern. He looked away from my eyes and that's when I realized I'm being rejected.

I chuckled as tears pooled over my eyes. Hindi pa naman niya ako nire-reject officially but it already sting so bad.

I shut my eyes and get annoyed that my tears continued on streaming down over my face. Stupid! You expected this right? You already know deep down that it's impossible for him to return your feelings!

You're doing this for yourself, Hani. You're doing this so you can move on from your hopeless love with your best friend. You're confessing not to be loved back but to move forward to another chapter of your love. Come on! Stop crying.

"Hani, I'm sorry." Lucas raised his hand ready to embrace me when I softly pushed him away.

I moved back and expanded the space between both of us. I laughed again trying to cover up the pain that I'm feeling. I bet it didn't work because it was overflowing and impossible to be covered.

"Alam ko naman, Lucas. I know who you love and I know my role in your life. You don't have to shove it to my face. Please, don't pity me." I said and smiled weakly.