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MY ONLY WISH donah
IN WHICH he only wishes he'll come back; angst
SONG my only wish - brittney spears
༄
the once comforting snow burned the pale of the boy's skin. a set of legs walking alone, the missing pair ghosting the trace of the lone's pant legs. the brunette's arm felt heavy around his side, no longer having a warm waist to pull into his body, no longer have a second set of warmth snuggle into his chest.
nothing really felt real anymore. it felt like the second the heart monitor stopped, his world did too. climbing out of bed, felt unobtainable. brushing his teeth, combing his hair, putting on clothes. it wasn't doable. but he had to do it anyways.
he had to push away the urge to lay in bed all day, time flying by as he could only summon up the mental stability to let his mind blank. he had to get up, he had to get ready, he had to pretend.
jonah hated the universe. he hated faith. if he heard one more stupid word about the everything happening for a reason he'd explode. fuck the universe. fuck reason. they took the only good thing about his life away from him.
it was cold outside. snowing, a little bit of hail landing in his mess of curls, but he didn't care. he couldn't. his new suit felt tight around his arms, tie choking him as he fruitlessly tugged at the black fabric. he didn't really know where he was going, the world blurred together as one the second he stumbled out of the funeral home, choked gasps escaping his lips as he felt surrounded, claustrophobic at the amount of heavy grief overwhelming his senses.
was this how daniel felt before he died?
did he feel trapped?
wasting away whilst everyone stood above him, whispering lies into his ears, mummering false hopes that he'd make it through this. alive?
well he didn't,
he died.
and it was no one's fault, but the universe'.
༄
"i don't want you to go, dani."
"i have to, bubby. i don't have a choice."
"b-but what about the surgery? they said it's a 30/70 percent survival rate."
"i don't want my life to be resting on the odds of 30/70, jo. i'm ready."
"i'm not."
jonah's larger body was pressed into the side of daniel's hospital bed. the blonde welcoming jonah's head to rest against his chest, the brunette merely hovering simply by wish, refusing to put the gentlest amount of weight on the boy as to not jar his fragile body.
