The Supreme and Me

Chapter Eight

The rest of the week was just spent with Willow crying on Zoe's shoulder after yet another day of Cordelia dodging her and not speaking to her. The pair had become quite close, it was the same routine every night, Willow would go up to her room after dinner and sit in there for about an hour and a half while the others talked downstairs, not anything to do with her as far as she was aware, just speaking about what had happened in the day and any news concerning the Coven. Cordelia was adamant that Willow should be down there to hear whatever news that was said, 'she is an equal member of this Coven' Cordelia would say to Zoe each day that she went up to join Willow, but Zoe promised to Cordelia that she would fill her in on whatever was said.

Cordelia missed Willow more than she could put into words, she felt as though Willow had completely disconnected herself from her and she just wished she never even started to separate herself in the first place. All she wanted to do was be cuddled up with Willow and snuggle under the duvet to watch some movies and just be in their little world. "Right," Cordelia said to herself as she brushed through her hair standing by the mirror in her room, "You can either lose that stunning woman in the room opposite you, and never forgive yourself for the awful pain you caused her, or you can march yourself in there and tell her everything and hope for the best because you Cordelia Goode," She said pointing to her reflection, "You will not let her go."

Willow was laying down on the wooden floor in her room, letting the cold flow through her back to make her feel a little more alive. The past week had been tough without Cordelia, but she was starting to accept that she wasn't coming back into her life and if she was being honest she was fine with that, Cordelia had made her decision to leave her alone and Willow had made her own decision to make sure she stays out of her life. The one thing Willow couldn't stand is when people came in and out of her life whenever they pleased, from her experience in junior high she found it very difficult to trust people, especially when they did that very thing. In Willow's eyes, Cordelia had proven herself to just be another person who came into her life and went back out when she pleased, and Willow did not want her if that's who she really was.

Suddenly a quiet knock came from Willow's door, the thin frame rattled slightly against it, Willow sighed and yelled "Come in!" To whoever was outside the door as she got up and sat on her bed. It was probably Zoe checking up on her to make sure she was ok for the night, or Maddison asking for some advice on a dumb boy or a makeup brush to borrow, the last person she expected it to be was Cordelia, her small figure hugged into the door frame as she opened it and lent against it. "Hey, can we talk?" She spoke looking down at her feet as she shuffled them around slightly, the tension in the air grew as Willow got up and started to make her way towards the older witch, "Why now? Why now are you choosing that this is a good time to talk Cordelia, I tried to talk to you so many times and you treated me like just another girl who went here, actually no, you treated me like an outsider, you stopped talking to me except when it suited you," Willow spat coldly and looked Cordelia straight in the eye, finally revealing all the pain and hurt she had caused the young witch over the past week, showing Cordelia how Willow's heart had been ripped up by her sudden change in interest and how she had been broken by it. "I am so sorry for any pain I caused you Willow, I just needed time to think about a few things, I needed some time, alone" Cordelia sighed as she tried to explain why she has away from her for so long, she stepped into the room and stood in the center, waiting for Willow to follow her, which she did.

"Cordelia I trusted you, you were the first person I actually thought gave a damn about me!" Willow raised her voice now, she was finally letting out everything that she had wanted to say to her. "You can trust me" Cordelia said, trying to reason with her. "No Cordelia, no I can't! You're just like the others, you think it's ok to pick and choose when you want to come into my life, you think you can just opt out without telling me anything for a week and expect me to be fine with it!" The young witch yelled again, tears forming in her eyes, "Willow darling please, just let me explain" Cordelia begged her as she put her hand on Willow's cheek, wiping away her tear, much like how Willow did to Cordelia the first night she stayed here. However this time Willow flinched at the now foreign touch of Cordelia's soft hands, fighting the urge to lean into her warm touch she moved backwards and sighed, she wanted to forgive Cordelia, she wanted to jump into her embrace and tell her how much she missed her and how much she wanted her to be hers, but she also remembered how much pain she had put her through, and how easily she could do it again if Willow let her.

"I'm sorry" Willow spoke quietly, "I'm sorry but I think you should just go, I think it's best if we just don't speak to each other unless we have to. I trusted you and cared about you and I thought you valued me in the same way I valued you Cordelia but it's clear to me now that you and I just can't be friends." Cordelia thought about protesting and demanding that Willow should listen to her but she knew it wouldn't help anything so she nodded and walked out of the room, taking one last look at Willow.

Locking the door behind her, Cordelia immediately collapsed onto her bed, tears flowed down her cheeks as she wept, her hand covering her mouth to muffle the sounds of her crying as she curled into a ball on her bed, her chest heavy with sobs. She saw the way Willow's face dropped as she came through the door, the way she spoke to Cordelia, how she spat out her words like she couldn't wait to get her out of the room. Cordelia knew she wouldn't get Willow back now, she knew she had ruined everything. Grabbing a pillow she screamed almost silently, she finally let out all the pain and regret she had felt, she let out all the suffering she felt, she just let everything out.

Willow on the other hand was so confused on what just happened, did she do the right thing? She knew she would regret this sooner or later, she knew she wanted Cordelia, needed Cordelia in her life. But how could she just move on after how she treated her? "Willow we need to talk right now" Nan said as she walked through the door, Zoe following close behind. "Umm hey girls, whats up?" Willow asked as she tried to figure out why the pair had just stormed into her room very unexpectedly. "You need to forgive Cordelia" Zoe exclaimed as she sat down on Willows bed, Nan sat on the other side. "What? Why the hell would I do that?" Willow laughed as she looked weirdly as the two, how did they know she didn't forgive Cordelia, it happened literally half an hour ago and she hadn't seen anyone since. "Because she is in there balling her eyes out" Nan sighed, "I don't hear anything" Willows shrugged, "Willow Nan's clairvoyant remember?" Zoe said. "Oh of course, sorry Nan I forgot." Willow said. "Yeah well all she's been thinking about is how much she messed up, Nan told me why she had been ignoring you.." Zoe hesitated, Willow signalled her to go on and Zoe snd Nan told her everything. They told her how she had been thinking about her for a while, and how she knew that she couldn't keep being her friend while she had this crush on her so she decided to distance herself from Willow for awhile, but the crush wouldn't go and Cordelia knew she had to tell her, so she tried just now but Willow pushed her away. "Oh my god" Willow whispered, her hand to her mouth as she gasped. Zoe and Nan left to give her some alone time. "I have to tell her my feelings for her" Willow stated, "I have to."