one sickle ~ f.w.

chapter 18

i'm freaking out, i haven't stopped thinking about it since he said those horrible words to me. i'm still in shock - how does he know? how did he find out? when did he find out? my mind is filled with questions. luckily it's saturday today, so i guess i don't have to see cedric for the next couple days at least - but i really i hope i haven't accidentally jinxed myself by saying that. 

i look over at the timepiece next to my bed, reading 10:00. i'm usually up by this time on the weekends, the twins are probably wondering where i am. oh my god, the twins. i haven't thought about them since fred left the hospital that afternoon - i hope it's not too awkward today. 

in a rush, i get out of bed and change out of my pajamas into a warm sweater and some ripped jeans. i guess i'm too busy being worried about everything else to notice that everyone else in my dorm is gone, and i'm the only one there. they must've all gone to hogsmeade already. i grab my wand and my bag, and rush down to the great hall for breakfast.

i immediately go to the gryffindor table, hoping to see fred and george, but my heart drops when they're not there sitting at the table. why aren't they there?  this is too much for me, i'm feeling too many emotions all at the same time - confused as to why i haven't seen fred and george at all this morning, scared because i don't want cedric to spread my secret, upset because i don't want my relationship with the twins to be ruined, and tired because i was up all night worrying.

tears flood down my cheeks as i leave the hall, running to my dorm. it's not even 11am yet, and this is already the worst day ever.  

as i arrive at the common room, i say the password to the portrait and i'm let in. i slump down on one of the chairs, confident that i won't be interrupted, and i cry for what feels like hours. i feel horrible, the worst i've felt in a while definitely. i was so naive at the start of the year, thinking everything would be so fun, and i wouldn't have any problems. i wish everything could be alright again.

-- fred's pov --

i wake up feeling disheartened and confused. how could cedric and y/n be dating? it just doesn't make sense - when did this even happen? she could've at least told me - i'm her best friend, for god's sake. it's been a while though, i hate to say it but the part of me that didn't fully believe it is slowly fading away.

"come on, freddie!" george bellows from across the room. "it's saturday today, we get to go to hogsmeade!" he gets out of his bed and comes to sit by mine. "look, i know you're not feeling the best, but there's no point in lying in bed for the whole day and wasting a day at hogsmeade. it'll cheer you up, i promise." he tries to pull me out, but struggles. this cheers me up a little, so i make it even harder for him. "ow- ugh- bloody hell, fred, did you put on some weight over christmas?" i hit him lightly in return.

we get up eventually, and i feel a lot better. 

"what's the time?" i ask, as we walk out of our dorm. "maybe we should visit y/n's room."

george looks behind him, through the crack in the doorway. "it's 9:40, but are you sure you wanna go there?"

"right, yeah. would it really be that bad though?"

"think about it. you don't want your morning to be ruined by cedric and her giving you a hard time, do you? he's probably dying to go to hogsmeade with her - which means wherever y/n is, there's a good chance he'll be there too." he tells me.

"okay yeah. let's just go and have breakfast."

breakfast is probably the only good part of my day so far, hogwarts meals are always delicious. 

we finish after about 15 minutes, and we're both full up and ready to go, but i'm still feeling a bit iffy about y/n. as we clear our plates with a simple spell, i ask george about it, just in case he's changed his mind too.

"hey- uh- do you still not want to go to y/n's room? maybe we should, just to see how she is."

he looks at me guiltily. "look, mate, i understand how you feel - i really do - but i just think it would be best if we didn't go. you can if you want, but i won't come. your decision."

"okay, i'm sorry. let's go."

"don't be."

***

as we walk around the snow-covered streets, going past each shop and peering inside, it feels weird without y/n - i wish she was here, to laugh with us and complain about how cold it is. it almost gives me a sense of what my life would be like without her - of course, i would still have george, but it would still be drastically different. i don't enjoy it.

most of the shops have taken their holiday decorations down, but the few that still have theirs up stand out from the rest - i guess some of them didn't really want christmas to be over yet. 

"oi fred! why don't we go to honeydukes? we're running out of pepper imps, actually." george says. he looks so excited - honeydukes has always been his favourite shop, ever since we visited for the first time. "we should probably get something for y/n too, since she's not here with us. so do you wanna go?"

"yeah alright, sure." i try my best to look as excited as him, but i know he can tell i'm still not completely okay.

***

"that was so fun! don't tell me you're not even a little better now, you can't deny that that was one of our best hogsmeade trips ever!" george says excitedly, as we walk through the castle, making our way to the common room.

"yeah it was really fun, and i do feel a bit better."

"see! i told yo-"

"would've been better if y/n was here though."

"of course it would've been." he pauses for a moment, before continuing, "actually, you know what, i know she's been on your mind today, and i know i haven't let you see her, but..."

i'm hopeful - for the first time today i feel genuine happiness. 

"... maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you saw her for a bit, talked to her maybe." he smiles.

i run up the moving stairs to the common room, not caring about the dangers that may come with it. "caput draconis." i say to the portrait, and sensing my excitement, i'm let in almost immediately. 

as soon as i step in, i see y/n almost asleep on the couch next to the fireplace. she doesn't notice me straight away, but when she does, she jerks up from her position and looks at me with a kind of confused expression on her face. i walk over and sit down next to her. 

"fred..." she starts, before her expression suddenly changes. she sits up, and continues- "oh my god, i'm so so sorry- i can explain-"

"shhh, it's alright. i understand." i take her hand in mine, to help her calm down. her breathing becomes slower, and she looks like she feels a bit better. "you need some sleep. come on, let's go to your dorm."

hesitantly, she gets up and i walk her to the dorm. "have a good night."

"you too." i watch as she unenthusiastically treads up the stairs, until i can't see her anymore.

 ***

a/n

hi! i'm sorry that this chapter is so bad LMAO but at least it's longer :) oh also i know i didn't mention this but y/n got dismissed from the hospital, however her arm is still not fully better.

sorry this took so long to upload btw

have a good day!

-dasha <3