Lust and Wrath

Chapter 6

Scott's Point of View-

What I did was wrong. What I did was terribly wrong, and I can't believe I even did it. What kind of fucked up human being am I? That kid had nothing to do with this, nothing at all, I'm positive, and yet I went and fucking raped him.

The lust was hitting me full on, I had little control over myself. For his sake at least, I managed to slip on a condom before I started, before any fucked up shit would happen as a result. This is only going to make my sad reputation at this school grow, and I could care less.

He had nothing to do with this, what's in the past is in the past. The innocent look on his face was so heartbreaking, but I couldn't help myself to stop. When he called me a jerk before, something snapped in me, and before I knew it, I found myself punching him flat on the cheek like a bitch. I feel so bad for what I did, and I want to go make it up to him and apologize, but I can't. He wouldn't understand.

I slided myself into my carseat, and drove my way home. My home is pretty far from here, since the busses don't come where I live. I drove alone, car hood up. The sky was still in the early afternoons, although this time didn't seen appropriate from another point of view, maybe a cold, rainy midnight would have been more appropriate.

...

Soon later, I arrive at my house, and stop my car in the driveway next to my Dad's truck. I look across the street to see some stupid guy's rental car sitting in their own driveway, in some cheap-ass house. I roll my eyes, and then walk inside my house. Dad is sitting at the table, "How was school, son?" He has no idea what I did, clueless idiot.

"School was fine, Dad," I slip off my boots, and walk into my room, shutting my door behind me. I can hear him sigh from the other side, but I don't care. I don't like him at all. He is the reason my life is so fucking miserable, and I hate him for it. He can go die for all I care. I don't bother taking off my clothes, because I'm about to go out soon anyways.

I lay on my bed for a few minutes, reading my Facebook for a while, until I decide I'm ready. I slip on my coat, and head out my room. "Where are you going, son? Don't you know what time it is?" I look outside, and then check my phone and see that it's early evening. I could care less, he still treats me like a fucking kid, even though I'm able to take care of myself.

"I'll be back later," I said sternly, making sure he doesn't ask me any more questions before I beat the crap out of him. I go outside, and hop into my car. It's cold as expected, so I turn the hood over, and drive out the driveway, and on the path to my destination.

...

In just a few minutes, I arrive outside of Dunkin' Donuts. I step inside, and meet the lady at the register. She smiles, and I can't help but give a little smile back. "Hi sir, what can I get you?"

"One lemon-filled donut, and one glazed donut, please."

She goes behind and grabs the donut and stuffs them into a paper bag, then puts it on the counter. "That will be $6, please," she said, while I slipped out my wallet and handed her the money. She gave me cash back, and said, "Thank you!"

I walked towards one of the indoor tables, and sit down. I take out the napkins and spread them out, and place both donuts side by side on the napkins, me facing both of them.

He always loved the lemon-filled donuts, we would always go out, and he would buy nothing but these donuts, and I would just buy glazed because I don't give a crap.

And to be honest, I wasn't exactly sure why he liked them. All I know now is that this is the only thing that I can remember about him. This would be my first time eating his favorite donut. I picked up the lemon-filled donut, and bit on it. It was soft, like a glazed donut, but on the inside, it was so sweet.

It tasted so much better than this old junk I used to buy. I bit into the donut more and more like a glutton, while I could feel the lady at the cash register giving me a weird look, but I didn't care. This was delicious, and I can't believe I never tried it before. I looked down at my last donut, the old-fashioned glazed donuts. These were the first donuts I ever tried as a kid, and I honestly didn't want to try anything else because I thought these were the best and only the best.

I really need to learn to let go, I can't hold onto lost memories forever. I wrap the napkins on the glazed donut, and throw it in the trash, along with the bag and everything. While doing so, I can feel myself crying. I don't cry often, but I just needed to refresh him in my heart. He's gone now, which doesn't make anything better, making my life worse than shit.

Everyday for me, it hurts to breathe, it hurts to live. I've been trying to forget him, to start a new life, but I simply don't think I can exist without him...