Lust and Wrath

Chapter 8

Scott's Point of View-

Fuck.

I literally thought I said I'd buy him whatever, give him whatever, even pay him to leave me alone, and he doesn't. This little shit just couldn't leave me alone, he had to go and embarass me more. Although I couldn't blame him for getting caught in my mess, and getting raped by me, he should have just left matters alone.

I swear, I am about halfway close to shouting through the whole entire building, but I don't. "Fuck you, Daniel," I blurt out.

He backs away in shock, still staring at my arm that I didn't react to. "W-What happened to your wrist.. And you arm?" He asks.

There is no need to drag him into this. I want to tell somebody, I want to tell somebody about my life and how much it's hurting me right now, but this isn't the way to go about it. Not the way he's going. "I said," I say calmly, "Leave me alone!", I shout, darting up from my seat. Mr. Horen turns around and looks at me, but doesn't say a word.

Daniel remains sitting on the chair, looking at me horrified. "I'm sorry for what I did to you, Daniel! But just leave me alone! You wouldn't- Nobody would understand if I told them what I'm going through right now. Nobody! Go ahead and tell everyone that i'm some anti-social freak who cuts himself! Go ahead!"

I'm literally in tears now as I feel one slide past my nose, but I can't hold back the anger anymore. He needs to know when to stop. I grab my paper that I was working on to try to recover my lost credits for Algebra, but who gives a crap now. I crumple it up and throw it in the trashcan, not caring that I missed. The bell suddenly rings, but the teacher still says nothing. I storm out of the room without another word, just as I bump into some blonde kid. He looks at me with paranoia, and I don't even bother to look at him before continuing on my way out.

...

I hated what I did yesterday. I hated it so much that I felt the need to punish myself. Although cutting wasn't as bad as taking that innocent kid's virginity away, it was the least I could do besides blowing my brains out with a gun or something. This is the second time in the year that I've been at this school that it's happened, but he is the only one who still persisted to talk to me. Frankly, I don't give a crap anymore if he saw the cuts. Good, he can go tell everyone, and I can be even more isolated than I am right now.

I storm through the hallway past the kids who are moving to their classes, I am so pissed right now, I just want to hurt somebody. Hurting is not the way to solve problems though, I learned that lesson a long time ago. I would've decided to go to Science class, but fuck that, I need my space right now. I exited out the same door that I dragged Daniel out when I was for sure nobody was looking. I stepped down the stairs, and went into the private locked bathroom on the side of the school.

I locked myself inside, making sure nobody was there, and then I waited for the bell to ring. A few minutes later, it did ring, which meant I could finally have my peace and quiet. I pushed my back against the wall, and slid down to the floor. My face is probably a mess right now, soaked with tears, but I don't care. The only reason Daniel could have pulled down my sleeves was to make me feel like a bigger jackass than I already am.

I slip out my pocket-knife from my left pocket, and hover it over my wrist.

He's been making my life feel like shit ever since I left him. The cutting only started the week after I got to this shitty school. I just feel the need to cut again, it's my only effective relief for the trauma I'm going through, other than taking it out on somebody else.

My pocket knife goes down to my wrist, and I quickly slide it downwards.

I welcome the pain. I welcome the new cut that joins the other cuts on my worthless skin. What I did was bad, and I have to punish myself for it. I tried apologizing to Daniel, but he won't seem to leave me alone. Hopefully after my little rage back there, he'll leave me alone once and for all.

Blood trickles down my wrist slowly, and I could care less. I've done this about a dozen times and it never changes. All the cares in the world start to fade away. I give myself away to my fatigue, believing I can let all the pain go away by resting the whole school day.