Lust and Wrath

Chapter 13

What did I do?

I don't understand what I did to him, other than what happened in the past. It's already night outside right now, which means I should be getting ready for bed, but I'm not.

I want to text Daniel back, and ask him what I did, but I'm afraid of what he'll say. Whatever I did to him, he hates me now, and he isn't going to help me anymore. I don't want to sound desperate, but I've been needing someone in my life for the past few years, and he's the only one who has ever gotten close enough to make me feel weak.

I slam my fist on my wall, in anger. Tears begin falling down my cheeks, as I'm traumatized by a mix of anger and sobbing. I finally man up, and text him back, "What are you talking about? What did I do?"

I'm completely confused, and I don't know what's going on, so I need clarification. After a few minutes, I still see that he hasn't texted back, so I'm really depressed now. The first person who has ever wanted to help me, is gone now. None of this would've ever happened if I hadn't met him before.

After my dad said that he'd broke up with me, I knew love was just a lie. Love was nothing more than a stupid disease that makes you weak; a pitiful, and pathetic creature wanting for someone to care about them. And afterwards, before I could even get the chance to see him again, we immediately left that city. He wouldn't answer any of my texts, or my calls after that, so I thought he had blocked me. I can't even bear to say his name anymore, it brings too much pain to even think about it.

I wanted to cut myself, but something nudged me to not do so. Something wasn't right here, something was wrong, and I needed to fix it. I slipped into my PJs, flicked off my lamp, and went to bed. Tomorrow at school, I'd hope I'd get to see him again, so we could resolve this face to face.

...

I actually woke up early this time, and I'm just about to step out my house to the car. I open my room's door to exit, and I see my dad in the kitchen, reading the newspaper. He looks up at me, with a stern face. He begins walking towards me, and stands right in front of me. What the hell does he want? He better not fuck with me today, I'm so not in the mood.

"Son, we really need to talk about this," he said. No, we really don't. You screwed up the last chance I had in my life, and that's final. As soon as I finish highschool, I'm moving out of this shithole.

"No, we don't," I talked back. He knew I was a social outcast with no friends, so this is his way of trying to solve matters with me in order to talk, and hang out as father 'n son with me. Nope, not happening. "Please, just let me explain. You don't know anything," he said.

What don't I know already? He fucked up my last chance at trying to restore happiness in my life, and that's pretty much it. I rolled my eyes, and walked past him towards the door, outside into my car. I'll admit, it feels awkward not talking to your only parent at home, but I think I have a good reason not to, the heartless bastard he is. I hop in my car, and go out the driveway, towards school.

...

I finally stop by school, 1st period is about to begin soon, so I have almost no time to waste. I take out the keys, and hop out of my car, walking towards the front. People give me awkward stares as I rush towards the building, but who gives a crap about them. Inside the building, almost nobody is around. Everybody usually hangs outside, but I've seen Daniel staying in here a couple of times. I peek into all my classes, but I can't find him anywhere. This means he's probably somewhere at his locker, or outside, I don't know.

I check the lockers first, I don't know what number he is, but I find it out once I find him standing at a locker near the cafeteria. He doesn't see me at first, I'm standing a few meters away from him, and he's deep into his locker sorting shit out or whatever. This is the first time I'm coming to him, not something I'd expect of myself.

I walk slowly towards him, and tap his shoulder. He jumps back in surprise, and looks behind his back. I see his face, he has a band-aid on his nose, and several areas on it are pinker than usual, which isn't good. His confused expression quickly fades out to a blank. Crap, he's obviously still mad at me. "What the hell is wrong with you," he shouts., above his voice.

I step back a little, by the tone of his voice. What could I have possibly done to him now? Is he still mad about the whole raping thing? I thought he had put that behind him. I'm beyond confused right now.

His eyes narrow at my confused expression, and he shakes his head. "You're a real ass, you know."

People are starting to come out of the hallways to look, and so do the others as well. I'm nervous, but I'm being forced to hear what he has to say.

"Yes, you took something away from me that I can't ever fucking get back, and to be honest, I could care less about the situation. I would've ratted you out before, but I didn't. You know why? Because I'm not completely cold-hearted, and I saw that there was some good in you, and that you weren't just some random sex-craved homosexual. I thought you weren't completely bad, but no, after what you've done, after I tried to fucking help you, you go and pin your stupid cronies on me for messing with you. You're fucking insane, and you have some serious problems. I don't give a crap about any of your problems anymore, you can just go back to being some weirdo without any friends."

He storms past me, bumping into my shoulders. If my heart was broken now, then It's beyond repair, because what he said caused me so much pain right now. I don't know what he's talking about, hiring some cronies to pick on him, is that why his face is in such bad condition? I don't even know anymore.

"What are you talking about, I didn't do anything to you!" I said a little shaken, my head turned back to look at him. Everyone was staring at the both of us, speechless, and he stopped in his tracks.

"Go to hell, Scott," he said. He looked back at me, straight into my eyes. These weren't the eyes of the innocent kid I met a few days ago, no, these eyes were filled with fury. Whatever happened to him pissed him off, I knew I shouldn't have dragged him into my life, it's so full of shit.

"Consider it one last act of kindness that I"m not going to rat you out for what you did before, you scum."

His words are beyond hurtful, they're emotionally blowing my brains out. I wanted to run away, hide, and scream. I wanted to let out my anger by hurting somebody, I wanted to let out my anger by raping somebody else. I can't even stand to listen to my own thoughts anymore. I already know that hurting somebody is not the answer, it never is, and raping people is just a inhibitor that fills me with lust, and temporarily takes away all the wrath.

Daniel had stormed down the hallway, and out of sight now. I look around at everyone, and they're still staring at me. I could feel tears coming down my cheeks, which wasn't good. The bell then rings, and then all the people rush away, acting as if they saw nothing. Oh, they saw something alright, they saw it with fucking front-row tickets.

The hallway of lockers I stood in were clear, surprisingly, except for only one person leaning against a locker, like a bitch. She had her eyes focused on me, and I had mine focused on hers. She gave a delighted smirk my way, and that's when everything started to piece together. It's all her fucking slutty-ass fault. She wasn't lying when she said she wanted him, but I never knew she would go to such extremes.

It's all fucking Brianna's fault.