poems

Monster

when is a monster not a monster?
when you love it
she says


while we're sitting on my bed putting up posters of her favorite band
and the skies are turning a darker shade of blue
and I want to ask her if she can stay over
but nothing comes out.

My mother told me good girls keep the door open an inch,
and I look at her hand
and it looks like it wants so desperately to be held in mine,
but
good girls always sit a few feet away,
and I want to be good so bad.

they say if we look away from each other for a while
we can find something better to talk about than to melt
into each other's arms
and let the pain and the burdens melt away too.


they say it's wrong to rest my head against her shoulder
and still want to be closer
they say this isn't love
it's rebellion
unnatural
they say it because they think they know
but every time her fingers reach for me,
I want to pull her close and never let go.


they say good girls leave their love locked away
and never let it out
and I want to be good so bad.


when is a monster not a monster?
when you love it
and she's holding my hand and smiling
telling me I'm beautiful
and I can't help but peer over the corner,
to make sure no one can see.


I have to be a good girl
when is a monster not a monster?
I ask
and only silence waits
and she's holding an ice pack to the black eye I got coming home last night.


she's crying and telling me I'm beautiful
and it's confusing really,
I don't feel like a monster when I'm with her.
when is a monster not a monster?
when they love you
she says


and we're saying goodbye,
because she says it was just a phase
we have the door open an inch
but I'm inching closer
and she's telling me to stop
but I just need to touch her
one last time


she says I'm a bad girl for giving another girl my heart
she says we are wrong
but it feels so right
I know she's wrong.

maybe I don't want to be good anymore

when is a monster not a monster?
when you love it
my mother says

but I've loved her every day,
and a monster is all you've ever said she is

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(A/N) This poem was partly inspired by the photo above, and the story of Melania Geymonat and her girlfriend, Chris.