✓ QUIXOTIC | L. PARTRIDGE

Voices • Louis

resquested by @blackroseboulevard (go send them love)

TW: READER GOES THROUGH SELF HARM AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE.

AGAIN: TRIGGER WARNING

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE.

if anyone needs to talk, about anything at all, please know that i'm here for you ❤️

———

3rd POV

Y/n sprints to her room from the rathe of her parents, tears burning her eyes as she finally makes it to the room down the hall and locks the door, sliding down the hard wood door.

She jolts up as her parents start banging on the door and yelling profanities and curses to her, making her break down more.

By the time they left, their voices still lingered in her head, slowly tearing her apart.

She wished Louis was here, and not away filming. She wished she could
be in his arms because he made her feel safe in a house that wasn't.

Loud sobs escape her mouth as she gives in, the voices in her head guiding her movements.

In slow movements she enters her bathroom and rummages through her cabinets. She finds exactly what she's looking for exactly where she left it last.

Her blade.

She silently cries as she looks at it, her reflection showing her tear streaked face and all the imperfections that lie on her skin.

She closes her eyes and looks away before guiding the knife down to her skin.

(a/n: guys i'm literally crying while writing this)

The first contact it has with the scarred flesh upon her arms sting just a little, but after a few more cuts, she's immune.

The voices keep coming, telling her negative words that beat her down.

You're such a sl*t!

Go to hell.

You don't deserve to be here.

No one could ever love you. Look at yoursef!

(guys please please please don't take this to heart. you guys are beautiful amazing queens and deserve the world💕)

She cuts more into her skin, hoping that if she gives in, gives the voices what they want, maybe they'll leave. Maybe the pain will go away.

But anything hurts less than voices constantly telling you you're not good enough.

As the blood runs down her arm, her tears fall faster.

The blade clatters to the floor as she sees the mess she's made and sighs. She first cleans her arms and then the blood on the floor, erasing any trace of what she might've done.

She catches look of herself in the mirror and she can't look for more than a second.

With a heavy head, she pulls on sweatpants and a hoodie before balling up in her sheets and crying herself to sleep.

— The Next Morning —

Y/n wakes up before her alarms and reluctantly gets out of bed.

She goes over to her floor length mirror and stares at her reflection. She takes a deep breath before rolling up her sleeve.

She stares at her arm, unable to look away.

Every time she cuts, she is always mesmerized and horrified by the scars left the morning after.

Her fingers trace the delicate skin, until she hears a light thud from the doorway.

— Two Hours Earlier —

Louis gets out of the airport and carries his luggage down to the parking lot where his uber is waiting to drive him to Y/n's house.

He immediately smiles at the thought of seeing her and surprising her after being away.

The facetimes aren't enough sometimes.

He hops in the uber and they start the two hour drive to Y/n's.

When they finally enter her city, Louis stops them for some McDonalds breakfast since it is early.

He pays and exits the car when they get to Y/n's house, his excitement overwhelming him. He doesn't see any cars in the driveway, and when he knocks, no one open the door.

He enters quietly in case Y/n is still asleep, but he knows her parents always start work in the early mornings.

He goes to her bedroom with the breakfast him and as when he opens the door, he sees Y/n standing in front of the window.

He drops the bags of food as he sees her arms.

She turns to see him with watery eyes as she fills with horror.

He saw.

She tries to cover her arms but Louis quickly walks over to her and rolls up her sleeve, Y/n looking down with shame. "Why?" He croaks, his voice thick with tears.

Y/n bites her lip to try to stop the tears, but they're already here.

"My parents." She whispers. He looks up to her face and breaks even more when he sees the pain on her features. "They yell and berate me and I can't take the voices." She cries. "I'm sorry i'm such a mess and not some perfect girl. I'm sorry." He looks up and tries to stop her from talking, to tell her that she's perfect in his eyes, but she quiets him. "I understand if you want to break up or something because there are so many other girls who aren't broken that could make you happy. I—"

"Y/n." He says, tilting her chin to meet his eyes. "I want you. You make me happy. The fact that I didn't know kills me inside because it hurts me to see you sad. I want to be there for you always, I would never ever think of leaving you, especially when you need me most." He looks back down to her arm and kisses it, placing his lips upon every scar.

When he comes back up and presses his lips to hers, she hugs him tightly, making his shirt damp. Louis holds her tightly and silently makes a promise to himself.

He's going to make sure Y/n gets better. He's going to stay with her every step of the way.

Theyre going to do this together.