Hidden Behind the Stars (Celestial Series #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I kept on fidgeting with my fingers, biting them sometimes. Ilang minuto na rin akong nakatulala sa screen ng cellphone ko. I am scared. Paano kung hindi niya na ako tanggapin? Paano kung galit siya sa akin matapos ang nangyari? Paano kung nagtampo siya dahil sa ginawa ko?

"Walang mangyayari kung ganiyan ka buong araw."

Napanguso ako. "Sabi ko nga."

Pinindot ko na ang contact number niya at ang tawag. It rang. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang kaba ko. Ang dami kong naiisip.

"Hello, Cassiebabe?"

Tears pooled in my eyes. "Em?"

I heard her sighed on the opposite line. "Took you so long to finally call me."

"I'm sorry." I broke down. I sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Ano ka ba? You don't have to say sorry to me." Halata ang pagpa-panic sa boses niya nang marinig na akong umiiyak. "Cass, don't cry. Why are you crying?"

Zayn left me alone in my room. Actually, it has been our routine. Ilang buwan na akong naghahanap ng lakas ng loob na tawagan si Emerald matapos ang nangyari. I always ended up being a coward. Now is the first time I got the courage to face what I left behind.

"Do you feel bad for what you did to me for years?" Hindi ako nakapagsalita. "If that's what's bothering you, free yourself from the burden. I totally understand you, babe."

Lalo akong napaiyak. Somehow, it reminded me of our past and slapped me with the reality that things cannot go back to the way it was before. I thought I was ready. Guess three years were not enough to fully heal the wound in my heart. May parte pa rin kung saan masasaktan ako kahit pa hindi ko gustuhin.

Emerald listened to me crying for minutes. She hushed me and kept on saying how she wished she was here to comfort me. Ilang minuto rin bago ako tuluyang tumahan. Suot-suot pa ang damit na pantulog ay ibinagsak ko ang aking katawan sa kama. My eyes started to feel heavy. Parang gusto kong matulog.

"How did you know it was me?" tanong ko sa kanya sa pagod na boses. "Nakakatampo ka. Ilang taon... ilang taon kang walang tawag sa akin. Kahit 'hi' o 'hello' wala. You did not even greet me on my birthdays. You did not check on how I was doing... if I was still alive because maybe, I already killed myself. Hindi man lang ba 'yon pumasok sa utak mo, Em? Wala na ba talaga akong halaga sa 'yo?"

I became a cry baby again. Kaunting masakit na isipin lang, iiyak na. Why do I love hurting myself?

"Sus, ang drama." Natigilan ako. It offended me. Kung ano-ano na agad ang naisip ko. I hope she does not mean to invalidate my pain. I was about to speak when her words halted me. "Akala mo hindi ko alam na nagka-club ka gabi-gabi? Nakalimutan ang birthday daw. Baka gusto mo bawiin ko mga pinapadala ko d'yang regalo?"

Napatingin ako sa cabinet kung saan nakapatong ang kahon ng mga regalo na natanggap ko nitong nagdaang mga taon. Puro walang nakalagay na pangalan. "Galing sa 'yo 'to?"

"Obviously. Kakasabi ko lang," sarkastiko niyang sagot. "We may not talk to each other like we used to do before, but I always check up on you, babe, and I did not bother you yet. Alam ko kasing nasa maayos ka namang kalagayan. People there take care of you. Ngayon mo nararanasan ang mga hindi mo naranasan dati. That's why I didn't show my face. I wanted you to forget about what happened. Baka kung nand'yan ako ay lalo kang mahirapang mag-move on dahil baka ipaalala ko lang ang mga nangyari."