The Art of Moving On ♡ Yoongi ff

Can I watch?

A few days passed, aside from when she was in my class, I avoided Amelia like the plague. I hardly acknowledged her when she would smile, wave, or try to spark up a conversation. 

I felt bad.

But I needed to distance myself, the guilt that I felt for what I had done was eating me alive. Emily is my wife, she's the love of my life, the only woman I was meant to spend my life with. How could I think of touching someone else? And especially a student? Granted, she is my age. But it's still inappropriate on every level. 

I got out of the shower and slid my sweatpants and a shirt on before going down to the kitchen to make myself something to eat, a knock at the door made me groan as I realized it was probably Amelia. I opened the door and was shocked to find Hoseok standing there with two six packs 

"Drinks?" 

"Oh hell yeah" I chuckled as I let him into the house "where's Jimin?"

"He went out with Jin and Namjoon for a bit so I figured I'd come over" 

"You hungry? I was just about to make myself something to eat"

"I'm always hungry" he chuckled as he sat down and opened a beer, we talked as I cooked us up some food, I sat across from him with a beer as we started eating, I sat back in my chair and crossed one leg over the other 

"Hobi..can I ask you a question?"

"Of course" he shrugged as he put his
fork down and gave me his full attention 

"If anything were to ever happen to Jimin..could you see yourself eventually moving on and maybe dating or fucking someone else?" 

He raised his eyebrows as he thought it over 

"Honestly, it would take a while" he nodded "but yeah, I would. I know that Jimin would want me to be happy, he wouldn't want me to deprive myself of happiness whether it was a temporary fling, one night stand, or even remarried" he shrugged "I'd want him to do the same thing. Hell, I'd hope he gets dicked down quick" he laughed, making me crack a smile "Yoongi, I know it's been hard. I have no idea how you feel, but how you've gone three years by yourself is beyond me" he shook his head "people aren't meant to be alone all of the time. We crave intimacy, even in little ways like hugs and hand holding. If you want to date or fuck, I say go for it because I don't think this is what Emily would have wanted you to do" 

"It isn't, I know it isn't. I promised her I wouldn't be this way" 

"Maybe you need to make good on your promise then" 

"I jerked off thinking about someone else for the first time since she died and I felt so guilty I cried about it for two days. Like just imagining fucking someone else made me feel like I cheated on her and she isn't even here anymore" I shook my head 

"my husband is here and I still jerk off thinking about other people" 

"Seriously?"

"You have no idea how many times you've topped me" he joked making me laugh my ass off as he laughed until he couldn't breathe 
"Jesus christ Hobi" I shook my head and chuckled 

"In all seriousness though Yoongs..it isn't bad to move on. You can move on with someone else and still keep her alive in your heart and mind. No one is going to judge you or look at you differently because you're with someone that isn't Emily. You deserve happiness, especially after tormenting yourself and living in your own hell for so long. If anything you at least deserve to get your dick wet" 
I nodded at his words as I sipped my beer 

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, I nodded and sat my beer down "was it Amelia?"

I nodded and nibbled on my bottom lip "she's hugged me before, but the other night I helped her out with her car and she jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around me, I didn't think it would effect me the way that it did, it was purely innocent but the way she felt against me was just..not enough" I shook my head 

"Do you think she's interested?"

I shook my head "no, I doubt it. We call ourselves misery buddies because her fiance Jason died almost three years ago, we have a lot in common when it comes to that stuff, I was the first person that she's had in her house since he died, and she's the one that's been helping me since I got out of the hospital. I think we both just needed a friend that understands how it feels to lose the love of your life. But she's still in love with Jason as much as I am with Emily" 

"But if you're thinking about her, there's a chance she's thinking about you too" 

"Maybe, but if that's the case what if she feels guilty about it too?" 

"Then I guess you'll both have some pretty epic arm wrestling competitions after bulking up your right arm" 

I laughed and shook my head at him, his phone rang and he answered it, he put it on speaker
"Hey baby"
"Hey love, I'm on my way home now" 
"Okay, I'm at Yoongi's, I'll be home soon" 
"Nice, what are you guys up to?"
"Fucking"
"Fuck yes! Can I watch?"
"You guys are fucked up" I laughed as I shook my head 
"I didn't know I was on speaker" he laughed his ass off as Hoseok chuckled and shook his head 
"I'll be home soon" Hoseok smiled
"Okay, I love you, I love you too Yoongi hyung!"
"I love you too Jimin!" I smiled
"Love you baby, see you soon" he ended the call and sat back in his chair 

"If I weren't straight, I would totally fuck you guys" 

"Pssh, I know" he smirked making me laugh 

"How are you so cocky?" 

"Have you seen me and my husband?" He raised an eyebrow "perfection" he kissed his fingers making me laugh 

"You're ridiculous" I shook my head 

"Duh? Isn't that why you're my best friend?" 

"I guess" I nodded and laughed 

"Seriously though Yoongs, don't beat yourself up for being human. You followed through with all of your vows, and now it's time to focus on you. Moving on doesn't mean leaving her behind" he shook his head "she can still walk beside you while you find who you are now and what you need and want as you move forward" 

I nodded as my eyes watered "that's a good point" my voice shook "I didn't think of it that way" 

"That's what I'm here for, inappropriate jokes, and wisdom" 

Once he left I finished eating and did the dishes, I took the extra six pack he left behind and slid my shoes on before walking down to the bridge, I found Amelia sitting there with a few empty bottles and tears running down her face 
"Hey" I said softly, she jumped and wiped the tears from her face before smiling widely 
"Hey" 

I sat beside her and put the six pack down, I picked up one of her bottles of soju and opened it 
"Sure, help yourself" she mocked as she giggled making me laugh 
"Don't mind if I do" 

"So what's up?" I asked as I stared up at the sky, we had been sitting in silence for a few minutes and even though it wasn't uncomfortable I still felt the need to talk 

"Not much, just figured I'd come have a few drinks" 

"Makes sense"

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked as she turned to face me
"No why?"

"Oh.. I just.. I felt like you were treating me differently all of a sudden, I guess it was in my head" 

"It wasn't in your head" I shook my head "I'm sorry, I just needed a minute to get my head on straight. I didn't mean to push you away" 

"That's okay" she nodded "I get that" she punched my shoulder "just tell me next time you dick" she laughed making me laugh with her and nod my head 
"Yes ma'am" 

We went back to talking and drinking before I walked her home and went to my house. I curled up in our bed and let out a sigh, I took her picture in my hands and smiled 

"I love you. I'm trying to find myself and I wish you were here with me.. I guess in some ways you are. I think I'm ready to try and put myself out there again and be me again" I kissed the cold glass of the frame and sighed before putting her picture back on the end table "I'll never replace you Emmy, you know that. But if I find someone I can be happy with, I'll accept them. And I know you will too, good night my love"