The Art of Moving On ♡ Yoongi ff

Emily

"Why" I asked as I woke up and stretched, I looked over at her picture and sighed "of all the memories..just..why that one?" 

I hated that day. 
Forever burned in my mind. 

The day my wife hated herself. 

She thought she was hideous, there was no talking her down, no amount of reassurance would make her see herself differently. The way I always saw her, even at her worst, she was beautiful. 

I got out of bed and made coffee, I pulled down the blue mug and made myself a cup before sitting down at the table, I traced my thumb over the handle as I sat there in silence. I looked towards the living room and pictured the broken mirror, the chair that she had thrown at it, the blood on the carpet. 

I could see her screaming at me to leave. 

Telling me to let her go and walk out of the house so she could die alone. 

"I don't want to do this anymore! I hate it! I hate myself! I hate you! If you weren't here I could just fucking die!" 

"Let me die...please" she sobbed "just let me die...I..I can't do this anymore.." 

"I'm only here because you won't let me go" 

She began hitting me, punching my chest, slapping my face, I stood there and took it all. Nothing hurt as much as watching her fall apart. 

"You want me to let you go? Just give up? Stop trying?"

"Yes! I want this to stop" she sobbed "I-I don't want the chemo, the radiation, the pills, the doctors, I want to go peacefully" 

"Fine. Do whatever you want Emily. If you want to stop treatment, I'll support you. I'll take care of you. You do know this will only speed up the process, correct?"

"I know" she nodded "I'm so sorry" 

I shook my head "I-I need to go" 

"Yoongi, wait! Please!" 

I slammed the door and left. 

"Think about it from her point of view Yoongs..she's dying either way. If she wants to go feeling more like herself than she does now, she deserves that" 

"You think I don't know that Hoseok? I want her to be comfortable, I want her to be happy and healthy..I'm just not ready to lose her" 

"You already have" he shook his head "let her stop the treatments, let her give up the pills, let her live the rest of her life the way she wants to, you'll get her back before she dies" he wiped a tear from his face 

"Em?" I called out as I walked into the house, she didn't answer me, I walked up to our room and found her sleeping on the bed
"I'm so sorry Emmy.." I whispered as I kissed her cheek, she felt ice cold.

"She took all of her sleeping pills"

"Her stomach has been pumped"

"She'll wake up eventually" 

"She'll be on suicide watch" 

"Yoongi?" She mumbled 

"Oh thank god" I sobbed "What were you thinking Emily? For the love of god, you scared the fuck out of me! We'll stop all of the treatments, I promise. I'll do whatever you want..just please don't scare me like this again. I shouldn't have left" I sobbed into her shirt as I climbed up into the hospital bed with her "it's all my fault. I'm selfish, I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have yelled at you, I should have listened to you"  

"Yoongi listen to me. It isn't your fault" 

I was thankfully pulled out of that crushing memory by my phone ringing

"Hey Hobi" 
"Yoongs! How fast can you get here?"
"I have a date tonight, why what's up?" 
"Bring her with you then. I need you to meet your niece" 
"My what?" My eyes widened
"Yes!!! We just picked her up and Oh my god Yoongi I'm a dad!" 
"Holy fucking shit! I'll be right there!" 

I called Amelia and told her what happened, she rushed over to my house while I threw some clothes on, before I left my room I grabbed something that I felt like my niece should have. 

We took my car to their house, Amelia followed me in and smiled at everyone gathered in the living room around a small baby girl being held by Jimin, Hoseok had his arm around his husband's waist as they watched her sleep 

"She's beautiful" I smiled

"This is your niece" Hobi smiled wide 

"Also.. I hope you don't mind.." Jimin said as he teared up "we named her Emily" my heart ached in the best way as the tears formed in my eyes 

"Beautiful" I smiled

I walked over to the beautiful baby girl that just made my two best friends parents, with my wife's namesake, and pulled out the rainbow knitted hat Jimin had made for my wife, I placed it on my niece's head and kissed her cheek while Jimin cried even harder and hugged me making sure he didn't crush his daughter between our bodies.

Change is a beautiful thing. 

I smiled as I held my niece in my arms, wearing my wife's favorite hat, and I had never felt more content in my entire life. 

Emily would have loved Emily. 

Before she got sick, she had offered to surrogate for them. 

I didn't mind if the first baby to make home in her womb would be that of my two closest friends, they deserved it. 

When she got sick, she hated that she couldn't give them what we knew they wanted and deserved. She cried as Hoseok held her and reassured her that it was okay. 

"Your womb is probably too small to hold all of the perfection that would be inside anyway" he joked, making her smile "plus.. I can try to knock up Yoongi, you wouldn't mind right?" 
"Not at all, he's all yours" she laughed through her tears while he held her tight against his chest 
"I love you Em"
"I love you too Hobi" 

"I love you Em" I smiled as I kissed her pudgy little cheek, she yawned and showed off her gums making me melt, Amelia came up behind me and smiled down at her 

"She's so pretty" 

"Of course she is, she's my niece" I chuckled 

"Have you met my husband and I?" Jimin asked as he nudged her playfully 

"Perfection" I said over dramatically mimicking Hoseok