My other half

13. So how long it takes the forever?

"Decide which is more important: your pride and get nothing or to take risks and maybe winning everything."

Again, a couple of months have passed in this increasingly gripping situation. We have been secretly together for over half a year. Our closest friends, the BGT's judges, and our driver already knew about us and were happy for us without exception. But we both felt we couldn't do what we used to do for long. Not only because we were less and less able to calm our conscience, but because we loved each other better day by day, and it was becoming more and more unbearable, that we need to keep secret from everyone. But mostly at home. We met more and more, we got home more and more many times later than usual, and it was only our luck that neither Anne Marie nor Ali doubted that we would spend our time with each other. And that's exactly why they didn't even think of anything bad, and we took advantage of it cheekily. Plus a few hours of absence after filming interviews, stolen kisses disguised as a protracted meeting in the bathroom of an office building. That's what our lives were made of. And although I was the happiest swindler in the world at the time, the question of how long we could do this, became more and more acute in my head. So how long can that certain "forever" last between us?

On a warm summer day, we were just walking with Dec in a city park. Now unfortunately not hand in hand, just like Ant and Dec, but at least we were two. I felt the time had come for us to talk about this seriously, and I hoped my love would agree with me. Though we seemed to walk like two friends, we always fell silent when someone walked past us, as we wouldn't have tied it to anyone's nose that what we were talking about.

"I think the time is coming when we really need to step towards each other" I said seriously as Dec nodded in agreement.

"I know, you're right. I'm thinking about this more and more. Now already no longer a question for me what I have to do and whether it is worth it, whatever I have to endure for it" Dec assured. I've heard, that it was never an issue, he just wants to dispel his fears by saying it out loud to me.

"You know you'll never be alone with this, do you? I mean, of course, I know you got into a tougher situation, with a formal divorce, and that you have to move away from your daughter, but I'm here and I promise everything will be fine. I will never leave you with anything" I put my arm around his shoulder, smiling.

"I know" Dec sighed sadly.

"Have you ever wondered how you're going to tell Ali that?"

"I'm not doing anything else. And meanwhile, with all my nerves, I hope he has known for a long time, or at least guessed, and then she hugs me and wishes me a lot of happiness, and with a smile she will divorce me, because the truth has finally been revealed" Dec laughed painfully.

"I too hope for something similar about Anne Marie" I shared the joke. The joke was that somewhere inside I was really hoped for that.

"You make my life harder" Dec said once.

"What do you mean?" I let go of his shoulder and looked at him in surprise.

"The hardest decisions of my 46 years can all be connected to you. The first was when in 1991 I chose a secure career instead of you. The second was when we became a couple behind everyone. And the third is that I stand up in front of the world, that I cheated on my wife with you" Dec listed, but meanwhile he smiled.

"But I promise that the biggest happiness of our 46 years will await us, when we finally get over it."

"I'm sure" Dec agreed.

"In fact, you don't even have to tell, that you cheated on Ali with me. When people find out about this, you will no longer be married. We can also say that you divorced, because you fell in love with me and we only came together after that" I pondered.