My other half

9. Love at the second sight

„Sometimes we have to be alone, just to miss someone and fall in love with him again."

When we were informed of the filming dates for I'm a Celeb, we so arranged our plans with Dec, that we would have a break afterwards. Honestly, I didn't know if I should have been happy about this now or not. Because that's how I knew, Dec have time to think a little, but I was getting more and more nervous that he wasn't write or called me. On the other hand, I tried to comfort myself by saying that he certainly didn't let go this, because then the next day he would have behaved as if nothing had happened, to make us forget as soon as possible. The days went by, I felt worse and worse, yet I didn't know what to do. For such a long time, we have never severed contact with each other in more than 30 years.

I had been home for about a week without communicating with anyone except Anne Marie, even with her just because she lived with me. I was just watching a replay of a football match on TV, when my phone buzzed next to me.

"When do we have to go on Tuesday?" Dec wrote without any smileys. In the hustle and bustle of my thoughts, I forgot that two days later we were formal for a small meeting.

"1 in the afternoon :)" I replied a degree more kindly. This distance it was very strange from Dec, that was felt even through the described letters. Suddenly, I also questioned if he felt any lack because of me at all.

"OK, thanks! :)" Came the answer.

I didn't calm down. Would I have ruined everything so much that we're only going to talk if we have to? David's words came to mind again. "Just give him some time." But how long? I can't live that Dec isn't always with me like a shadow. In recent days, I've been a little surprised at how empty and lost I'm without him. No problem, it's only 2 days, then we have to meet anyway, and until then I can only stand it...

On that particular Tuesday, I woke up with a clenched stomach again. I didn't even know what to expect from this day, but I was very happy that Dec would have to meet me today. Squeezing my hands, I sat in the back seat toward the Dec's house, and Joe noticed, too.

"Is everything okay, Ant?" He asked, looking in the rearview mirror as he stopped at a red light.

"Of course, I'm just... nervous" I'm actually was.

"Everything is going to go great, I'm sure. And Dec is always there with you, you two can handle everything together"Joe replied theatrically to throw me up, and though not as he planned, really helped a little.

"I hope so" I answered with a smile.

When we arrived in front of the garden gate, Dec had just stepped out the front door. He walked firmly to the car and then sat down next to me. He didn't look sad or angry.

"Hi, Dec!" I greeted him with a heartfelt smile, because whatever happened last week, it felt really good, that he is next to me again.

"Hi, Ant!" Dec answered, also with a kind smile, then nailed his gaze at the window.

I couldn't decide what to think. Dec looked happy. Is that good news now or not? He is happy because he changed his mind, or did he realize that he don't want to sacrifice anything for me, and he is happy that everything stays the same? I hated that I didn't have a chance to ask him that, as Joe would have heard all our words. So rather, I watched the rushing houses in silence as I almost felt the warm air, which coming out of Dec, and to which all my cells wanted to cuddle. After a few minutes of quiet travel, I felt a soft touch on my left hand resting in the seat by the time suddenly I looked there. Dec, still smiling in silence, turned my hand around, put a folded note in the palm of my hand, like in the movies, folded my fingers, then turned back toward the window. Yet what the hell is going on? I glanced ahead to see if Joe was still just watching the lamp, then I slowly unfolded the handwritten paper.