My other half

14. What we need doing

„In times of crisis, we have to decide again and again who we love."

I have already lost some women. There was a girlfriend among them, there was a wife among them. And now I was about to get rid of one. I felt bad because I actually she deserved better. But I have been stifling the desire too long, that, be with me who should. With Dec, we set a late summer day for the day of change. We wanted to get over it at the same time so that we could support each other afterwards, as it wouldn't be easy for any of us, no matter how they react. Now I cursed myself a bit for we being such good actors, as this news will hit them completely unexpectedly. Maybe it wasn't just acting, we really loved them. But today the day has come for us to choose, and for the first time in our lives we have now finally chosen each other. I woke up early, my nervous stomach not letting me sleep. I sat in the kitchen with a mug of coffee and tried to rethink many times what I would say to Anne Marie to I hurt her as little as possible, but I was afraid there was no way to do that now. I wanted to arrange right in the morning not to force her one more night here if she wanted to go right away, and that's likely. It was Saturday, none of us had anything to do, so my girlfriend walked down the stairs slowly when she woke up too.

"Good morning, how long have you been awake?" She asked as he poured herself a mug of coffee.

"For a while" I replied briefly. I gathered the strength to get started.

"All right?" She sat across from me.

"Listen, we need to talk" I took a deep breath.

"All right, I'm listening to you."

"I don't want to saving myself, because in a sense there is no excuse for what we did. But you need to know that whatever I say now, is not your fault and is not against you, I swear."

Anne Marie could have guessed what it was going to be because the smile on her face disappeared, her eyes narrowed suspiciously, as if she already knew the story. Yet she probably expected everything but not what she would hear.

" „We did?" Which of your pretty colleagues twisted your head?" She asked with stifled anger.

"... Dec" I admitted.

"WHAT?! What do you mean?! Dec is married! He has a family! He is your best friend! And..." She couldn't go on, and I couldn't look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry. I never thought this would ever happen. Honestly."

She just looked at me for a few seconds, then in front of herself, she was unable to speak, what I understood.

"This ... this...Jesus! The sad thing is that I was stupid, that I had no idea, even though I should have guessed from the beginning. You have never been to each other like two friends, but I accepted because I knew you, and if I wanted to, I couldn't have stood between you either. The many loving glances, as you kept touching each other when you had to, when you didn't. The air has always sparkled between you. But I never in my dreams would have thought you would really cheat on me with him once! How long has it been? Have you been with him ever since, as with me? Or even longer time ago? Actually you cheated on him with me?!" She became outraged.

"No! We have only been together for half a year ago."

"FOR A HALF YEAR AGO?! For half a year you so have been lying down next to me at night, kissing me, and came home here while behind everyone's back you are together with your best friend?!" She stood up from her chair and started walking in the kitchen, burying her face in the palm of his hand "How did I not notice this?"

"Don't blame yourself, we made sure, that no one knows. And as close as we have been so far, it has been even easier. You did nothing wrong, this is just our fault. I didn't want to replace you, I just fell in love again with him and this time I couldn't stop it anymore. I could ask you not to be angry, but it would be unnecessary. Be angry, I am angry with myself too, because we never wanted to hurt you. We just realized that we belonged together, and we had just kept this a secret from ourselves for quite some time" I said honestly and calmly.