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incorrect quotes

just random stuff I found online :)

bucky: yeah the history books know about steve's asthma and everything but they don't know about his worst illness

sam: what's that

bucky: it's called dumbass disease

steve[in the background]: no I don't need a parachute

bucky: it's incurable

peter: why does everybody hate mr. loki, I think he is c o o l

tony: he tried to kill everyone

peter:*stabbing tony with a plastic spoon* I just tried to kill you, do you hate me now?

tony: kid I-

peter: d i s c r i m i n a t i o n

tony: KID HE TRIED TO KILL US MULTIPLE TIMES!

peter: *stabbing everyone repeatedly while he cries* he deserves to be loved mr. stark

tony: kid-

loki: *whilst being stabbed by peter* let him finish  

peter:*gets a hold of the infinity gauntlet*

steve: use it! use it to kill thanos!

peter: but i don't know how snap my fingers!

steve: YOU DON'T- doesn't matter! just close your fist or something.

any recognisable gesture would do!

tony: wait, don't-

peter: *dabs*

peter: happy birthday mr. whitewolf sir

bucky: thanks kid

peter: when we get out of the soul stone I'll buy you a cupcake okay?

bucky:[tearing up] yeah sure if that's what you wanna do, you don't have to kid. it's totally your call

peter:[is hugging loki tightly as he cries]

loki: w-what is wrong with the child??

tony: he read a fanfiction where you killed yourself

loki:

peter:

loki:[wraps his arms around peter softly]

peter: pssst, mr. loki

loki: what?

peter: i made this friendship bracelet for you!!

loki: you know, I'm not really a jewellery person

peter: oh. well you don't have to wear it-

loki: no I'm going to wear it forever, back off

thor: [holds his hand out for Mjolnir]

steve, hurtling at top speed through the air, screaming: ASK IF I'M HOLDING IT FIRST!

steve: oh, and here is my award for most direct orders ignored

bucky: that's not an award. that is an angry letter from the US government

steve, putting it on the fridge: well it says most, so I'm calling it an award

[the winter soldier: court hearing]

judge: do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

bucky: no

jury:

judge, whispering: what do we do now?

nat: what am I allergic to?

clint: pine nuts

also clint: and the whole spectrum of human emotions

[power goes out]

bucky: it's so dark

peter: don't worry mr. Barnes, i've got this

[stomps feet]

[sketchers light up]

[steve and bucky wedding]

steve: bucky barnes, your my best friend, my first and only love and i want to spend the rest of my life with you

bucky: i guess It's my turn *clears throat* this one is for the boys with the booming system, top down, AC with the cooling system..

peter: I accidentally burned down the kitchen making scrambled eggs..

tony: *spits out coffee* you did whAT

steve: I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS

peter: despite being at a loss for words, both of them proceeded to yell at me for the next ten minutes.

~hai my sad children

sorry this is so late, i have absolutely no ideas so if you could message me some ideas i would be really grateful

merry Christmas :)

(500 words)

~bai my sad children