I think I love you... (5sos)

On hold

Kendall's P.O.V

I was snuggling up to Michael, while we watched 'The Breakfast Club' but I wasn't really paying attention because I was thinking the whole thing over with Luke, I wish I didn't say what I said, I mean I love him, but being popular was too much attention. I felt my eyes starting to water thinking about what he said "Well then I guess were o-over." it kept replaying in my mind, it felt as if it was trying to tease me.

I felt Michael move causing me to loose my thoughts and go back to reality, "Are you okay?" He asked, grabbing a slice of pizza, "Uh yeah Im fine, just thinking." I done the most fakest giggle, which he fell for. Luckily. I saw the end of the movie with the credits rolling down, was I seriously thinking for that long, I didn't even notice the pizza get here or anything.

My stomach grumbled, but I didn't want to eat I felt as if I needed to starve myself, I didn't need to extra weight. I just wanted to back upstairs listen to music, maybe write some songs, play guitar and be by myself.

"Uh can I go upstairs?" I asked subtley, I didn't want to sound rude, or them to think something's wrong.

"Yeah, is something wrong." Michael placed his hand on my thigh rubbing soothing patterns, "No, just I feel like going to bed, by myself." I softly smiled, standing up and walking upstairs.

As soon as I got upstairs and in to my bedroom, I got out my guitar, my music book and my pencil case. I chucked my covers off the bed and onto the floor creating a nice space to write, I started thinking about Luke and all my emotions, just sitting in silence trying to think of what to write when I eventually got my lyrics done after about an hour of silence and singing.

"Amnesia" (Pretend I wrote this song)

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though she's right beside you?
When s7he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down my face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone
And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around

It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long

It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down my face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

If today I woke up with you right beside me
Like all of this was just some twisted dream
I'd hold you closer than I ever did before
And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all

"I probably should sleep now." I spoke to myself, hopping up and grabbing my lacey pink pajama bottoms and my ac/dc tank top, I tied my hair in a bun, moving my stuff onto one side of my bed, laying down.

* 

I woke up, I checked my phone which was on charge, it was 6:30am, okay time to go to school. Yay.

I rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to have a shower, I washed my hair with my strawberries and cream shampoo and conditioner and shaved my legs. Once I was out I blow dried my hair and applied my usual makeup I then walked into my room to find an out fit. I ended up wearing purple lace undies with a matching bra with a denim skirt, white crop bralet and my plaid jacket tied around my waist aswell as my favourite maroon Dr Martens.

*skip drive to school*

I hopped out of the car with Rubi and Ashton, but instead of walking in with them I texted Calum and Michael 

Mickey :) - Hey where are you x

Cal :P - Hey where are you x

I got a reply nearly instantly from Cal. 

Cal :P - Im at my locker with Michael x

I walked thorugh the school gates and made my way towards Calum's locker, when I saw Luke standing there, did they set this up, really?

I turned around and started walking the other way when I heard him shout my name, I shrugged it off and kept walking, when I felt his grip on my wrist turn me around, "Im really sorry Kenz, Kendall please." He had my hand rubbing patterns into it looking at me, "Luke can we not do this, everyone is staring." I whispered, "We need to talk Kendall." He kept his blue eyes locked on mine, "Fine, but can we go somehwere else."

"Yeah sure." He said dragging me to a table and chairs outside, I sat down "So what do you need to talk about." "Can you even talk to me?" I questioned after what happened yesterday, "Uh yeah, you are still popular, but that's not I want to talk about, well it's half about that." He started but continued after he swallowed "We can't just be over, I still love you, I know you do too which would be weird if you didn't since it only happened yesterday, but I am so so sorry I ended it the way I did but when you said that I felt like you didn't want to be with me." He froze looking down at his lap. "Luke, please look at me and of course I still love you, I never stopped but what happened yesterday was a dick move." I grabbed his hand, and looked at him "But I don't think that we should do anything at the moment, just leave our relationship on hold okay, because it's just to complicated at the moment." I stood up, smiled softly before walking off back to my locker.

I saw Caluma and Michael standing there "So what happened you guys back together." Calum smiled but Michael looked upset until I said "No, we didn't." I smiled weakly, I knew it was the right thing to do but at the same time I would love to be in his arms, saying I love you. "Wait what!" Calum yelled, obviously trying not to be as loud but it didn't work "We didn't get back together, we put the realtionship on hold at the moment, it's getting to complicated and I can't handle this." I opened my locker trying to hide my face which I could tell was about to cracka nd I would start crying, I wiped my eyes putting my books inside, closing my locker. "Im going to find Rubi, okay." I walked off to the bubblers which they are always at.

"Hey guys." I smiled, "Rubi can we talk." I smiled but it dropped when I saw Luke flirting with some of the cheerleaders, I saw Rubi glance over to where I was looking so she ran up to me twisting me around so I was facing another way "Yes Kenz, what do you want." She smiled leading me down the hallway, "Uh yeah, me and Luke." I glanced back and saw him rubbing the main ones arm I think her name was 'Courtney' Wow. already flirting with another girl, good way to keep our relationship but what should I expect he is the 'most' popular guy in school, he could have any girl, why would he choose me? 

Im sorry if this was terrible, and I would like to apologize for the late updates but, I do have two other books, and school just started again,  Alana x

 

By the way there are two people who write on this account.