I think I love you... (5sos)

Kendall

Kendall's P.O.V
Shit.Shit.Shit! Why am I kidding Luke? I'm with Michael and I'm perfectly fine with that. Aren't I? But the kiss felt so amazing it felt right it wasn't like any kiss I shared with Michael...it actually had love and as soon as our lips met it felt like fireworks were let off in my stomach. Just as Luke's lips turned into a smile against my lips someone walked into the room "What are you doing" I heard the all to familiar voice say.... Shit Michael.
I walked away from Luke and over to Michael "Michael I" I started but was cut off when he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. I pulled away after a second. This is wrong this is so wrong. I love Luke. Wait what? I love him.... I needa tell Michael that means I'll have to tell him, I'll tell him when the times right. I ran out of the room and down the stairs to go to my car, but then realised I didn't have it with me f*#k! (Hehe)
I pulled my phone out and dialled a number that I instantly regret calling.... Mitchell, he was one of the many guys I was hanging out with when I was getting bad with drugs and all that shit but right now I didn't care I just needed out of this place and I was sure as hell not going up to the boys to walk in on them killing each other.

~FLASH BACK~

I was sitting around a fire with 10 boys that and I only knew one of them briefly when I say briefly I mean I met him 2 days ago and I only know his first name Mitchell.
Let's just say we were all high and drinking who knows what...
"Okay guys this is Kendall" Mitch said placing his hand on my thigh higher up then expected but I had no energy in all my body to push it away "I'll go around in a circle" he smirked as he started rubbing matters into my leg "Okay that Jesse" he said Ponting the guy sitting beside him, he seemed quite tall he did have some muscle but not to much to scare me he had messy dirty blonde hair and sparkling dark green almost brown eyes, Jesse smirked at me once he noticed I was staring at him which caused me to giggle a little "Thats Jacob" he said pointing to the guy sitting beside Jesse. He had brown hair and he was built still not to scary but if you got in the way of a lunch it would do some damage I didn't analyse him to much as I was to busy downing the remainder of drink in my cup "Could you fill this up" I groaned looking towards Mitch, I know I shouldn't have trusted him but it didn't really matter, he grabbed my cup and walked towards the house or shed what ever it was "Okay I'll continue this get to know each other" Jesse slurred "That's Kye sitting next to Jacob" I looked over and my eyes met the gaze of Kye's, he has soft looking lips and blonde Curley hair that he had tied up into a bun thing "That's Tyson" Jesse continued pointing to the boy beside Kye. Tyson looked really short and had blonde hair and green eyes the circle went so on. After Tyson was Tyler who had brown hair and didn't have much muscle not that I care anyway, after Tyler was Mason who had the most amazing blue eyes that looked as if they changed to grey every now and again "Hey babe I got your drink" Mitch said as he placed the drink on my lap "thanks" I mumbled "okay where are we up to in this circle?" Mitch asked yet another question "Okay I've met you" I giggled "Oh and Jesse, Tyler, Mason and Tyson.
"Okay so you still have to meet 5 more boys" he said "Yeah I do how lucky of me" I giggled.
I guess I giggle a lot when I'm high/drunk
"Okay Kelly I think your name is this is Jiah" Mitch said
"It's Kendall" I said "and Hey Jiah"
"Sorry babe" Mitch said as he placed a quick kiss to my lips "Hey Kendall" Jiah quickly said before returning to his conversation "This is Malik" Mitch said pointing to a boy with really cool Afro like hair "oo I like his hair, can I touch it?" I asked with all seriousness possible "That's Harry" he said pointing to a shirt skinny boy but he completely ignored my question. Whatever. "He's Alex" he said Ponting to a guy with brown hair and he was a little chubby I guess but he was pretty cute all up "And now you've met all ten of us" he finished as he pulled grabbed me into the shed house thing I still don't know what it is "What are we doing?" I asked
"Well we have some cocaine if your up for that" he said as he pulled the cocaine out and already had two lines lined up so I guess it wasn't a question "Ladies first" he smirked pointing towers the table I took in a deep breath before I leant down and snorted up the drugs "Eew Mitch it feels funny" I giggled as I stood up "Don't worry the feeling will go away" he said as he bent down and snorted up to cocaine just like I did. After that point everything from that night was a blur for about three to four weeks. All I remember is that I got really close with all those boys from the first, I wasn't eating or sleeping at all I think over the three weeks I had about 5 or so hours of sleep. I wasn't drinking anything unless it was alcohol and I smelt like shit. I remember one night really well I was with that Jesse guy and he offered me something and because I was already off my face I took it anyway. I started to feel really sick and called Michael because we had a little thing going on ever since my big fight with Luke but I remember after calling him he picked me up and took me home and tried to help me out but it wasn't working and I wasn't exactly helping the situation out because I wasn't talking or anything and I think within 3 or so days he decided to call Luke for some help and Luke although I hated him snapped some sort of sense in to me and flushed everything out of my body and helped me out.

~CURRENT~

"Kendall babe back to earth" I heard the familiar voice say snapping me back to reality "Hey you okay? You kinda blanked out" he asked looking a bit worried
"Yeah sorry can we just-" I was cut off by someone yelling out behind me and to no surprise it was Luke "KENDALL YOUR NOT GETTING IN THAT CSR WITH HIM!"
I groaned and turned around to see Luke speed walking towards me. He had bruises already showing up on his face and his nose and upper lip was bleeding "Shit Oh my god Luke are you okay? Oh my god I'm sorry" I said as I jumped into his arms "Baby I'm fine it's okay,okay? It's not your fault baby I promise you that much. I couldn't help but kiss the girl I love and you couldn't help but kiss me back even though you have a boyfriend so it lead to consequences for both of us but it's okay I love you" he said as he rubbed soothing patters into my lower back "and who's this guy?" He asked
"Oh this is Mitch" I said as I leaned out of the hug and turned to face Mitch
"Oh well he can leave now bye Mitch nice meeting" Luke said as he grabbed my hand and started to pull me away "Cya Mitch thanks for coming anyway I'm sorry" I said as I turned my head so I could see him he just waved at me as if to say it's fine. As soon as we walked into the house Michael pulled me into hug and started running his fingers up and down my back "I'm sorry" he whispered into my ear "it's okay Michael" I said as I leant out of the hug and squeezed his hand. An awkward silence filled the room for about a minute or two before I decided to break it "This is ridiculous both of you get in the lounge room now" I demanded as I turned to walk to the lounge room with them following silently behind me. I sat on the table in front of the lounge so that I could see both the boys "Okay we needa talk" I said as They sat down "Obviously" Michael muttered "Well then" I muttered "Okay so obviously I'm dating Michael but baby I'm sorry it's just really not working out I though I was over him but I do love him and I can't just turn that feeling Off I'm so sorry Michael but we can just be friends" I said not breaking out eye contact "FRIEND! JUST FRIENDS! WE CANT JUST BE FRIENDS IM IN LOVE WITH YOU KENDALL I DONT WANNA JUST BE FRIENDS. YES YOU MADE A MISTAKE YOU KISSED LUKE BUT I FORGIVE YOU COME ON BABY PLEASE GIVE US A CHANCE I love you so much" he yelled but quietened down at the end "I'm sorry Michael I can't do it" I said just above a whisper staring at the floor "Kendall" Michael said
"I'm sorry" I sobbed out. I didn't even realise I was crying to be honest
"Yeah me too" is all he said before standing up and placing a kiss on my Cheek "I love you" he whispered in my ear and left the house
"So" Luke said breaking the silence
"Shut up you" I giggled
"I love you Kendall Emerson" he said as he pulled me into his lap so I was basically straddling him
"I love you too Luke Hemmings" I said and kissed his cheek but he winced as it was all bruised "I'm sorry about that" I said as I lightly ran my fingers along his jaw line "It's okay baby it wasn't your fault" he said before placing his lips onto mine