Castle and Beckett: Always

Chapter 31

On the way to Dr. Burke's office, Kate said, "I'm sorry Rick." "For what?" asked Castle. "For having flashbacks when I saw you," she answered. "Kate honey, you can't control that. It isn't your fault," he said. "How are we going to have more kids if I get scared just looking at you? I want to make another baby with you and feel that connection again, but we can't because of me," Kate said as a few tears rolled down her face. "Kate, I promise that sometime we will be able to do that, we just have to take things slow and give you time to heal," Castle said as he wiped the tears from her face. "Have you gotten your period back yet?" asked Castle. "No. Why?" asked Kate confused. "So, even if you were not taken, we still wouldn't be able to make a baby," said Castle. Kate sighed and said, "I guess you're right." Though he didn't make her feel much better. As they pulled up to Dr. Burke's building, Kate said, "I want to go in first, and have you and the twins wait outside. I will come get you after a few minutes." "Okay my love," replied Castle.

Kate knocked on Dr. Burke's office door, and he immediately answered, "Come in." Kate walked in the room and sat down on the couch across from where Dr. Burke was seated at his desk. "Hi Kate. It has been a long time since you were here. How are you?" he asked. "I recently had another traumatic event happen to me, and I need your help," said Kate. "Okay, what happened?" asked Dr. Burke. "I'll tell you in a second, but first I want you to meet my husband," replied Kate. "Husband? Is it Castle?" he asked. She didn't answer, but instead she went out into the hall, took Johanna from Rick's lap, and led him in the room. "You had twins?" said Dr. Burke very suprised. Kate nodded and motioned for Castle to sit beside her. "Well, I see you finally told Castle you had feelings for him," said the therapist. Kate nodded again and moved closer to Rick, who was holding Cosmo. "So what happened?" asked Dr. Burke. Kate looked at Castle for reassurance and held his hand. "I just got released from the hospital yesterday from the injuries I suffered when I was kidnapped," started Kate. Dr. Burke nodded, silently asking for her to continue. "I was raped and tortured with a scalpel," Kate said slowly. She rolled up her yoga pants and took off her sweatshirt (she had a tee shirt underneath), to show him some of the injuries. "She had to have over 200 stitches," said Castle. "So what has happened because of this event?" Dr. Burke asked. "I have been having a lot of the same things happen like I did after my shooting," said Kate. "I have nightmares of the torture and rape. If I see anything sharp or shiny, I will shake and have flashbacks of the scalpel against my skin. Umm.. If I see him naked, I will have flashbacks of them raping me," she said gesturing to Castle. "So you want help getting over these nightmares and flashbacks?" asked the therapist. "Yeah," clarified Kate. "Alright," he replied. Dr. Burke diagnosed her with a rare type of PTSD, and explained how he thinks Kate can overcome it. After about a half an hour, Cosmo started to fuss. "Kate, I think he's hungry," said Castle. Kate sighed and handed Jo to Castle and took Cosmo. "Will you excuse me for a second?" she asked. "Of course," replied Dr. Burke. She grabbed a blanket and went to the bathroom next door, to get him to latch onto her breast. "What can I do to help Kate?" Castle asked as soon as she left. "If she is having a flashback, remove whatever caused it, and try to comfort her and get her to snap back to reality," said Dr. Burke. "Yeah, that's what I have been doing. (pause...) Anytime I get out of bed during the night she will have nightmares and scream in her sleep. I only have to be gone like two minutes. How do I prevent that from happening?" Castle asked. "I will prescribe some medications that may help, but I would keep water and advil next to your bed, so if you need either of those, you won't have to get up. Maybe keeping your children in your bedroom could also minimize having to leave her for a few minutes. And if you have to go to the bathroom, just make it as quick as possible," he suggested. Castle nodded, and Kate came back in the room, a blanket draped over her as she fed Cosmo. "Sorry that took so long, he was being very uncooperative," apologized Kate. "That's alright," replied Dr. Burke. He discussed medications with the couple, until Cosmo finished eating. Then Dr. Burke asked, "Do you want to try what you did after your shooting to manage your anger?" "Sure," replied Kate. "Did you bring something to change into?" Dr. Burke asked. Kate nodded and pulled some clothes out of the baby bag. She went in the other room to change, and Dr. Burke said to Castle, "I like to have her punch a punching bag and pretend it is the person that harmed her. It helps get anger out and it helps you learn to accept what happened and move on." Castle nodded and followed Dr. Burke into another room, which had a punching bag in the center. Soon Kate emerged in a sports bra and athletic shorts. You could see almost all of her bruises and stitches with what she was wearing. Dr. Burke was shocked when he saw how beat up her body had gotten. He cringed imagining what she went through. It pained Castle to see her stitches and bruises. It makes him feel bad that he wasn't there to stop it sooner. Dr. Burke set a timer for three minutes and told Kate to imagine the bag was the people who harmed her. She punched it really fast, with all her strength over and over until the minutes were up. When she was done, Kate felt a lot better, and went to change back into her yoga pants and NYPD sweatshirt. Dr. Burke talked more to Kate about her abduction and how to start to overcome her issues. He suggested trying to have intercourse frequently, going a little farther each time if Kate can handle it. Dr. Burke took out a pen to write her a prescription for a medication that may help, and she started to have flashbacks again when she saw the silver shiny color of the pen and the slightly pointy tip. She started shaking and clamped her eyes shut. Kate then began to scream and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. Castle quickly put the twins in their carriers, as Dr. Burke put away the pen. Castle shook her and yelled her name, but neither worked like he suspected. Rick leaned down and kissed her on the lips, which immediately calmed Kate down. After a few seconds, she kissed him back, and opened her eyes. She sat up and blushed when she saw Dr. Burke looking at her. "What?" she asked him. "You know I am having these issues, why do you look suprised?" "I just didn't realize how bad it was, but we will change that." said Dr. Burke. "I find it very interesting how you calm down and the flashbacks fade when you feel his lips on you; that you can tell it's your husband while having the flashback." Kate blushed again and he took out a neon green pencil to finish writing the prescription. Castle, Beckett, Johanna, and Cosmo, left shortly after, and stopped at a pharmacy to fill the prescription, at Pizza Hut to get dinner, and then returned home. Kate fed the twins, put them to bed, and then ate a few slices of pizza. "I'm proud of you," said Castle. "Why?" asked Kate. "Because you admitted you needed help and weren't afraid to ask for it. You also told someone else about what happened. That can't have been easy." Kate just nodded and looked in his blue eyes, getting lost in their beauty. She leaned over and kissed him, licking his lip, asking for entrance. Rick opened his lips and let Kate explore his mouth before he went into hers. They tasted each other and shared a moment of passionate love. Their kiss was cut short by someone clearing their throat. Their both turned their heads and saw Alexis standing there with Tesa on her hip. "Can I have the rest of the pizza?" asked Alexis. "Sure," Castle and Beckett replied in sync. So, she took the two remaining slices, and went back upstairs, without saying another word. "Do you want to go to bed?" asked Castle. Kate nodded, so he carried her bridal style into the bedroom, and helped her get ready for bed. Then they both snuggled up together for the rest of the night.