pieces | ethma

Neon Moon part 2: 25 in Barcelona

Emma

"Happy Birthday, Emma!"

I smile as my friends Elena, Sofía, Isabella, Manuel and Javier crowd around my kitchen island in my flat.

It's been a year since Ethan and I split. He told me that I couldn't give up my dream job for him, so we broke up.

I moved to Barcelona, Spain.

I work for a travel company, as a writer. I get to explore all of Europe, and write about my experiences. I love this job so much, but my heart feels empty without Ethan.

Here I am on my 25th birthday, surrounded by amazing friends in a beautiful city, and all I can think about is Ethan.

I miss him so much.

Sometimes I want to call him so bad, but I know he's probably moved on.

Maybe he knew we weren't right for each other, and that's why he told me not to stay.

Still, I can't help but wonder how he's doing. What he's up to.

I've been to nervous to reach out to his family.

I miss them a lot too.

Here I am with all of these people who are happy in a foreign language. They don't know a thing about Ethan.

After all is said and done, I know he wanted me to be happy. I want him to be happy too.

I really really hope he's doing alright.

If I'm being honest, part of my dream was to travel with Ethan. I always dreamed that he'd be standing next to me here in Europe.

Instead he's halfway around the world, and we don't speak anymore.

I wonder how much longer this heartache will last. I wonder what would happen if I went back for him.

Maybe it'd last forever this time. I'm not sure I could ever leave him again if he takes me back.

As my friends and I eat birthday cake, the decision is clear in my mind.

I have to go back to Arizona.