pieces | ethma

August

Emma

Ethan and I broke up almost a year ago, yet I still get a sick to my stomach feeling when I think about the fact that we've both moved on with our lives.

That particular week in August felt like the worst week of my life.

We weren't fighting, but I think we both knew we weren't working.

August seemed to be such an eventful month for Ethan and I.

We started dating in the month of August, and quite frankly we broke up a year later. In August.

Now it's been a year since we broke up. I tried to distract myself from the heartbreak with Aaron, but Aaron turned out to be the worst decision of my life.

I found out from a friend of a friend that Ethan had started seeing someone. Of course rumors of who it was started circulating around January, but what hurt the most was in August when Ethan confirmed it.

He never said her name, but there was enough evidence for everyone to know who it was. And she was the one he told me not to worry about.

Even though I'm dating Tucker, there's still a huge part of my heart that belongs to Ethan, and it breaks every time I hear his name. It broke even worse when he said one simple word on the internet.

"Yup."

I was so upset that I threw up due to how anxious I was. How could he choose the one he told me not to worry about? What does he see in her and not me?

I knew I'd be upset once Ethan moved on. In fact, I felt like I wasn't fully moved on. I was trying to.

What hurt the absolute most was that Grayson said Ethan liked her for four years. Ethan and I  dated two years ago. Does that mean I was his distraction from her?

All of the sudden, nothing made sense. I felt sick.

I wanted to be alone.

No Tucker. No Olivia or Amanda. No parents. No one. Just myself.

That's what I needed.

Of course Olivia called me to check up on me that first day. She knew I'd be upset.

I told her what I needed was time to myself.

Tucker reached out, but I ignored him. I think he must've got the memo after three missed calls.

I was tense for a week. I shut my phone off, and slept as much as I could.

After a week of being silent on all socials, people started to wonder if I was okay. I didn't even talk to Tucker for a week, and I barely even talked to Olivia.

Even when they came over I pushed them away as soon as possible. I didn't know how I could be fixed.

Finally, after a week and a half, I was in my kitchen forcing myself to at least eat a sandwich when I heard a familiar voice outside of my apartment's front door.

"Emma. Open up."

I closed my eyes. This was the last thing I was expecting today.

"No one's home." I called.

"Emma, I know you're in there. Now open the door or I'm breaking in."

I marched over to the door and opened it. "Damn it, Grayson what are you doing here?" I asked.

He was absolutely the last person I expected. Hell, I even would expect Ethan to show up before Grayson did. I don't know why, but I did.

"Olivia called me." He said, making his way through my apartment and sitting down on my couch.