grofflin

*sad noises*

Groff's pov

The next few days were very awkward between us. I dropped by to pick up my stuff. While I was there, we barely exchanged two words. I asked how Sebbie was doing. He said he was doing fine. The rest was spent in silence, when I was about to leave, I couldn't help myself to make a remark though. I said that I hoped he would be willing to work on his problems, because I missed him already. He didn't say anything in response, his hands reached for his arm, but he stopped himself, instead allowing a tear to roll down his face. My eyes were already tearing up the moment I saw him, but I refrained from crying in front of him.

At work at was even more awkward, we would avoid eye contact, but every time his beautiful brown eyes would accidentally cross mine they would tear up. All I wanted was for him to say that he wouldn't do it again, that he would stop for me (and Sebbie). Every time I would look at his arm my heart would sting.

Today, a week after the incident he suddenly mumbled something. "Why do you care so much if I hurt myself anyways?" He looks immediately ahead, hoping I didn't hear him, but I did. "Can we sit down for a second? I want to talk" I say to him. He sits down with visible annoyance. "You want to know why I care so much? First of all, I love you, you're my best friend Lin, I don't want to see you hurt" I breathe for a second trying to find the right words." Second, your son deserves better than a dad who is hurting himself, when he is older, he will need to deal with not having a mom. He will probably ask questions about her and I think you should be able to answer them, without completely breaking down". I think of my friend who committed suicide, I tear up a bit and I think Lin notices because he finally looks up at me. "The third reason, I had a friend, a close friend. He would hurt himself too. When I asked him about it, he basically said the same thing as you" I take another deep breath before going on. "I was there for him, every time he would cut himself, I would come, I would bandage his wounds, hold him while he cried. I begged him to stop, he just said that it was to manage the pain from his life". Lin softly puts his hand on mine. "Over a few months I saw that he began to cut even more, even deeper, the physical pain wasn't enough for him anymore, he kept on pushing deeper and deeper. Until one day, I walked in, he had hung himself. The reason I care so much Lin, is because I've already been through this with someone else. He wasn't willing to work on it and that led to his death. I can't watch you go through it to, I love you too much".

"I love you 2, Groffsauce" he says tears in his eyes, before he moves his hand to my face to wipe away the tears that I didn't even know were streaming down my face. I make some sad noises. He pulls me in for a hug. We just stay like this for a while, crying into each other's shoulders.

"5-minute call" sounds trough the sound system. Shitttt!!!! We're both not in costume yet and the make-up is all fucked up, because we cried so much. Even though we're scrambling to get our costumes on. I can't help but have a small smile on my face. Though he hasn't promised anything yet, I feel like we made loads of progress today. My heart feels a million pounds lighter when I step on stage and I can't help but notice that Lin hasn't pinched his arm for the whole show. When I see him perform, I can't help but think to myself. That is the man I love, even if I can only be in his life as his best friend. He is more than worth it.