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I watch nervously as my professor stares at the piece of work I laid out on her desk, her eyes tracing over every inch of the piece, taking everything about it in. I don't know how to feel about it. I like it, I know I like it. But I just don't know if it's what I was looking for.
Sure it's a beautiful piece and the color helps represent the emotions, but to me it's nothing unique. It's the same as all my other pieces of work. I tried to make it happier but I didn't exactly know how. You can't paint emotions you don't experience. And recently happiness has been foreign to me. And I wish I could understand why.
Last week when I spoke with Cora was sort of the start of it. After she had made me feel like absolute shit and said all of that stuff about me and Harry and my parents. It then stemmed from me hiding half of Cora and I's argument from Harry to protect his feelings. And now he and I haven't spoken since last night. And I hate it.
Last night he had snapped at me for no reason, if he didn't want to talk about it, he could've just said so. He didn't have to be an asshole to me and storm off. The last thing I want to do is fight so I decided to give him some space, but it's worrying me. I tried to call him and text him a few times and he didn't answer, so my nerves are spiked through the roof. They have been all day.
"This painting." My professor begins, my eyes focusing back in as I push away my intruding thoughts. "It's magnificent, it's beautiful." She continues, her eyes flickering up to mine. "I knew you had it in you, Clover." She smiles.
"But it isn't unique." I tell her quietly. She rolls her lips into her mouth and stares at me for a moment. "That's what you wanted, my painting doesn't meet the requirements Mrs. Kay." I add.
"Well to you it may seem average, but to me, it's something I've never seen before. The colors contrast with one another and they bring the emotion into the piece. It might not be as unique as others, but this is emotion only you can create."
I stare down at the painting and let out a small sigh, still feeling as though it isn't anything special. I've made better pieces than this, it's just another painting honestly. I'm proud of it, but it doesn't give me chills when I see it. I don't want to stare at it for hours and I'm pretty sure nobody would want to buy a piece like this.
"You're still unconvinced." Mrs. Kay speaks easily. I shrug and chew the inside of my cheek as I meet her gaze. She's a young woman, close to her mid thirty's probably. And she's a great artist herself. And a really good teacher for that matter. She knows a lot.
"I'm sorry." I apologize. She simply shakes her head and sends me a reassuring smile.
"It's nothing to apologize for, Clover." She answers. "I'll tell you what, let's try again, but this time dig deep. Deeper than you ever have before, find out what's really eating you up inside and paint it, color it, sketch it. Do whatever you have to do to find the root of these emotions. I want to see it back here in three weeks." She tells me.
YOU ARE READING
Yellow || hs au
FanfictionThe devastating and heart wrenching story of Yellow, takes you through the journey and relationship of an addict, and a woman who views the world through rose colored glasses. Throughout the story of Yellow, you will see how the struggles, the disap...