Yellow || hs au

|71|

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The sun is just peeking over the horizon as I sit silently on my balcony, my back against the end of the small couch with my knead propped in the air. I woke up this morning, about an hour ago, feeling sick and angry for letting myself drink last night, all because I wanted to forget stupid reality. And it didn't even work. I know this is something I have to deal with, it's real life. But I just don't know if I can watch my parents move on without me.

The air is still crisp and chilly with slight morning breeze, Harry's hoodie covers my body, my underwear the only other piece of clothing on me. I'm surprised I managed to slip out of bed without waking Harry up, but I did. He slept hard all night.

The city is slowly coming to life as the sun continues to rise into another beautiful day. The honking is going to start picking up any minute now, just like the sound of tires screeching on the pavement and the jumbled murmur of the citizens of the city. Life goes on. Life always goes on no matter who died, no matter what happened. Tomorrow always comes, even if you don't want it to.

"Baby." Harry's voice is raspy and tired, the sliding door gliding smoothly as he closes it behind him, my eyes following his slow movements. I send him a small smile that falls, Harry sighing as he sits on the other end of the couch, watching me with tired eyes.

"You should go back to sleep, H. I'm fine, I'm just thinking." I assure him, running my fingertips down my legs, bringing goosebumps to my skin. Harry sighs and rubs his eyes with his fingers.

"I'm not going back to sleep unless you come with me." He states, his voice hoarse and gravelly. I sigh, my gaze dropping to my lap as I bring my hands to my thighs. "Your parents divorced after years of marriage, you're allowed to be upset, Clover." Harry continues, a sigh escaping my lips.

"I'm not upset, Harry. I honestly don't care, it's just another point proven that they never gave a shit about me." I snap, pinching my eyes closed as I sigh. "I'm sorry." I whisper, shaking my head with guilt, knowing he's just trying to be here for me and make me feel better.

"I wish you would stop saying that, Clover. Your parents care about you, they just don't show it in ways that you want." He sighs. I shake my head in disagreement.

"You don't understand." I mumble, standing up from the couch and moving inside. It takes Harry less than a second to follow me.

"No, no we aren't doing that." He voices, his hand catching mine and spinning me to face him. "You don't tell me what I do and don't understand, I understand this more than you think. Do not push me away right now." He continues, his eyes flickering between my own as I stare up at him.

"I'm fine. I'm not talking about this anymore, Harry." I state firmly, watching as he shakes his head. My eyebrows furrow as he lets go of my hand, moving to sit on my couch.

"You aren't fine, you got wasted last night and you don't drink. You hate alcohol. You are not fine, Clover and that's okay." He replies easily, watching me with his hands folded, his forearms rested on his knees. "I love you, and I know how you work, you don't get to lie to me." He continues, my heart racing in my chest as I stare out the window, avoiding his gaze.

"I have to go to work." I voice after a moment of silence and Harry staring at me. I don't wait for his response as I walk off to my bedroom, although he follows with heavy foot steps.

"Not until ten." Harry speaks, walking towards me as I open my closet door. He invades my personal space by a long shot as he wraps his arm around my waist, the other closing my closet door before turning me to fully face him. "Don't be upset." He mumbles, his lips pressing to my collar bones as he hugs me, my hands sliding around his waist.