Yellow || hs au

|44|

—

I feel my body shift out of sleep, my mind beginning to stir with thoughts as I slowly wake myself up. I swallow harshly, my mouth slightly dry as I flutter my tired eyes open. The room is immediately familiar just by the look of the ceiling fan. I sigh and sit up from the comfortable bed, the covers falling down to my waist as I rub my eyes.

Harry's bedroom is quiet and dark, the only light comes from under the door of his bathroom. I sigh and rub my eyes tiredly, unsure about what happened. I know I was at Zayn's at some point worried about Harry.

I remember feeling light headed and extremely stressed out. But I feel like there was nothing to be stressed out over. Harry and his whereabouts, maybe. I think I was just working myself up way too much and passed out at Zayn's.

I look over as the bathroom door opens quietly, Harry stepping out in just a pair of boxers. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of me being awake, a small frown falling onto his lips.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" He questions. I swallow thickly, staring at him for a moment and letting all of my emotions run through my veins. "Is your head okay?" He continues, watching me intently.

"Did I even cross your mind at all today when you were off doing whatever the fuck it was?" I ask sharply. He sighs and moves to turn on the beside table lamp, sitting down near my feet, his head hung low. "Because all I did today was hope and pray you were alive." I snap.

"I wasn't shooting up, I was at the gym." He replies easily, looking over at me. I stare at him with a hard look on my face. "I know it looks bad, but you have to trust me. I was not getting high." He states clearly. "I hate that you even think that." He mumbles lowly.

"What am I supposed to think then, Harry? The last time you disappeared you were shooting up and nowhere to be found." I exclaim, shaking my head. "I've called and texted you all day, you didn't have time to reply and tell me you weren't dead?" I continue, Harry's head hung low as he stares at his feet. "I care about you, Harry, and I know you find that hard to believe but I do. So you don't get to just ignore me when you feel like it or when we argue, I'm your girlfriend, we're in this together."

Harry rolls his lips into his mouth and rolls his shoulders back, looking over at me with a frown on his lips. His face is soft and innocent looking and if I wasn't so worried about him I'd be obsessing over him.

"I know." He whispers.

"Do you? Because yesterday it seemed like you were the same person from five months ago, and I know you aren't." I snap. I shove the covers of his bed off of me and stand from the bed, walking past him, he reaches out for me and I simply ignore him, walking out towards the front of his apartment.

"Please don't leave." Harry's voice catches me slightly off guard as I lean my elbows on the counter, my face pressed into my palms. "I. . . I'm so— I'm sorry." I turn around to face him and his unspoken words. Harry has never apologized to me. He's never said those words before. They sound foreign. I can tell it was hard for him to say considering the pauses but he still did it. For me. "I'm sorry, baby." He whispers.

"You're so important to me, Harry. I need you, I need you to be safe." I tell him. He stands tall and watches me with a shy look on his face.

"I'm trying to be better for you, I am. But it's so fucking hard. I'm not used to this." He sighs quietly. I frown and follow him to the couch, sitting beside him. "I care about you more than I do myself, I'd literally bleed myself dry for you but I just keep fucking everything up."

"You made a mistake and that's okay." I tell him, making a memory of his previous words that made my heart swell in my chest. "You didn't fuck anything up." I whisper.