Konosuba x Male Reader

An Invitation From a Knucklehead

Megumin was currently panicking. There was this whole mission thing that happened and now everything weird. Kazuma died but that's pretty common by this point, Aqua was her usual self, same story with Darkness, you were acting strange though, the injuries from the mission did a number on you as well.

(Y/n): My bones hurt...

You called out weakly from your room as Megumin looked up from her thoughts and went to bring you some cool cloth. 

Megumin: Still... (Y/n) called me his dear fated partner... he is acting weird but...

(Y/n): I can taste colors... they all taste like copper for some reason...

Megumin sighed softly before dashing back to your room, finding you sprawled out on your bed with various bandages wrapped around your body.

Megumin: Are you alright (Y/n)?

(Y/n): Besides the pain everywhere I'm doing fine. How are you Megumin?

Megumin let out a sigh again as she gently lifted the cloth and placed it on your bandaged face. Your body tensing up before relaxing as you stared through the cloth at Megumin.

(Y/n): My body is becoming a vessel for memes and violence.

Megumin: I don't know what that means... does it have something to do with me being your dear fated partner?

You attempted to sit up in the bed and coughed softly, feeling your muscles ache from the strain after the mission. Your hair flowed messily, a few strands landing in front of your bandaged face. 

(Y/n): Hmm... yes my dear fated partner... our fates are connected... as are all of those who journey into Zion.

Megumin tilted her head to the side, clearly not understanding this reference at all. She pressed the cloth to your chest as you moved your body to sit on the side of the bed.

(Y/n): Where are the others? 

Megumin: In the living room by the fire-

(Y/n): Fire?

You spoke softly before standing up abruptly, walking out into the hallway mumbling,

(Y/n) : The burned man walks again.

Megumin: But you didn't get burned!

Megumin set the cloth to the side and rushed after you, wondering if the injuries you had sustained had messed with your head.

Megumin pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened to everything. Kazuma was doing business or something and Aqua was trying to mooch off of him. Meanwhile her "dear fated partner" was in kotatsu with Darkness wrapped around his bandaged finger.

Megumin: First Kazuma and now (Y/n) has some kinda personality disorder!

Kazuma: It is kinda weird how many specific personalities (Y/n) have now... then again all I care about is getting my money and my chance in the spotlight! the freaking author almost had me making out with (Y/n) so I could care less what happens to him!

Darkness: I don't see what the big issue is! (Y/n) seems perfectly healthy and mentally strong to me. Isn't that right~?

(Y/n): Yes my courier. We will restore order to Zion by trampling the demon king under our boot. and should our skin burn and our bones break, we will be locked together in a new world of pain and love.

Darkness smacked her head onto the kotatsu with a grunt, her breath coming out in pants as her face broke out into a blush.

Darkness: Ahhhhh! I will fight with you till the end (Y/n)!

Darkness cuddled into the side of you, her head resting on your shoulder as you closed your eyes, thinking of the future of Zion and her peoples.

The other three in the room were still confused about what the heck you were talking about. Aqua seemed particula-

Aqua: Of course I'm steamed! Why do Megumin and Darkness get personalities but not me?! I'm always last in these freaking things. I'm a goddess darn it! Shouldn't I get some love too?!

Kazuma: Could you calm it down? I'm trying to heal from my broken neck, remember? So don't lump me in the pervert and her walking reference.

Megumin pinched her chin in thought. Healing... Oh yeah!

Megumin: then how about we heal up your injury.

Kazuma: Eh? Nah it's fine I can just slack off enough for it to heal.

Megumin: No let's go! To the city of water and hot springs, Arcanretia.

Kazuma: No really it- Did you say hot springs?

You let your eyes slide open. Hmm... hot springs eh? Sounds like a good time for comical events involving mixed bathing... that actually doesn't sound that bad but it does make you wonder, what will happen if you hit your head again? you already have a reference from Jojo and now Fallout, what could possibly be next... and is Aqua gonna get her own version of you?

Darkness: What do you think (Y/n)?

(Y/n): the waters of Babylon might give me the healing to return to my normal self... or it might lead to another wacky event. Probably the latter but I certainly won't say no. Will you join me in the baths, my courier? I believe baring ourselves to each other might let us come up with a proper plan to drive back the demonic horde.

Darkness let her perversions kick in again as she panted. the idea of being with such a strange and violent individual though one that she cared for and cared for her only seemed to excite her more. Megumin felt her teeth grit softly as she glared at the spectacle. she was hoping the healing waters of the hot springs would return you back to normal... or least back into the weel dressed blonde version of you that held her close.

Meanwhile Aqua was still upset she hasn't gotten her chance yet. she is constantly being made the butt of every joke, so it's only right that she get a version of you for herself. she clenched her face as she looked at you with a suspicious smile. If the author wouldn't let her get a version naturally, she would just force you to reference something! though what could it possibly be... eh she would figure it out on the way there. and if anyone was gonna spend time with you in the hot springs it was gonna be her! Come on, who better to be within the city of water than a water goddess?

The author was skeptical of this idea but decided to let her be. As you continue to suffer from multiple Reference disorder, who or what will happen next to finish out this weird trilogy of yours? Guess we will have to see in the hot springs chapter!