Konosuba x Male Reader

My Beating Weeb Heart

(Y/n): H-Help me!

The battle was fierce. Cabbages outnumbered your party of adventurers 10 to 1, but in the end, the cabbage menace was slaughtered. Your magic had turned those cabbages into iceberg lettuce(Heh) and you claimed victory with your comrades. Now you were in a completely new battle.

Female Adventurer 1: He's so cute!

Female Adventurer 2: He's adorable! Can I keep him as a pet?

(Y/n): I-I'm not a p-pet!

There was a brief moment of silence. You sighed in relief a bit.

All Female Adventurers: KAWAII!!!

(Y/n): Please stop p-pulling me!

You were being pulled back and forth amongst two girls before your eyes caught those of an upset looking Darkness. Darkness? Perfect! You managed to pull yourself before rushing into Darkness and threw your arms around her and resting your face on her chest. This was the exact moment you realized in the fight she no longer had chest plating. So... her rather um... voluptuous? erm, assets were pressed into your face.

(Y/n): Help me Darkness!

Darkness: I um well I...

(Y/n): Please. 

You tried to push yourself back and took a firm and strong grip on her breast by accident. Darkness' face flashed deep red before she let out a soft moan. You face exploded in crimson from embarrassment and a possible nosebleed.

Darkness: You naughty boy...

(Y/n): I didn't... I didn't I er um...!

You quickly turn to the group of female adventurers gathered around the two of you.

(Y/n): I'm sorry ladies, but I can't come with you because um...

Female Adventurer 1: Why?

(Y/n): Because I um... we-

Female Adventurer 2: Tell us cutie.

(Y/n): You're not m-making it easy!

Female Adventurer 1 and 2: Just tell us!

(Y/n): Because... Because... oh!

You got an idea you threw your arm around Darkness' shoulders and pulled her close.

(Y/n): My girlfriend wouldn't like that! 

Darkness: Girlfriend?!

All Female Adventurers: Girlfriend?!

Aqua and Megumin: Girlfriend?!

(Y/n): Yep!

Megumin: When did this happen?!

Aqua: How did this happen?!

(Y/n): It happened during the battle. she guarded my life against those cabbages and I saw how perfect and beautiful she was and couldn't stand not being by her side. So I asked her out and that's how it happened.

Aqua: I don't believe it.

You head whipped toward Aqua and you shot her an angry look that she must not have noticed.

Aqua: Prove it.

(Y/n): W-What?

Aqua had an evil smirk on her face as she thought about something.

Aqua: Prove to us she is your girlfriend.

Megumin: A-Aqua?!

(Y/n): U-Uh sure.