Konosuba x Male Reader

An Over-The-Top Stealth Mission!

???: Why did we get picked for this job?!

???: Will you shut it?! this is a recon mission, not a let the giant walking death machine know we are here mission!

???: I wanna go back to sleep...

???: You can use my lap, sweetie~

???: No!

???: SHHHHHH!!!

This stealth mission was not going all that well. Three guys were crouched in the bushes waiting for an ancient weapon to walk past so they could alert the others and go to battle, you know, the usual stuff.

???: I don't even know why I'm out here, I'm not even an adventurer! It's all your damn fault, Xavier!

Xavier: This is payback for trying to cheat me! Now stay quiet Hitoshi!

Hitoshi gave a pout and then quietly fell back into the arms of another boy with brightly colored hair.

Hitoshi: (Y/n), sweetie, Xavier is being so mean to me! Aren't you going to defend your lady's honor?

(Y/n): Nyeh!

You took the quick action of simply stepping back and letting Hitoshi fall back into the dirt.

Hitoshi: You jerk! I just got my hair done!

Xavier let out a deep sigh as the other two quarreled. They could be a little more serious since they were "technically" the first line of defense against the Destroyer, an ancient weapon that... destroyed everything in its path. Then again the only job their line had was to run away and alert the next line which was at the actual city walls.

(Y/n): No I don't wanna touch your legs!

Hitoshi: You're missing out bu-

Hitoshi was cut off as the ground under the group's feet rumbled slightly. You gulped slightly as you quickly pulled Hitoshi to the ground with you as Xavier scanned the horizon.

(Y/n): Do you see it?

Xavier: The rumbling is getting stronger, but I don't see anything. Wait... so this thing can destroy anything right?

(Y/n): Mhmm.

Xavier: So that includes mountains?

Hitoshi: Yeah.

Xavier: I think you both know where I am going with this so do you wanna get the hell out of here?

(Y/n)/Hitoshi: Yep.

There seemed to be a pause the only sounds that filled this silent void was the sound of rumbling growing stronger. Then the group gathered its senses and began running full speed down the path. You were kinda grateful for all of the running you had been forced to do up to this point because your endurance managed to keep you from dying as you sprinted alongside Xavier. Hitoshi, who insisted on wearing a dress, to the recon mission was a little bit behind seeing as he had to lift the skirt of his gown and run that way. Behind the three of you, the sound of crashing alerted all of you to the quickly advancing mobile fortress. Everything seemed to be fine until your ears picked up on something. The sound of the three people running dropped to two. So if Xavier was still running and you were still keeping up that meant... oh for the love of.

You glanced over your shoulder and saw that Hitoshi had either stumbled or collapsed entirely, staring back at the machine. You let an irritated sigh before turning on your heels and racing back toward him.

(Y/n): Hitoshi! What happened?!

Hitoshi: S-Spiders... I-I don't like...

You slapped a hand onto your face and decided to swallow your pride to pick up the boy bridal style. You couldn't necessarily give him a piggyback ride when he is too scared to move.