Konosuba x Male Reader

God's Blessing On You

(Y/n): Man why do I get the boring jobs?!

You asked this to no one in particular as you walked down the street. Lately, it seemed that any quests you went on either paid awfully or were just downright boring in some way. For example. you had just stood around for four hours as a traffic guard. Did this town even have a traffic guard? You didn't know but you were paid to stand around for four hours. As you walked down the street a really relaxed looking man crossed your path nearly knocking you over. 

(Y/n): H-Hey watch it!

Male Adventurer: Sorry about that! I can barely control my legs.

You stared at him confused. He couldn't feel his legs? Did he get attacked or something? As you examined the stranger, he, in turn, examined you. With a big smile, he stepped closer and whispered something to you.

Male Adventurer: Are you feeling a bit... pent up?

Pent up? What did that mean? 

Male Adventurer: If you're feeling a bit stressed, head down that alley.

He quickly gestured to an alleyway nearby. He patted you on the shoulder before wobbling off down the street. You titled your head in slight confusion. To be honest... hanging out with Darkness, Aqua, and Megumin was a tad bit stressful. That guy seemed relaxed and you could certainly do with a less stressed back. So down that alley must be... a massage parlor! You smiled brightly and walked over to the alley. It seemed like any other alley until you reached an intriguing entrance. The sign to the side read "Hell's Door". Seemed a bit weird for a massage parlor, but who were you to judge? As you reached for the handle to the door, you stopped just short. Something felt off, your weeb senses were tingling. What could possibly lie behind this door that would set them off? You took a deep breath and entered the shop only to find low lighting and a terrifying amount of scantily clad women. You panicked and threw your hands in front of your eyes.

(Y/n): M-M-My fragile purity is being assaulted!

???: Hello there~

You hesitantly peeked through your shaking fingers to find one of the scantily clad women standing in front you. Her long pink haired flowed elegantly to show off her flawless skin and beautiful eyes. She was the picture of almost unnatural beauty... and she had huge breasts.

???: You're quite adorable.

(Y/n): Back temptress!

You waved one of your hands in front of you, in an attempt to protect your innocence only to slap something rather large and fleshy. Your already blushing face had steam coming off of it by now as you heard the pink haired temptress let out a moan.

???: Mhmm~ I see you're the rough type~

(Y/n): W-W-Wait no t-that was an acc-!

You waved your hands frantically, but the woman gripped your wrists and led you further into the shop. Your protests were drowned out by the sound of men and women talking throughout the shop and your brain telling you multiple times to roll with it. The blush in your face was starting to hurt by this point, so you took your actions into your own hands. You pulled one of your hands free and turned to the temptress.

(Y/n): S-Stop ri-

Your shaking voice was cut off by another slap against a meaty surface. You gulped and turned around slowly. another one of the women was holding her behind. She looked over her shoulder at you seductively, biting her lower lip slightly as she held back another groan.

???: I knew you were the rough type~

the pink haired seductress pet the top of your head, but you didn't feel it. Blood poured from your nose and you fell backward. Your innocent mind (Questionable) couldn't take it anymore.